Disaster with my bulge today

[Mercurygirl]

I almost got to the end of that but had to stop at the 7-10 year old underwear part.

Gross.

 

[wallyj84]

I almost got to the end of that but had to stop at the 7-10 year old underwear part.

Gross.

I know it is gross, but it is just too depressing to buy new underwear.

 

[wallyj84]

I know it is gross, but it is just too depressing to buy new underwear.

Also, I keep them washed. I don't ever use dirty underwear.

 

[Mercurygirl]

I know it is gross, but it is just too depressing to buy new underwear.

As opposed to stuffing your "ratty, filled with holes" underwear with socks?

Also, I keep them washed. I don't ever use dirty underwear.

Got it. Now if you'll excuse me I feel compelled to go and pour beach in my eyes.

 

[ronin001]

Wally, I see you are online.
Go to Amazom, ( Men Underwear ) click, click you can have a delivery in just over 24 hours depending where you live.

 

[wallyj84]

Wally, I see you are online.
Go to Amazom, ( Men Underwear ) click, click you can have a delivery in just over 24 hours depending where you live.

I already went to Wal-Mart and bought more.

It was hard to do that, but I know I had to. I almost broke down and cried in the store. That's how difficult it is for me.

 

[twoton]

An update.

I took the rest of the day off. I am currently at home. I just don't know what to do. Should I go into work tomorrow?

First answer a few questions:
1. Did anyone else see what happened?
2. I was going to ask if you have replacement underwear and see that you do.
3. Do you have appropriate socks to use as stuffing? Or were they lost during the incident?
4. Will you be able to use the men's room if you need to? Or will it be a trigger?

You can answer here, or just keep it to yourself. Whatever feels more safe and secure for you.

 

[Mercurygirl]

I already went to Wal-Mart and bought more.

It was hard to do that, but I know I had to. I almost broke down and cried in the store. That's how difficult it is for me.

FADE IN:

INT. WALMART - DAY

A sad man-child with a concave crotch stands alone in a aisle of the menswear department weeping into a multipack of Fruit of the Looms underwear.

Upon walking into view of this utterly pathetic display a concerned mother quickly pulls her child away from the disturbing scene.

Unfortunately the child has already seen too much ...

CHILD: "Mommy, why was that strange man crying on those underpant-es?"

MOTHER: "Remember after Uncle Dale got drunk and fell off the roof onto his head, how all he wants to do now is sing happy birthday and play with roadkill? He's like that honey only with underpants."



FADE TO BLACK

 

[wallyj84]

FADE IN:

INT. WALMART - DAY

A sad man-child with a concave crotch stands alone in a aisle of the menswear department weeping into a multipack of Fruit of the Looms underwear.

Upon walking into view of this utterly pathetic display a concerned mother quickly pulls her child away from the disturbing scene.

Unfortunately the child has already seen too much ...

CHILD: "Mommy, why was that strange man crying on those underpant-es?"

MOTHER: "Remember after Uncle Dale got drunk and fell off the roof onto his head, how all he wants to do now is sing happy birthday and play with roadkill? He's like that honey only with underpants."



FADE TO BLACK

I know that what I'm saying seems silly to you, but it's a real concern for me.
I enjoy your sense of humor, but I wish you could sometimes look at things from my perspective and have some empathy for my problems.

 

[edonline]

 

[wd656166248]

This made my day.

 

[Igot8here]

How the hell do you even fit 7 socks in your underwear?

 

[wallyj84]

How the hell do you even fit 7 socks in your underwear?

You don't. That was the problem.

Like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun and was punished for my arrogance.

I will take tomorrow off and try to figure out what to do from here. I might have to change jobs.

 

[Exbiker]

Hmm.

Necessity is the mother of invention ...

Are you fit, Wally? Do you have OK body - muscled torso, pecs, glutes, etc.? If not, maybe a little gym work might be necessary ...

I'm thinking of employing you to serve drinks and canapés at my gay Christmas parties.

You'd strut around in a bulging thong, offering refreshments and a few pleasant conversations. My friends will adore you.

And then at midnight you'd lay down on a table and everyone would count down "Ten! Nine! Eight! ...." until at the stroke of midnight your underpants would be timed to explode, and socks in a dozen pastel colours would be blasted across the room like confetti.

I think we'll play the 'Troika' from Prokofiev's 'Lieutenant Kije' at that point, but I don't want to be too obvious. You know?

 

[halcyondays]

Thanks for the laugh!

You went a sock too far.

 

[Galloper]

So, is wally who keeps sock companies out of bankrupcy

 

[someperson]

As opposed to stuffing your "ratty, filled with holes" underwear with socks?



Got it. Now if you'll excuse me I feel compelled to go and pour beach in my eyes.

That is not the worst thing to happen the other day my huge dick ripped a hole in my new pair on underwear.. I only wore it 3 times or so.. morning wood boners = ripped underwear

 

[someperson]

You don't. That was the problem.

Like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun and was punished for my arrogance.

I will take tomorrow off and try to figure out what to do from here. I might have to change jobs.

Just buy some new ones off of wal-mart.com no need to go into a store

 

[wallyj84]

Hmm.

Necessity is the mother of invention ...

Are you fit, Wally? Do you have OK body - muscled torso, pecs, glutes, etc.? If not, maybe a little gym work might be necessary ...

I'm thinking of employing you to serve drinks and canapés at my gay Christmas parties.

You'd strut around in a bulging thong, offering refreshments and a few pleasant conversations. My friends will adore you.

And then at midnight you'd lay down on a table and everyone would count down "Ten! Nine! Eight! ...." until at the stroke of midnight your underpants would be timed to explode, and socks in a dozen pastel colours would be blasted across the room like confetti.

I think we'll play the 'Troika' from Prokofiev's 'Lieutenant Kije' at that point, but I don't want to be too obvious. You know?

You're back. Still interested in that story?

 

[inspectordickins]

Man you should post it on 4chan that's some dank green text material