Different Preferences pre/post whacking off.

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by whiteorb, Sep 28, 2009.

  1. whiteorb

    whiteorb New Member

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    My sexual preferences change drastically from before I've jacked off to after. Before, I can get SO turned on by the thought of sucking a guy. I literally get the feeling that if there was a cock right in front of my face at that moment I would not hesitate to grab it and suck until his eye balls pop out. When I come, there's no chance in hell I would want to have anything to do with a cock of any kind - at all.

    This is very problematic for me. I feel like I want to explore my sexuality and try stuff, but I am discouraged from doing it because I know that I will be 100 % (literally) turned off once I come.

    Has anyone else experienced the same thing? Any advice?

    Thanks.
     
  2. socalanfmodel

    socalanfmodel Member

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    I know exactly how you feel. I from time will watch gay porn or watch a guy whack off to get me excited (don't get me wrong straight porn is ok too). I will then let myself go and once I'm done I don't really care about watching it sometimes a bit disgusted by it.

    I have explored my sexual side though, I've had sex with girls and guys. Having sex with guys is exciting. Afterwards I dont get the same kind of feeling like when whacking off. I feel ok about it but I definitely don't stay and cuddle.

    I hope I helped, try it out.
     
  3. hud01

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    It is not unusual. I think that you may feel different when it is real, not imaginary. I always think I want to swallow my cum when jerking off, but the minute I shoot, I have no desire to do so. However, when I am in a mutual suckoff and cum first, I still want to taste the juice of the guy in front of me.

    Also, the first time you try make sure the other guy comes first if you have a concern.
     
  4. invisibleman

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    Have you ever explored the reasons why you get turned off? Are you in an highly homophobic environment? Did you have a father figure that was terribly alpha male and homophobic? That could really be rough on you and cause a psychological roadblock which affects your sexuality, as well. You could be gay or bi but don't feel free to explore the possibilities. You will have to deal with your psychological roadblocks...your homophobia...and recreate some new ways of positively viewing your sexuality. And you may have to get into some bi support groups or gay support groups. And you will have to do some proper soul searching and finally be the person you are...not what others want you to be.

    Until you do...you will never evolve to the sexual person you were meant to be. And sometimes that sexual person isn't anyone else's ideal. But it is ideal for you.
     
  5. D_Deceptivus Wrongpeter

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    This is common for mostly bisexual guys who are coming to terms with their sexual interest in men. Before you cum, your sexual instincts are speaking loud and clear: "Cock is Hot". After you cum your sexual interest collapses and now your social conditioning takes over:
    "Did I just fucking do that???"

    I went thru that phase, and it took a while to work it out, but I am glad I did.

    Something that was working in my favor is I was introduced to M/M sex by a really good buddy of mine, who you'd think was a straight as an arrow guy. We were already good friends and he introduced me slowly to it. Once I saw that I could mess around with him and nothing changed (I was still me, he was still him, and no one could tell we had sex cause the color of my tongue didn't change) you get over the social anxiety of "turning queer", or whatever the basic reservation about it is.

    More important is after we had discharged, we went back to just being buddies. We DID NOT pretend it never happened, just that we were doing something else now.
     
  6. whiteorb

    whiteorb New Member

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    Thanks for the comments so far!

    Well, some of the issues you guys bring up are what confuses me. I live in a very accepting family, there is no homophobia involved, and certainly not in my self. When I come I -wish- the excitement would still be there so I could do something about it, but I just dont feel motivated at all when the jizz is out.

    Concerning bisexuality, I would not have any problem admitting that I think cock is hot, but I have never been attracted to a guy in any other way. I only fall in love with girls (and a lot of them). Do you guys classify yourselves as bisexuals even if you are only attracted to guys on a very limited sexual level and not at all emotionally?
     
  7. hud01

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    I like cock, that is it, no topping or bottoming, no kissing, I just like to suck on an ocassional cock.

    Before you think too negatively, consider one of the things that women complain about, when he is finished he just rolls over and falls alseep.
     
  8. oacliffbuddy

    oacliffbuddy New Member

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    It's got nothing to do with bisexuality at all. Not sure what the terminology is but I'm sure it has to do with hormones and the effects of orgasm. I'm sure someone can explain it better.

    As for myself, I've experienced exactly the same thing. There have been times when I have wanted to do something seemingly erotic like eating my own cum and I build my self up to it but alas as soon as I shoot my load, forget it. About the only time I've been successful is to catch it in my hand and gobble it down before I finished shooting or coming down from that high. If not, it's over and I'm totally not interested in doing it.
     
  9. jza

    jza New Member

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    100% agree. I've been doing this for about a year or two now. It's just really hard to say that I'm bi, because I could never see myself walking down a street with a guy, and emotionally being attached to him. I could lay in my bed, watch straight porn, and have an amazing orgasm. If I'm at my computer it's gay porn, or bisexual - mmf porn.
     
  10. invisibleman

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    Well, maybe that is how you are sexually. If you are going to be sexual with men, you had better tell them about your sexuality beforehand.

