Difficulties having enjoyable sex

jamesj

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I don´t know if this is just me, but due to having a large penis I find I need to have sex for a lot longer to be able to cum.

I remember my first time and it me taking about 2.5 hours.

I was really lucky because I had met what I´d call a marathon bottom guy who even when I did cum gave me a couple minutes break and then wanted me to start fucking him again!

Just in case you were wondering I couldn´t get it back up again so soon but I´ll proceed to my question.

Is there anything I can do to make myself be able to cum any sooner. It´s really affecting my sex life as most people are in about the 10-15 min range. I even met a Canadian guy who came with about a minute of me penetrating him.

It´s a shame I couldn´t keep up things with the guy I met. I just found him a bit girly and I guess we just fell out of contact given we were living in different cities.

Just as an aside, I don´t have problems with girly guys, it´s just that I would want to be with a women if I want to experience a girly side.

I hope my question is not too awkard and not too graphic too.

I await your responses and please if there was anything I hadn´t been so clear about ask me again and I´ll clarify.

Best,

James
 

sumyungguy

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It may just be you, could be psychological or physical. Fact is the length it takes to get off varies for everyone. If I were you I'd probably let my partner focus more on touching and sucking me and less time on fucking them. Save that for last, that way you'll be closer to getting off without having to build up to that point.
 

green carnation

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My penis is bigger than yours. I think that is all you need to worry about!

I'm not worried about my penis size. I asked you that question to gain some more insight into your way of thinking as I too suspected it was for psychological reasons you were not enjoying sex. After your response here and your stupid visitor message to me, and indeed this entire thread you started, I would suspect it is a mix of personality, behaviour and something psychological that stops you enjoying sex, poor you it must be awful not enjoying sex. Anyway its probably easier to blame your dick size.

And finally, I know i don't have a large dick so I never claim to have one, unlike some.
 

jusright

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It seems to have become a little personal. The odd word can change how a message was initially intended....but sticking to the topic. You'd be better off getting information from a sex therapist not here tbh. There are plenty of articles about it online. Though a quick fix solution may not work for u depending on your own Apersonal circumstances. Most sex issues are psychological in men who aren't old. Whether it premature , erectile or lasting too long. Non of that is related to size. When u jerk off do last as long? If it's quicker that s a good sign. Either way u can work on it.
The usual advice would be not to stress over it, to focus on non- penetration and build up to it over a period of time. Also look at yr attitude to sex or partners. Some of these strategies to be honest aren't gonna work with a casual hook up.
If it's that serious and has affected you long term get a referral from a GP or pay a therapist direct and deal with the root cause . Good luck :)
 

Fenris11

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Hey James,
Do you find it takes you a long time to cum when you have a wank or is it just during intercourse?

It is worth doing other things to get you close or at least closer such as more sucking, wanking, kissing etc before penetration.
Could also be a case of different positions to give you or the bottom more control.
Also this could be effected if you are taking some medications, there are also things like Viagra which will increase your sensitivity, there are also creams you can get in sex shops that increase sensitivity. Just be careful with there in case they cause irritation. Or if there is too much on your mind, if you are thinking or worried about taking to long or not cumming. Just enjoy the feeling of what you are doing and clear anything else from your mind. It is easier said than done, I know this

Hope this helps.
Best of luck dude!
 

dirkjesje

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Hey James,
Do you find it takes you a long time to cum when you have a wank or is it just during intercourse?

It is worth doing other things to get you close or at least closer such as more sucking, wanking, kissing etc before penetration.
Could also be a case of different positions to give you or the bottom more control.
Also this could be effected if you are taking some medications, there are also things like Viagra which will increase your sensitivity, there are also creams you can get in sex shops that increase sensitivity. Just be careful with there in case they cause irritation. Or if there is too much on your mind, if you are thinking or worried about taking to long or not cumming. Just enjoy the feeling of what you are doing and clear anything else from your mind. It is easier said than done, I know this

Hope this helps.
Best of luck dude!
Sorry to correct, but Viagra doesn t increase sensitivity. It will get you an erection, but will decrease for many men the sensivity during the activity.
Creams can however help, but be carefull - creams based on "menthol" will decrease also sensivity. ( example - with a fishermen's friend in your mouth - suck any dick - it will take hours... )
Any alcohol has the same effect, it will delay your orgasm.
For many drugs the same, like coke.
 

