I'm in a new relationship with a man who is very, very different than the men I've been in relationships with before. He is very, very nice, but somehow I keep going back and forth about how I'm feeling about him. Part of me wonders if why I'm not settling in is because of my own apparent aversion to 'nice guys.' In which case, I need a kick in the butt. I really need a nice guy in my life, but of course, I've never really been interested in them - in a stupid, subconscious way of course.
But here is where I'm at from a sexual standpoint - we are just very different stylistically and I'm wondering if we are compatible long-term. He is pretty small - in fact the smallest guy I've been with (not counting one that was so small I don't count him LOL). Body size wise, he is a pretty big guy - also not what I'm used to. Not that I'm being judgemental or anything, because that really doesn't bother me. So far, the fooling around/sex has been very enjoyable and pretty much involves lots of kissing, neck, lots of breast attention, tons of extremely skilled finger action. Then the actual sex is a let down, too small to get anywhere and he only lasts about 2 minutes - maybe less. Well, I guess now I know where he gets the finger skills... And I've tried to give him a bj - which he couldn't handle for more than 2 minutes - but it is awkward because of his small size too. So here is the problem - I don't want to just always receive all of this extra attention because he has no other way to satisfy me - because that makes me feel very selfish. And I feel like I have no good way to repay the favor either. Usually I would consider myself a very giving lover - but him not being able to last 2 minutes takes that away from me. I can't give an incredible bj or show off my wicked strong pc muscles when he can't last long enough to receive it. So if he spends 20 or 30 minutes making me orgasm and squirm, then he gets 90 seconds of enjoyment, I feel pretty terrible. He says he can go multiple rounds, but he hasn't chosen to - and this weekend he stayed all night - sex in the evening, sex in the morning - same 90 seconds both times.
I don't want to be shallow, and I don't want to leave a poor guy over size or 'durability,' he doesn't deserve that. He is pretty darned good at satisfying me, but it just leaves me feeling guilty that he has to do all of that for his 2 minutes of glory. This sucks. :frown1:
But here is where I'm at from a sexual standpoint - we are just very different stylistically and I'm wondering if we are compatible long-term. He is pretty small - in fact the smallest guy I've been with (not counting one that was so small I don't count him LOL). Body size wise, he is a pretty big guy - also not what I'm used to. Not that I'm being judgemental or anything, because that really doesn't bother me. So far, the fooling around/sex has been very enjoyable and pretty much involves lots of kissing, neck, lots of breast attention, tons of extremely skilled finger action. Then the actual sex is a let down, too small to get anywhere and he only lasts about 2 minutes - maybe less. Well, I guess now I know where he gets the finger skills... And I've tried to give him a bj - which he couldn't handle for more than 2 minutes - but it is awkward because of his small size too. So here is the problem - I don't want to just always receive all of this extra attention because he has no other way to satisfy me - because that makes me feel very selfish. And I feel like I have no good way to repay the favor either. Usually I would consider myself a very giving lover - but him not being able to last 2 minutes takes that away from me. I can't give an incredible bj or show off my wicked strong pc muscles when he can't last long enough to receive it. So if he spends 20 or 30 minutes making me orgasm and squirm, then he gets 90 seconds of enjoyment, I feel pretty terrible. He says he can go multiple rounds, but he hasn't chosen to - and this weekend he stayed all night - sex in the evening, sex in the morning - same 90 seconds both times.
I don't want to be shallow, and I don't want to leave a poor guy over size or 'durability,' he doesn't deserve that. He is pretty darned good at satisfying me, but it just leaves me feeling guilty that he has to do all of that for his 2 minutes of glory. This sucks. :frown1: