Dilemma

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by TotallyAddicted, Feb 14, 2006.

  1. TotallyAddicted

    TotallyAddicted New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2006
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    I've recently taken a break from my boyfriend whom I had been going out with for almost a year. 2 weeks ago he asked me to move in with him, and I said I needed some time to think about it as it is quite a serious commitment and I wasn't sure if I was ready yet. I told him that I wanted to be away from him for a couple of weeks and take a break from the relationship and then let him know if I'm going to move in with him. During this time I met another guy and have been with him almost every night for the past 2 weeks! You see, BF or the ex-BF was never able to give me the kind of sex that I dreamed of.. in fact that's the one area of relationship that was a real problem. We got along great and had a good friendship but sexually he just wasn't that much at all.. only 5 inches, could hardly do it more than once a day, and often could not last till orgasm. Maybe the fact that he's Asian had something to do with all that. Anyway for the 10 months we'd been going out I'd been putting up with that..

    But this new guy.. WOW!! I met him at my gym 2 weeks ago and we went on a date and now I find myself unable to stay away from him at all! I'd like to think that I'm not shallow, but his cock is about 9 inches and really really thick too and he can go all night every night if he wanted to. We've just been having the most amazing sex and he just feels sooo much better inside me. We get along pretty good but of course in 2 weeks haven't been able to get to know each other as well as me and BF did over 9 months. However there's just so much potential there.. sex is such an important part of a relationship to me and when the guy's that much bigger and can go much longer and more frequent, it just adds so much to the relationship knowing that I'm sexually satisfied and physically happy all the time with him.. other parts of the relationship could just take care of themselves, you know?


    So pretty soon I need to tell the BF that I had put on hold what my decision is, to his request that I move in with him. What should I do?? I know that I'll want the new guy even if I went back to BF and moved in with him. I'd probably be much happier with the new guy.. sexually at the very least. What should I do?? Should I feel the guilt that I'm feeling, even though I did put us on hold so I wasn't cheating on him.
     
  2. RideRocket

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Messages:
    3,247
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Alexandria (VA, US)
    First off, welcome to the group! Second, race has nothing to do with penis size. Your ex is right about average, asian or not.

    Be honest and tell your ex-bf that you won't be moving in with him, things won't work out, and that it's time to move on from your relationship. It's up to you if you want to tell him about the new guy, but I would definitely not bring up the sex issue (either size and/or performance - or lack thereof).

    Nine months is a long relationship to move on from, but if that's you in your avatar, then you are still young (and gorgeous btw :biggrin1: ). Two weeks is a short time, but if the sexual chemistry is there, you have a foundation to grow from.

    I've always been a firm believer that people shouldn't get committed to long relationships at an early age. Go out, have fun, and live life. Then when you've matured,know yourself, and know what you want, then look for a serious relationship.

    _____________
    I'm available for 'free' advice...
     
  3. Fredneck1951

    Fredneck1951 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2005
    Messages:
    128
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Virginia
    Welcome aboard, if you want lots of free advice you've come to the right place! This board prospers by having women resident, and let me add you are going to improve the appearance of things here, assuming that's you in your avatar.

    Anytime a woman doesn't say "yes" to an offer/proposition/proposal most guys will take it as "no", or they should. When a woman needs time to "think about it" and she DOES say "yes", the guy will always wonder what's she really thinking, is she just "settling"?

    You can mention you've met someone, but you're not bound to do that. You should NOT mention anything with regard to the superior sex. Let your "ex" know you're not ready yet, he's a great guy, etc. and move on.

    RideRocket's advice is good, should you wish to take it.
     
  4. naughtynymph

    naughtynymph New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2006
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    england
    Hi TotallyAddicted,
    Welcome and hope you enjoy the site, you did the right thing by not moving in with your BF that would have been a huge mistake.
    I am glad that you have found someone who can satisfy you sexually, although you know hardly anything about each other you have plenty of time to find out. The one thing you do need to do though is make a clean break with your BF, I agree with the other members that you should not tell him about his inadequacies in the bedroom. If this is the only problem you have with your BF please let him down gently.
    I wish you luck and continued satisfaction in your new relationship. :smile:

    Naughty. :tongue:
     
  5. windtalkerways

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2006
    Messages:
    2,116
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Canada
    I agree...'taking a break' translates to
    "how do I let him down without hurting
    him because he is a nice guy?"

    Sex IS very important and I'll bet you
    already had your mind made up but
    wanted confirmation and now you have
    it!
     
  6. nouveau

    nouveau New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2006
    Messages:
    171
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Do you love the origional bf? Get to know the second one, if you click, go for him.
     
  7. davidjh7

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    2,714
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    seattle
    Welcome to the group. You have already made your decision. You want the new guy, and your BF, or, really, EX BF at this point, is never going to be satisfying to you again. He may be the best person in the world, but you have made a choice. Be strong enough to admit it and move on. Be honest, but not cruel, with your ex. Tell him that you took your needed break, and made your decision that your relationship with him wasn't working out. If he insists on pressing for a reason why, tell him honestly that you met someone else who you felt was more compatable. And leave it at that. NOW--if the new guy over the long term turns out to be incompatable, or an asshole, or a loser in some way, do NOT demand your ex come crawling back to you. As I said, you made a choice--live with it--and let your ex go. He has a right to get on with his life as well, and find someone who is happy with him as he is. Don't interfere with that, or be selfish and try and use him for the things you liked about him, while having a sexual or full relationship with the other guy. I have known far too many women that have had the nice guy as the provider/shoulder/supporter, then gone out and cheated with the hung and hot bad boy jerk on the side, and for some reason were suprised that the nice guy dared be offended or hurt by it. Do the right thing for both of you, and let your ex go. I hope the new guy is great in all the other aspects of your relationship as well, and I wish you the best of happiness. I wish teh same for your ex. Good luck!!
     
  8. TotallyAddicted

    TotallyAddicted New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2006
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Actually you're quite right there, he's certainly not big and a lot smaller than the guy I just met, but he's not the smallest I've had either.. that belonged to a white guy lol.

    After making the post though, I did some thinking and realized that part of my anxiety with the Ex also stems from that fact that while we do get along fine and he is decent to me, he just has way too many things on his agenda. He's working, studying, and has other commitments as well. Maybe that's why he's always tired and didn't perform satisfactorily sexually with me. I just don't want to move in with him because it's a serious move in a relationship and if he's not focusing on me and I'm also not getting "it" then I can see problems on the horizon.. and problems are a lot harder to deal with if you're living with someone!
     
  9. 11incher

    11incher New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2004
    Messages:
    52
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    new york
    You answered you own question. Time to move on to bigger and better things!
     
  10. Pappy

    Pappy Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2004
    Messages:
    2,416
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Outta Here
    Sorry, but bigger does not always mean better! My partner and I broke up because he was caught cheating. I have a new interest now that is so much better sexually than the former ever was, and the new is smaller, not by much but still smaller.
     
  11. Sexychick517

    Sexychick517 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2006
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    That's not a good idea lol :)
     
  12. Lordpendragon

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2004
    Messages:
    3,880
    Likes Received:
    1
    Sorry - I just don't swallow this.
     
  13. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Messages:
    5,361
    Likes Received:
    6
    Hello and welcome. I think you already know what you're going to do, but please...don't bring up penis size. That's about the cruelest thing a lady can do to a man.
     
  14. 11incher

    11incher New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2004
    Messages:
    52
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    new york
    When I said "bigger and better things" I ment everything not just the size of his cock.
     
  15. D_Cliebert_Chodechoker

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2005
    Messages:
    321
    Likes Received:
    2
  16. Gisella

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    4,872
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    I do agree !!!

    & the next ones going in relationships with the "smaller" guy will pay a great price for that. Seems "they" remember the cruelest words someone said in the past doesn't matter that u say U are satysfied by him. I know because i lived this situation.:rolleyes:
     
Draft saved Draft deleted