Didn't cum during sex

[KinG916]

A couple days ago, i didn't cum during sex with this woman for the first time in my experience. The sex lasted a little longer than an hour and i was well capable to last alot longer, but i didnt get a really good feeling during that whole time and i got bored. I dont know whether i was tired or whether i wasn't in the mood or whether she wasn't attractive enough or what happened. I heard that's a common thing for a female not to cum during sex, but for men i have no idea. For you guys, how many times don't you cum during sex?

 

[EddieAztek]

You are too hard on yourself. I like sex but I'm not cumming all the time from it. When this happens jack off for your woman and finish it yourself, like you teasing her. Hang your dick over her face and jack off in her face! She will like it!

 

[D_Sherman_Shuttlebottom]

That's really common. Try not jerking off for a few days. Also, if you're on any antidepressants, that can majorly affect your performance.

 

[Rowdy]

I am on effexor (anti-depressant) and another drug that makes me dehydrated. When I am going to have sex and I want to perform well I need to be drinking lots of water prior. Like a big bottle an hour before. Then I can cum.

Two days ago we went for an hour or more fucking and by the time it came to finish off I couldn't. My mouth was dry and I knew. All I am saying is try drinking some water. It won't hurt. It definetly helps your load if you can climax.

 

[Pecker]

It all depends on what your purpose of the act is. Over the 20 years of my former marriage I probably climaxed a little over half the time when we had sex. The great part of lovemaking to me has always been the pleasure of my partner and that doesn't necessarily require ejaculation on my part. But there are times that you do need the release.

 

[boyblushing]

It has happened to me a few times having sex without cumming. I think it was mostly because I was trying to hold out longer and longer, then I just plain got tired and lost my erection. Yea I was bumbed, but in a sense satisfied because she came and that was what mattered I guess, because sometimes I do and she dosn't so I guess its fair. Anyway the next night I made up for it as my orgasm was much more intense. So I think tiredness has a lot to do with it... for me anyway.

 

[7x6]

I suffer from this. No trouble getting it up but real trouble coming. At times over the last few years i've only come maybe one time in three or even less. If i'm up for maybe an hour I have very little chance of coming unless I stop, rest for half an hour then start again. Some women don't seem to mind when I say "it's no big deal for me, i'm still enjoying sex", others take it almost as a personal insult. It's specially difficult with multi-orgasmic women. I'm currently seeing a woman who comes every three or four minutes and it was a real big deal for her. Telling her that no woman had made me come 3 times out of 4 (like she does) since I was in my twenties didn't seem to help.

Since then i've lost a little weight and, more importantly, given up smoking. I'm now up to maybe 9 times out of 10 and even occasionally come only an hour or so after the last time. The stopping smoking also means I'm able to get hard in secconds from just a little dirty talk, a kiss, the feel of my hand on her skin or hers on mine etc. It's like being 18 again

 

[Rowdy]

Getting tired after lots of foreplay and actual sex has a lot to do with it in my case also. Stopping and starting again like you mentioned does help. It's just not always convenient.

My not cumming bothers some guys only because they want to see me shoot. So thats a bummer when I can't give them that enjoyment. I suppose there is a little pressure to do so and that makes it worse to.

 

[hung]

Yes, this does and can happen. I shot a lot of dry loads when I was an active consumer of cigarettes. Gave them up nine years ago. Now I can usually shoot a load with no problem; but as others have also indicated, sometimes an encounter results in shooting nothing. Still fun.

No problem.

 

[easybutton75]

Do you think it has to do with the woman? I think that affects me. I mean, I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 5 years last November. We have since worked out a nice friends-with-benefits situation because the sex is still so good. However, because she turns me on so much and is so good and because we are so comfortable together, I want to come almost from the moment we start and have never had a problem. Contrast this with another woman I’ve been hooking up with over the past month or so, she is sexy… probably one of the hottest chicks I’ve ever been with. But to me she’s not my ex. I can have sex with her for a lot longer than my ex because, while being hot as hell, she doesn’t move the same as my ex and I guess the comfort level just isn’t there yet. She comes several times and then asks what is wrong with me because I haven’t yet. I almost have to force it and concentrate really hard to cum. Then just last week, I did something I never thought I would do, I faked it. I just couldn’t cum, and she was getting sore because it had lasted so long. She was wet enough (dripping all over the bed) that I could play it off. For me, it definitely has to do with who the woman is.

 

[open501s]

This happens to me when I am not into the person; I am more interested in giving them the time of their life; or more interested in giving a show.

