dirty talk: what DOESN'T work for you?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by voyeuristic, Nov 24, 2008.

  1. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    Most of the guys I've been with refuse to indulge in it because they feel awkward or don't think they're good at it...I have to say that it's hard for me to understand. (It's true that working as a phone sex operator for over a year helped me hone my skills, but it's also true that I was a natural from the get-go.) The thing is, I'd rather someone refuse to do it than try it only to sound completely ridiculous...people who are good at their game are the biggest turn-on ever, but silence is a lot sexier than botched attempts. I do realize this makes it hard for people who want to learn to "get better".

    What phrases/words instantly make you soft/dry? My turn-offs:

    - talk about "making love", or otherwise expressing overwrought emotional sentiments that aren't really appropriate for a fuck-buddy situation with someone I hardly know (though honestly, those two words are icky even with a long-term partner)

    - calling my vagina anything associated with a garden: this isn't the Georgia O'Keefe exhibit

    - when a guy who is NOT hung acts like he is and says something like "You can't wait for my massive cock, huh?" I guess I'll have to, because you don't have one. This is not to say that smaller guys can't verbally entice me with their goods, but better to focus on something that's real - how hard it is, how full your nuts are, etc.

    - attempts to sound intellectual by bringing way too many fifty cent words into the bedroom. I'm a smart girl, but save the thesaurus for your doctoral dissertation.

    I'm sure I'll think of a few more, but I'm curious to hear from others!
     
  2. Enid

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    I would have to add to the above (all of which I agree are turn-offs):

    - being humiliated verbally. It leaves me flat cold.
     
  3. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    Chrissy - I think there's a fine line between making someone feel like a filthy slut (which I personally enjoy) and "humiliating" them through insults in a way that can fuck up the dynamic permanently...and if people don't know how to walk that line deftly, they're probably better avoiding it outright.

    Anyone else?
     
  4. alphaattorney

    alphaattorney New Member

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    Love to talk dirty! You ladies should hit me up! 26m DC...youd be pleased.
     
  5. MovingForward

    MovingForward Member

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    I like it, but I was fucking one gay and he was like " Yeah, give me that big N**er dick" I was like wtf. I don't mind dirty talk but never bring my race into it.
     
  6. Principessa

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    Yup, and don't call me your, bitch or your black bitch either. :12:
     
  7. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    Don't call me a whore or my pretty pussy a cunt. Other than that, go ahead and be as raunchy as you want, but don't cry when you get it right back.
     
  8. Xcuze

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    Oh please! You cant be all sensitive & PC during Dirtytalk fuck action!

    Clearly you dont get it...:rolleyes:



    ps; Ive seen a lot of thugporn & the word Nigger comes up ALL THE TIME.. The fact you cant even write it in your post is just sad. A word is just a word...stop giving it such power!
     
  9. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    Jenn - now see I don't mind "whore" or "cunt" at all; in fact I really like hearing them.

    As far as race stuff goes, I think one should always err on the side of caution - seems like the only appropriate time would be if a person of color indicates that they get off on racial humiliation/degradation, and even then I personally would have a hard time going there. Then again, I like rape-play fantasies, and that's not exactly the most PC thing out there either...
     
  10. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    I remember as a pso I got this call from this black guy who wanted me to call him nigger a million times. I couldn't do it.
     
  11. Domisoldo

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    Grammatically-incorrect German in discipline role-playing.
     
  12. Xcuze

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    Give him my number - Ill do it!

    I do a mean Miss Piggy impersonation...
     
  13. rob_just_rob

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    None of it works for me. I'm not saying she has to be dead silent, but anything more nuanced than "ohh, that feels good" or "a little higher (lower) (harder) (faster)!" is lost on me. Plus, I'll sometimes feel like I have to reciprocate, when I really just want to enjoy what I'm doing.
     
  14. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I am point blank horrible at dirty talking.
     
  15. sparky11point5

    sparky11point5 New Member

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    Don't call me 'Daddy', it skeeves me out!
     
  16. cason

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    I'm open to wherever it goes as long as it doesn't just sound like lines lifted from a porn scene. Be as dirty as you like, say what gets you off but say it because you feel it. Be comfortable and confident with what you're saying. That's all. It's hard for some, and understandably so. You have to go with it completely or not at all. For exactly the reasons this thread's discussing. Like everything to do with sexuality, if you're yourself and are confident you are dripping sex, it works, so, most importantly, you need to know you're both on the same page about it. Discussing your turn offs is a good idea so the needle doesn't slide off the record. Then you're free to get nasty. lol.


    This reminds me of Cris Rock's bit on what not to do when talking dirty. :biggrin1:

    YouTube - Chris Rock Bigger And Blacker Part 12
     
  17. naughty

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    Anything repetitive, unimaginative or insulting. I dont get off on humiliating others or having it done to me. I think the biggest turn on is to be able to help the other person visualize what you may be doing or what you want to have done. If it does legitimately lead to you, he or she making corresponding grunts or groans all the better... But the qualifying word it legitimate.
     
  18. elwoodfest

    elwoodfest New Member

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    I have a couple of comments here :eek:
    I have one girl that loves to be called a slut. she loves being dominated and everything that goes along with it. but tactfully... you can dominate without being completely humiliating, there are boundries and sometims you have to talk them through.

    I have one other girl that always wanted 3 somes but is way to shy. So as a compramise, while we're into it i get her to tell me about old flings she's had. I'm a bit of an anomaly in that get hugely turned on hearing about x's so it works for both of us. (I ended up marrying that girl) it's strange the things you find out you like if you open your mind lol!

    my 2 cents... BTW I'm thinking of starting another thread so women can tell about their best incounters :yup:
     
  19. whatireallywant

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    Me too. I've been with guys who are into it and want me to talk dirty too but I'm not good at it, and I find it distracting. I just want to be "in the moment" and not feel pressured to say anything (I will show that I like what's happening, though... lots of oooh, yeses and stuff like that.)
     
  20. AlteredEgo

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    Yes he can, and so can NJQT and I! Are we judging each other about our likes and dislikes? I don't want race brought up during sex either. It's distracting and completely unsexy for me. I don't particularly like when clients have racial fantasies either, though I'll still take their money.

    A past lover used to like our contrasting skin color, and tell me how beautiful he thought my brown skin was. Telling me I'm beautiful during sex is always sexy! He knew how to walk the fine line between making me feel like an exotic side-show freak or otherwise degrading me, and pointing out our differences in an appealing way.

    I'm not interested in everything I see in porn, I don't think life needs to imitate porn, and I don't need your permission to chose my own likes and dislikes. Neither does anyone else.
     
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