Did your parents make you pay rent?

[Mem]

To live with them after 18 or at any time?

Mine didn't and they didn't want me to move out when I did. My father said as long as he's around I will always have a home if I need it.

 

[HiddenLacey]

I moved out when I was 18 and I've never moved back in even working 2 jobs when I had to. I'm pretty prideful. When it comes to my Dad's respect, I want him to be proud of me that I can do it on my own. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with living at home, that is your choice.

 

[scottredleter]

After 18, get a job and pay rent, go to school or get a job and move out. you are hurting your children if you do otherwise.

 

[Dave NoCal]

The idea that eighteen year olds can and should be totally self sufficient is culturally biased. In many world cultures young people live with their families of origin until marriage. Of course it is generally expected that they will contribute to the household through chores and preparation for the furture. I might require rent if my adult child was not doing anything productive and I would expect him/her to do a fair share of household chores regardless.
Dave

 

[TomCat84]

My folks kicked me out after 18 haha. Told me I needed to leave the nest. They still helped me out with rent if I ever needed it though

 

[tripod]

I currently rent my parent's guest house and I'm as old as dirt.

 

[luka82]

Come to Serbia....most people still live live with their parents here anyways...and NO, we do not give them rent money...but sometimes pay some bills.

 

[nudeyorker]

I moved out when I was 18. I spent the summer at home between moving from Honolulu to NYC and did not pay rent, but I was the swimming pool maintenance man that summer.

 

[D_Chode Manhammer]

i worked and went to school when i was living with my parents.

 

[petite]

After 18, get a job and pay rent, go to school or get a job and move out. you are hurting your children if you do otherwise.

I feel exactly the opposite. Placing an unreasonable financial burden on your children too early in life can keep them poor for the rest of their lives. It can ruin their lives.

I had friends who over-borrowed to go to college and get their degrees and live on their own while doing so, even while working 2-3 jobs at the same time, while their parents claimed that they were "teaching" them to be self-sufficient, and now they're still paying off college loan payments that cost 50% more than TheBoyfriend's mortgage and have never bought a house even though they're in their mid-thirties!

In the Asian community, it's exactly the opposite. Parents encourage their children to remain as debt free as possible and live at home until they leave school, or even until marriage and work and save their money. They're ready to buy a home in their early twenties. When they reach their mid-thirties, they're much more stable financially.

I've seen the results of both philosophies with my own friends. I have to say that the parents who kicked their kids out at 18 were stupid, considering where their kids ended up 20 years later.

 

[798686]

Yes - I'm paying 'em at the moment lol. They've always been supportive tho, and us kids knew we could come home if we wanted.

It's nice to have the security of the family home as back up while you're away at Uni and stuff - unless it's too easy and there's no incentive to ever move out - but it can be damaging if you leave it too long, and it seems like a bigger hurdle than it really is.

Maybe providing security while encouraging gradual independance is best? (ie: going away for college, learning to drive, staying w/friends, having a part time job or whatever while still at home - then you'll have more skills to cope when you leave).

Good thread, Mem.

 

[galaxus]

I just always assist whenever I can. They help me out, I should always help them out.... Even when I become independent.

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

I left home at 17, but as soon as I started my first proper part time job at the age of 13 or something I started contributing to my family. Even when I was in school and only working some evenings and weekends I had to give half of my pay to my family. It wasn't "rent" as such though.

 

[vince]

What is good for one family may not work so well for another. Or even from kid to kid in the same family. We've been helping our daughter as she moves towards independent living. She is in graduate school now and with the cost of living, there is no way she can go to school and earn enough to support herself. I am proud that she has no debt due to the fact the we started saving and investing for her education when she was five months old. The power of compound interest is amazing! It taught her a lesson about saving as well.

 

[NCbear]

My parents helped me out after I was 18, and I have helped them out since. But I'm NEVER going to live under their roof again. Too many control issues and too much dysfunctionality.

However, it's entirely possible in the future that one or both of my parents may need to come live with me and my man. If that happens, then I'll try to be a good landlord. :grin:

NCbear (who's thinking also of adopting children)

 

[Countryguy63]

I think that every situation is on an individual basis. There is no one rule fits all.

Seems like the people that have the strongest one sided opinion haven't had kids and don't really know what they would do in that situation.

Hell, I've got 3 yrs to go, and I'm not even sure yet

 

[Mem]

I think that every situation is on an individual basis. There is no one rule fits all.

Seems like the people that have the strongest one sided opinion haven't had kids and don't really know what they would do in that situation.

Hell, I've got 3 yrs to go, and I'm not even sure yet

Everyone has been a kid. Generally you usually tend to follow the example that was set by your family, if it was functional. Like someone said it's cultural.

 

[Bbucko]

I moved out the day after my last day of High School. My various after-school jobs paid for gas for my mother's car on the rare times I used it and I frequently bought groceries for the house, but I never paid rent per se.

 

[witch]

Do to my mom’s physical frail health because of a late start genetic disease, I stayed home to take care of her and the house while my father worked. I guess I paid rent with my labor. All my sisters were living on their own after 18.

My folks had a family law ...... no child of theirs would ever live on the streets, they were welcome to move back in during hard times

 

[D_Martin van Burden]

I would come back home for the summer while I was in undergraduate school, and my mom didn't ask me for rent money. I recall having a part-time job in high school and giving my mom money for a bill here and there, but she said that as long as I paid for my own HS stuff, that I was free to do with my paychecks what I wished. A couple of overindulgent shopping sprees when I first got a credit card, and her insistence that I pay off that debt on my own, tightened up my financial responsibility.