 

[jackit33747]

I've had this happen to me a few times. Gave me a lot to think about the 1st time it happened. It's better to not be able to get off then not be able to get hard. (That is for a different thread) It really screwed with one chick's head though, she acted like she had failed at sex. It was the only time I've seen the shoe on the other foot if you will. I cant's say it didn't cause me to grin and think maybe I should have faked it for her.
:34:

 

[transformer_99]

It all depends on what your purpose of the act is. Over the 20 years of my former marriage I probably climaxed a little over half the time when we had sex. The great part of lovemaking to me has always been the pleasure of my partner and that doesn't necessarily require ejaculation on my part. But there are times that you do need the release.

You guys need to work on that, if pleasing her is the goal, do that by all means, but also bust your nut as well. Don't ejaculate enough times and she may think the spark in the relationship is gone ? Something else may be wrong and then instead of just being satisfied for having sex, you'll have to sit there and talk about why it didn't go off. You may even get accused of having something on the side, it may drive her to something on the side. Wouldn't that suck if she confided in others as to what isn't happening or worse yet, some type of professional therapy ? Nope, for me, I'll make sure it happens at least once, whether or not it was the best ever. Even if it's a forced ejaculation.

 

[KinG916]

This happens to me when I am not into the person; I am more interested in giving them the time of their life; or more interested in giving a show.

i think your explanation fits my situation best. thanks for that

 

[D_Coyne Toss]

It happened to me too, and generally when sex is not completely satisfying. So I slowly lose interest in it, try to last at least until she reaches an orgasm and then stop.

I do not blame myself, but I still think it depends on me, rather than on her: I am not in the mood, or not concentrate, or just not horny.

 

[KinG916]

yeah, that makes sense. i dont know it was satisfying but i just never climaxed, it could have happened sometime but it just got boring after a while after alot of positions

 

[quercusone]

If I've been drinking I get "Numb Dick" and can fuck for hours without cumming. When I was young I thought that was cool and I didn't notice the girls limping when they ran away...hahahahaha!

 

[ben40]

if you are having trouble ejaculating, my advice is try a rear entry position... like doggy... if that still doesn't work, use your imagination. think of other hot experiences you have had with girls, or even porn... just whatever u do, don't tell her about it! haha

 

[anon265]

if you are having trouble ejaculating, my advice is try a rear entry position... like doggy... if that still doesn't work, use your imagination. think of other hot experiences you have had with girls, or even porn... just whatever u do, don't tell her about it! haha

I have to respectfully disagree, ben40 ... If you are not aroused by the person you are having sex with .... why would you be having sex with that person? Don't fantasize about other women when you are making love to her.

Our bodies are not machines ... occasionaly your body will not feel like having an orgasm. Since this is the first time, I would chalk it up as a normal part of being a guy.

If it continues, you might want to do some soul-searching. Are you aroused by your partner? Is there trouble in the non-sexual areas of the relationship? Can you orgasm without her?

 

[Riven650]

We can only speculate and let you have our own experiences but I'd say that if you come quick enough with your ex. then there's nothing physiologically wrong with you. The partner with whom you can't come knows (even if she knows nothing about you still fucking your ex.) that your mind is not with her. It will be affecting her performance. I'll turn this idea around and give you an example:

My girlfriend and I were living together. I adored her, and she me. At first the sex was great, but my old nemesis by the name of Premature Ejaculation came back to haunt me. Do you know, I had a horrible time. My self esteem slipped to an all time low. Eventually, when she came home late and didn't want sex with me, one time too many, I teased the truth out of her. She was sleeping with another guy. It transpired that she had NEVER been faithful to me. All the time I was fucking her she was thinking of these other guys and how it would break me up if I knew. With that shit going on in her head, it's no wonder she couldn't really relax and get properly into what WE were doing. Her distractedness was undermining my confidence. I was too eager to please her. It might have caused another guy to suffer impotence, but in my case I just came too soon every time, and just felt generally wretched. We separated.

But back to you:
If the girl's confidence is undermined because you are destracted because you're fucking (and/or are in love with) someone else, then I don't wonder that you don't get the same sensations as you do with your ex. Her anxiety will be preventing her from becoming fully turned on. It will be preventing her pussy from getting jiggy with your cock.

Equally, now that you have a less complicated relationship with your ex. You and she will be having great sex. I know, because (daft as it may seem) I had a second time round relationship with that girlfriend (above). 6 months of the best sex either of us had ever had, then I felt something was wrong. That distractedness was back. I got a tight feeling in my guts and asked her if she was sleeping around again. She couldn't deny it.

Just decide which girl you want and stop breaking hearts.