Discomfort Watching Guys "Doing" It

B_Hung Jon

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Does 'vulnerable' = 'submissive' in this usage, Hung Jon?

Thanks for this question. What I notice in guy/guy porn is that the people seem to be more equal. It seems to be true for lesbian stuff too. This is just my take on this. Maybe it is just that two individuals don't have to take on any roles. I don't think that any girl/guy porn does this where the guy is more equal with the girl. Is this my imagination or what? The times when I've actually made love with a guy it's felt different than being with a female. This might seem obvious to others but it's something I'm more aware of recently.

And no "vulnerable" doesn't mean submissive to me. It means that you can tell on a person's face that they're more emotionally open to the other person. I never noticed this in porno before.
 

hot-rod

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Dude, guy-on-guy porn is so GAY!!!

Heh, in all honesty, gay porn makes me cringe a bit, you're not alone - to each their own, but it's certainly not my cup of tea.
Yeah, this is kinda the way I feel about straight sex, not my 'cup o tea' either, quess we have to have it to make more babys right? LOL
 

Perriwinkle52

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104055

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I just cant get enough of gay porn and have even gone into gay clubs by myself in the hope I can watch guys kissing ....
YUM. maybe thats a girl thing though xxx
 

Meniscus

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...Watching guys have sex is an intense experience because it appears one is submitting completely to the other...

I don't think that always the case--to me the guys often appear to be equals--but when it is, I agree with what you say next:

...If a guy bottoms or sucks off another man then it's his choice to do so. The man who is topping or getting sucked is actually the one who is submitting. He's allowing control of the experience to pass from himself to the man who is allowing penetration. If the receiver did not want to do these things then he would not do them and the act would not take place. If a guy is getting fucked then it's his choice to get fucked. If a guy is sucking another guy then it's his choice to suck.

With straight porn there's a tendency to automatically equate female with submissive and male with dominant. When we see men take on the apparently passive role there's a little shock to our expectations of what role the male should take. That's a socio-culturally loaded expectation...

Hence the root of homophobia/heterosexism is in sexism. The problem society has with gay men isn't that we find masculinity attractive, it's the mistaken perception that we are submitting to another man, therey accepting the lesser (submissive, inferior) role of a woman, and in the process sacrificing our own masculinity rather than cultivating it.

If society actually had respect for traditionally feminine roles, and saw them as equally important and valuable as traditionally male roles, no one would have an issue with guys who suck dick or get fucked...or men who raise children, cook dinner, and choose careers allowing them to take supportive, nurturing roles rather than competitive ones.

It's a whole lot more complex than that, of course. Entire books have been written on the subject and there's still plenty of fertile territory for analysis. That's the best I could do in 2 short paragraphs.
 

Meniscus

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...I know i am pretty particular about the straight porn i watch because it seems like so much of it is demeaning to women. I get turned off when I think the woman is not enjoying it. Whereas some guys enjoy it being all about them, or being in total power and forcing themselves on a chick.

Agreed.

Thanks for this question. What I notice in guy/guy porn is that the people seem to be more equal...

That's exactly what I was thinking.

...[In gay porn the] two individuals don't have to take on any roles. I don't think that any girl/guy porn does this where the guy is more equal with the girl. Is this my imagination or what?

Nope, it's not your imagination.

The times when I've actually made love with a guy it's felt different than being with a female.

Hmm...maybe it means nothing but it's interesting that you said "female" instead of "woman" or even "girl."

I can't comment on how making love to a man differs from making love to a women, since I've never been with a woman, but I'd like to think that real-life hetero relationships are more equal than what I've seen in straight porn.

Maybe you should consider the circumstances surrounding your encounters with other men compared to your encounters with women. Who are the guys you've "made love" to? Were they friends? Were they people you know and like and respect? People you consider to be your equals?

What about the women you've been with? Were they girlfriends? Women you were in a serious relationship with? Or were they mostly casual hook-ups? If you compare your relationships with your male lovers to your relationships with your female lovers, you may find some clues as to why the sex feels different. (Other than the obvious differences of different body parts being involved.)

And no "vulnerable" doesn't mean submissive to me. It means that you can tell on a person's face that they're more emotionally open to the other person. I never noticed this in porno before.

Well, it's not in all gay porn all the time by any means. A lot of the guys in gay porn just treat each other like meat. But you see this sort of openness more often in gay porn than in straight porn. I don't know if I've ever seen it in straight porn. Gay porn often seems like it's just two regular guys really enjoying being together. They're just having some fun and doing what feels good, and they generally seem to regard each other as equals. (As Jason pointed out, it often seems like one guy is submitting to the other guy, but it's either a culturally biased misinterpretation of what's going on, or it's deliberate role-playing because some people are turned on by that.) You get the sense that whatever they're doing on screen, off-screen they could be friends. Even if they aren't romantically involved with each other, you can imagine them spending time together hanging out together, having a beer, shooting some pool, joking around, etc.
 

mountainguy

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Dude, guy-on-guy porn is so GAY!!!

Heh, in all honesty, gay porn makes me cringe a bit, you're not alone - to each their own, but it's certainly not my cup of tea.

Thanks for the good laugh, Kazooplayer.