Fenris11

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Sorry to correct, but Viagra doesn t increase sensitivity. It will get you an erection, but will decrease for many men the sensivity during the activity.
Creams can however help, but be carefull - creams based on "menthol" will decrease also sensivity. ( example - with a fishermen's friend in your mouth - suck any dick - it will take hours... )
Any alcohol has the same effect, it will delay your orgasm.
For many drugs the same, like coke.

I agree with alcohol and illicit drugs decreasing sensitivity and ability but Viagra increases blood flow to the penis therefore increasing sensitivity
 

aschlong

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My hunch is that you need to really be turned on by whoever you're with! I've been in situations where I couldn't get hard or it would take me ages to cum - so I panicked - but just two minutes with a hot stud and then there was 'NO' problem. We are not sex machines, we are meant to feel the longing of sexual attraction - you'll be fine!

Yeah guys coming after only ten seconds of me fucking them was making me jealous, and one hint of a camp voice would make my cock soft and refuse to play! x
 

jamesj

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It may just be you, could be psychological or physical. Fact is the length it takes to get off varies for everyone. If I were you I'd probably let my partner focus more on touching and sucking me and less time on fucking them. Save that for last, that way you'll be closer to getting off without having to build up to that point.

Hmm, I can take this onboard although I do think the anal penetration is my favourite part.
 

jamesj

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It seems to have become a little personal. The odd word can change how a message was initially intended....but sticking to the topic. You'd be better off getting information from a sex therapist not here tbh. There are plenty of articles about it online. Though a quick fix solution may not work for u depending on your own Apersonal circumstances. Most sex issues are psychological in men who aren't old. Whether it premature , erectile or lasting too long. Non of that is related to size. When u jerk off do last as long? If it's quicker that s a good sign. Either way u can work on it.
The usual advice would be not to stress over it, to focus on non- penetration and build up to it over a period of time. Also look at yr attitude to sex or partners. Some of these strategies to be honest aren't gonna work with a casual hook up.
If it's that serious and has affected you long term get a referral from a GP or pay a therapist direct and deal with the root cause . Good luck :)

Hey dude,

Thanks for responding to me.

I just don´t get what is with that guy, cos every time he wrote at me it felt like there was an element of sarcasm even though he claims it isn´t the case. I´d probably have answered his questions if it were someone else, I just don´t feel he was trying to help.

I´ll do some online searching though I had thought it would be tricky to word my search to something that would be along the lines of what I am trying to answer

Unfortunately with jerking it isn´t really a quicker process. To be honest, I approached here because I saw all kinds of outlandish questions so I didn´t think I could be frowned upon anymore than they for asking.

I would be mortified to go to a doctor or GP with this hence felt here was a good place. (Secretly I am also hoping to come across someone who can doctor me :wink:).
 

jamesj

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My hunch is that you need to really be turned on by whoever you're with! I've been in situations where I couldn't get hard or it would take me ages to cum - so I panicked - but just two minutes with a hot stud and then there was 'NO' problem. We are not sex machines, we are meant to feel the longing of sexual attraction - you'll be fine!

Yeah guys coming after only ten seconds of me fucking them was making me jealous, and one hint of a camp voice would make my cock soft and refuse to play! x

Hmm, I normally find that I can meet with a guy that turns me on. Though it will normally boil down to endurance. I think Duracell guys are in the minority. I will panic if I feel that the guy I am with is not coping very well with riding me.

Lol, at you feeling turned off at a camp voice. So its not only me ;-)
 

Stephenmass

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Length of time cumming and your dick size have no correlation to one another. What may be happening (I agree with most of the board here) is that it took you a long time a few times and now you think about it DURING penetration. I'd say just try to relax more and don't focus on how long. It's possible you are not getting the friction you need either. Some guys take a long time on anal, and a long time when getting blown too. I do agree that jacking off though usually is much shorter. If you don't mind going for 2.5 hours or however long it takes, just take the focus off the time and enjoy your time with whoever you are with. Also finding a good rhythm that your cock enjoys and maintaining that same rhythm does wonders sometimes too. Constantly changing up doesn't give the cock time to feel the sensations. It could be many things but trust me, your cock size has absolutely no correlation.
 

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Just like there is a natural variation in penis size from one man to the next, there is a variation in sensitivity as well. Some men naturally need a lot of stimulation to have an orgasm, and some men need very little. I'm sure that just like practicing to last longer, you can find some way to get off easier when you're with a partner who can't last as long as you can.