Discrimination Vs. Being selective of HIV-/+ partners

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by TheEnforcer, Dec 3, 2011.

  1. TheEnforcer

    TheEnforcer Member

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    I actually work for an HIV beharioral study where we go out to different places and ask a variety of questions, and ask people's opinions on a variety of statements. One of the statements are "Most of the people in Insert your city's name here would discriminate against someone with HIV"

    One interviewee brought up a great point - He asked me if the question meant that if he would or would not sleep with someone because they are HIV+ or in general if they would discriminate in any other way... because the two are different, yet can be seen as discrimination.

    I pondered about this when I got home; as I like to often put myself temporarily (mentally) in other people's shoes to understand them.

    What do you all think about this topic? If you are HIV Negative, how would you describe "discrimination"? and if you are HIV Positive, what's your definition of "discrimination"? Questions, Questions, Questions.. :) :icon3:
     
  2. sykray

    sykray Active Member

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    I have safe sex, so it doesn't matter whether I know someone is or isn't HIV+.

    Discrimination in this situation is whether you behave differently towards the other person. Penetrative sex if you believe the person is HIV- but non-penetrative sex if you know the person is HIV+. Or a difference in condom use or if you simply reject someone who you believe to be HIV+.
     
  3. kayman

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    I think it is something to be discussed. I've date someone whom was HIV+ before and I didn't bat an eye at it because I liked him, and I am HIV-. I have safe sex with condoms regardless.

    I find it interesting how those whom are on hook-up sites and will say something really demeaning about people with HIV, but fail to realize that other STIs exist aside from it. I usually chalk it up to those that are like are mostly like the whorish simpletons to avoid.
     
    #3 kayman, Dec 3, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2011
  4. B_duanculo

    B_duanculo New Member

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    safe sex or not, i would not willingly choose to have sex with someone who is HIV positive. plain and simple. i don't think it is 'discrimination". it is my preference. is it discrimination when a Caucasian female says she doesn't "date black guys" ... no, it's her preference, she doesn't find us attractive. that is totally different from saying "i hate black guys/ppl".
     
  5. Bbucko

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    I only have penetrative sex with fellow poz-guys; it's called serosorting and it is an excellent way to prevent transmission to those who are negative. Once in a great while I'll come across someone who feels as though I'm unfairly "discriminating", but most guys nod their heads and, while they may not agree with me, understand and respect my position on that matter.

    As I have no desire for sex with someone who is negative, I'd never feel insulted or discriminated against when/if they felt the same way about me and my status. This is much more of an issue with n00bs or those who live in areas of very low concentration of perspective beaux. Such is not the case here in SoFla.

    There are, of course, many areas where I could be discriminated against which would anger me very much: housing, employment, accommodation, etc.
     
  6. Gecko4lif

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    I wouldn't knowingly have sex with anybody who has a communicable disease regardless of what it is

    Edit: There is no such thing as being discriminatory persay when it comes to sex because you dont have a right to it. Its not the same as workplace discrimination or what have you.
     
    #6 Gecko4lif, Dec 3, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2011
  7. B_Marius567

    B_Marius567 New Member

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    what happens if I have a cut on my finger and touch her wet pussy?
     
  8. Bbucko

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    Nothing: at no times and under no circumstances is masturbation (alone or mutual, including fingering both vaginas and/or butts) a scenario for transmission of HIV. That is the definitive, complete truth.
     
  9. TheEnforcer

    TheEnforcer Member

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    Actually, since the person brought up a valid point about having a cut on his finger, and then fingering a wet vagina. If the vagina is relatively healthy, then there would be no risk. HOWEVER, if the vagina had some type of irritation caused by an STD or other sickness, this raw skin could possibly bleed, therefore exposing fluids for potential infection.

    This is an extreme worse case scenario... for infection to happen, there has to be infectious fluid to blood contact. That is a possible scenario, but not a very likely one... But don't rule out the possibilities in your attempts to have safer sex! That's why they invented finger cots, or "finger condoms" so that if you know that you have a cut, you can slip one of those on and protect your open cut.
     
  10. Bbucko

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    This is an HIV-specific thread, and I tailored my response accordingly. If you have a deep and open, bleeding gash on your finger (or anywhere on your body), then you're probably not likely to be feeling especially sexual. If you have a recent but clotted and no longer bleeding cut, then the clot will protect you from HIV (presuming she's even poz, which is actually quite a leap). Under no feasible scenario is mutual masturbation a vector for transmission of HIV. The highest concentration of virus lies not in vaginal fluid, but rather the much-deeper cervical fluid: but even that is not considered a risky scenario.

    You are correct if you broaden your scenario to include bacterial STIs and/or hepatitis (most especially hep C).

    I was a peer-educator IRL for many years, and was one of a small handful of members of AIDSmeds.com's membership allowed to respond to anxious posts in their risk-assessment forum titled Am I Infected?; in fact, were I of the right mindset, I'd be allowed back. My issue isn't with the info posted as much as the politics of the place. IMO, they are far and away the best source for info regarding HIV/AIDS on the web currently; certainly they're head and shoulders above TheBody.com, which clings to outmoded data and is inconsistent in their messaging.

    Knowledge = Life / Silence = Death
     
    #10 Bbucko, Dec 5, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2011
  11. TheEnforcer

    TheEnforcer Member

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    True... However, I would just be careful in saying that "under no feasible scenario is it possible to contract HIV thru mutual masturbation" ... What may be common sense or common practice for one person, may not be a common scenario for someone else.

    There are many factors which may play a part. There are people who like to scratch, whip, torture, bite, well even til that person bleeds... It is possible that they having sex in thie sado-masochistic state where others feel pain, they may feel horniness... Length of fingernails definately plays a part... It is very possible that scabs can fall off and that wound be re-exposed again...

    While it may not be common, and the CDC may not have reported risk of mutual masturbation (in extremely rare worse case scenarios), part of HIV prevention is being aware of ALL potential risk (low and high) - and having a plan of action to make that a more safer than before.
     
  12. B_theaussieone

    B_theaussieone New Member

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    damn right i'd discriminate. i dont want to increase my risk of any disease especially an incurable life threatening chronic condition.
     
  13. alan_b

    alan_b Member

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    I have willingly had sex with a fella who I know is HIV a few times in the past. I was safe about it etc and understood the risk. So no I would not discriminate. Having sex with someone who is positive is a known and calculated risk. What I am trying to say is better the devil you know.

    However, as I was diagnosed with HIV last week, I imagine that there are alot of guys out there who will be put off by that fact. And at the end of the day I would not feel right not telling them I have it.
     
  14. cocktailweenie

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    The people who posed such a sloppy question were being disingenuous. They were counting on a substantial number of people misinterpreting or not understanding the question so they could point to the "result" they wanted.
     
  15. MelbourneGirl

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    I am HiV neg and wouldn't discriminate against somebody who was HIV poz. My usual safe sex practices would continue much as usual. When having sex in a casual hook-up situation, I always operate from a mindset that I am dealing with somebody who could be HIV poz, or have other STD's and the type of sex we subsequently enjoy takes that into account.
     
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