    You are bisexual leaning more towards women. You don't fall in love with men...you just are interested in sex with men to a point.


     
  11. joeweekend

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    Well said, BB.

    I think another factor in all of this is the inevitable mental shut-down a guy has after he cums. You know the feeling, you just want to roll over and go to sleep - this is what women hate about us . . . LOL. When you go into that state when sex is of no further interest, social conditioning fils that space in your mind that moments before was full of thoughts of "cock, cock, cock!"

    It's not your own thoughts there, its the social thoughts you've been tapped into all your life. It's just that your thoughts on the subject have gone into post-orgasm stupor.

    I think your feelings will even out with time and experience. I know I felt intensely guilty the first couple times I made it with a guy. But I've definitely gotten over that.

    BTW: Sweet cock, whiteorb!
     
    #11 joeweekend, Sep 29, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2009
  12. gaybriel

    gaybriel Member

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    Which is more appealing to you when you are horny? Male bits or female bits?

    You said you lose interest in cock immediately after coming, so is your interest in pussy maintained immediately after blowing a load?
     
  13. WolvesInTheThroneRoom

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    My eyes, like an animals, would see in the dark to
    This is very common. Certain fetishes heighten my state of arousal, I don't need them to get aroused but once there they add a certain thrill, usually I'm thinking of these when edging. Once I come I am no longer aroused by those fetishes.
    Don't rip your psyche open to find out why, it's very common, there is no shame in it. Just don't do anything in your arousal that your un-aroused self can't handle.
     
  14. heyppl513

    heyppl513 Member

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    before i cum i have a constant hard on but after i couldnt get paid to think about a cock
     
  15. D_Tim McGnaw

    D_Tim McGnaw Account Disabled

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    You've got to remember that there is a huge difference between fantasy and reality. People ( men in particular ) can be arroused by a huge variety of different things, and people have fantasies about the most amazing and bizarre things which they would never dream of actually doing or experiencing in real life. This is normal and natural.

    Studies show that even professedly 100% heterosexual guys are arroused to one degree or another by the sight of penises ( whether they're aware of it or not ) and erotic pleasure or sexual arrousal in this situation may have nothing to do with their sexuality. It's a conditioned response, perhaps related to the fact that studies also show that men often produce more sperm when they have sex with a woman ( or a man for that matter ) in the company of another man even if they are sexually turned off by the presence of the other man and have no general sexual interest in men. There is thought to be an evolutionary reason for this.

    Now on top of this, as others have pointed out, it's perfectly normal to be as suddenly not arroused after you've cum by whatever fantasy was getting you off before you came, and you can see why you might be having this seesaw relationship with the idea of sucking a dick.

    It's not like all people who masturbate to the idea of getting beaten with a baseball bat and pissed on by a crowd of thugs would ever actually want that to happen and they might just suddenly be turned off by the idea once they had relieved the sexual arrousal created by that fantasy in the first place.


    However having said all that, some fantasies do represent a genuine desire for an actual sexual activity to happen, and in lots of cases people's fantasies are an expression of real sexual urges. The trick is not interposing any psychological barriers between yourself and your fantasies ( unless we're talking about anything non-consensual acts that is LOL ). Saying that after you cum "there's no chance in hell [you'd] want anything to do with a cock of any kind - at all" sounds like you've decided already not to be open to the idea od actually exploring what your fantasies have suggested, which is a pretty strong psychological barrier. It may be a reflection of fact but it's worth keeping an open mind and not pre-deciding the outcomes of you entire sex life before you've given every option a fair chance.

    In short, just because you get off thinking about big cocks in your mouth doesn't mean your definitely gay or bisexual or just sexually epicurean, but deciding your definitely not interested in actually exploring your fantasies before you've even explored might be denying you experiences you might find incredibly sexually fulfilling. Just keep an open mind, don't pre-judge, even if you never act on your fantasies it's better to be open to the opportunities life might throw your way than to completely deny yourself the prospect of ever taking advantage of them.



     
    #15 D_Tim McGnaw, Oct 2, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2009
  16. Oldschool79

    Oldschool79 New Member

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    I couldn't help but notice I completely agree with the guys that were listed as 80 & 90% straight, sometimes if I'm extremely horny I fantasize about other dicks. And why not? I like mine, the more the merrier right? It's perhaps a little narcissist. I would prefer guys with similar proportions to mine. And maybe a little Freudian: everybody needs some dick. And it is in fact all about the dick, no cuddling or kissing or any of that. Just about getting off. But the minute I bust, the ideas are out the window. Even the thoughts of blowing my load all over my dick and rubbing it around are out the window, I'm just concerned with not making a mess. How boring. So I know exactly what you mean.

    So my advice mirrors that of what someone else said, if you ever decide to experiment with these ideas, be sure to get the other guy (or guys) off first, that way you don't lose your desire. And let then know you're not interested in an all night love-making session, just a quickie. If you're honest and lay the rules out ahead of time people are usually very understanding.
     
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