It makes total sense to me that people will only be attracted to the type of porn that mirrors their sexual orientation. As a gay male, I find gay porn to be hot. But I wouldn't expect straight guys to be turned on by it in the least, nor am I as gay man turned on by straight porn.

Oddly enough, I have heard of some lesbians who enjoy watching gay male porn. I thought it was a joke at first, but a female friend of mine swears that it's true.
 

bigbull29

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I'm wanting to hear other peeps opinion on this issue. I haven't seen that many guys having sex with each other but when I have I feel self-conscious as fuck. I've seen some guy-on-guy porn and I always feel a little uncomfortable watching it. They look so vulnerable being together intimately. Do you think this is a homophobic reaction or just my own fear? I don't care what other people do sexually with each other, but watching it feels strange sometimes. Thanks.
:biggrin1:

You feel what you feel. No apologies need to be made. It's just that seeing men being intimate with other men makes you uncomfortable because its culturally taboo. Remember, we are products of our cultures. If you can see things "void of your culture", then, my friend, you're an enlightened one.

I don't get aroused by gay porn for every often, but I love to hang out with gay men in tribal house clubs. Do I need to justify not liking gay porn? No.
Gay porn is fascinating to study, though.:wink:
 

zumzum

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I've seen some guy-on-guy porn and I always feel a little uncomfortable watching it.

Don't worry I agree with you, there are too many crap guy-on-guy porn movies around.

They look so vulnerable being together intimately.

Ok I was playing funny, first of all I've to say congratulations, being a straight, to have the balls to watch a guy-on-guy porn (really there's so much crap around and I doubt you can choose the right one!!), and most of all you've got the balls to discuss with us about that.

Why do you think they look so vulnerable?

Which movies have you watched?

I'm gay, and I like porn, but, and this time I say it seriously, I don't like most of the stuff, I don't like the hairy bald hunk guys banging each other, I don't like queeny movies, I don't like bears.

I like Bel Ami movies (smooth fit beautiful eastern european <30yo guys), Cadinot (French) or contemporary english porn movies (Rudeboyz, and some stuff from eurocreme, blabla), first of all I love real amateur stuff.

There are a lot of freak stuff I don't like at all like sadomaso, leather, bears, boots, rubber, bondage, spanking, pissing.

Do you think this is a homophobic reaction or just my own fear?

I don't think your is a homophobic reaction, usually the homophobic reaction is patronizing, condemning it, inciting hatred and asking to get rid the world of homosexuals in a nazi way.

You're just curious, and you just don't like it because you are straight.

Perhaps you would feel vulnerable in that situation but believe me, as long it's consensual, bottom guys are eager of doing what they do and they like it.

I don't care what other people do sexually with each other, but watching it feels strange sometimes. Thanks.
:biggrin1:

Because you're straight.

Well, I'm homosexual but I enjoy straight porn too, I just watch the guys only :p
 

B_Think_Kink

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Thanks for the good laugh, Kazooplayer.

It makes total sense to me that people will only be attracted to the type of porn that mirrors their sexual orientation. As a gay male, I find gay porn to be hot. But I wouldn't expect straight guys to be turned on by it in the least, nor am I as gay man turned on by straight porn.

Oddly enough, I have heard of some lesbians who enjoy watching gay male porn. I thought it was a joke at first, but a female friend of mine swears that it's true.
I'm bisexual but I only actively watch gay porn... straight stuff is soooo boring.
 

scottbud

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I may have missed a post but I think the OP is more pointing out that he has noticed more intimacy between the two guys in gay porn rather than straight porn. Personaly I think it is just cause gay guys are better actors lol.

But I do think the levels of trust need to be alot higher for to guys to fuck than a guy and a girl. To me anal sex is a far more intimate act than vaginal penetration..... but thats just my opinion.
 

rob_just_rob

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I'm wanting to hear other peeps opinion on this issue. I haven't seen that many guys having sex with each other but when I have I feel self-conscious as fuck. I've seen some guy-on-guy porn and I always feel a little uncomfortable watching it. They look so vulnerable being together intimately. Do you think this is a homophobic reaction or just my own fear? I don't care what other people do sexually with each other, but watching it feels strange sometimes. Thanks.
:biggrin1:

I don't find it repulsive and I don't think it makes me any more uncomfortable than, say, watching straight porn featuring unattractive women. If don't find it arousing, I don't watch it.

Curious - if it makes you uncomfortable, why do you watch it? It's been my experience that in order to see gay porn, you pretty much have to go looking for it (other than the occasional pop-up ad).
 

9inchRob

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Do you feel vulnerable because of the suggestion that you might become one of guys you are watching, and give yourself fully to another man, just like the porn actors are at least playing at doing???

(And of course, the best porn is when they really do care for each other.....)

It's a grand and glorious thing, from my perspective...... and maybe this frisson of fear is your inner man telling of you need to "Jump right through those fears......???"

BTW, great bod and cock shots, Hung Jon!!!

ROB
 

moderateman8,5"

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Funny. My gay friend feels the same way about straight porn. He just doesn't get it. It makes him uncomfortable and he questions why girls want boys to just fuck them like they are a piece of meat. He put up watching it with me... but I think we were both kinda awkward around it. The gay porn worked much better for the both of us. He responds much better ;P

Haha you're so funny :D Yeah, heterosexuals suck.. straight sex in unnatural!! Um wait a minute.. I am straight.. D'oh!