Discussing sex with my therapist

Growing123

Cherished Member
Joined
Dec 31, 2017
Posts
295
Media
0
Likes
309
Points
108
Location
Nowhere (Oklahoma, United States)
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
I have been seeing my therapist for one year and he is very easy to talk to. However I find it really hard to talk about sex hookups. I have opened up generally about what I don't like to do eg. anal. However I don't want to admit that I have random hookups. I know that he is curious and broached it but I told him that I struggle to share such intimate details.
As our therapy explores my issues with relationship intimacy and shame I am unsure if I need to tell him that I have had meaningless hookups. Is it not enough that he can suspect it or do I need to say it out loud? My intuition says that I need to tell him but it's so humiliating to me.

What do you think? Would you tell your therapist that you glanced at a person's groin area and then went to a public place and fooled around? I'm afraid of judgement. I'm probably mistaken in assuming that most people have casual public hookups so can't I just keep this to myself and discuss everything else? He is a straight man and is about 10 years older than me which makes it more difficult. He is married.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Boywatch200
D

deleted23309891

Guest
Some things I just won’t tell my therapist. I feel like at times, I’m a borderline sex addict, but I just can’t bring myself to discuss this with him. I don’t believe he needs to know about every facet of my life, including posting here and showing pictures of myself. I don’t see what good that would do with him knowing.
 

Boywatch200

Legendary Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2023
Posts
665
Media
0
Likes
2,176
Points
178
Location
Spain
Sexuality
Pansexual
Gender
Male
W
I have been seeing my therapist for one year and he is very easy to talk to. However I find it really hard to talk about sex hookups. I have opened up generally about what I don't like to do eg. anal. However I don't want to admit that I have random hookups. I know that he is curious and broached it but I told him that I struggle to share such intimate details.
As our therapy explores my issues with relationship intimacy and shame I am unsure if I need to tell him that I have had meaningless hookups. Is it not enough that he can suspect it or do I need to say it out loud? My intuition says that I need to tell him but it's so humiliating to me.

What do you think? Would you tell your therapist that you glanced at a person's groin area and then went to a public place and fooled around? I'm afraid of judgement. I'm probably mistaken in assuming that most people have casual public hookups so can't I just keep this to myself and discuss everything else? He is a straight man and is about 10 years older than me which makes it more difficult. He is married.
Well , he is therapists no matter what he is there to support you he just helps you out to see the things that you cannot see. Also he is bound to confidentiality… but on my opinion your reluctancy to be open with might come from the fact that you see him as a friend or a sort of authority that you believe that might judge you or something.
In your comment earlier you mentioned shamed, and think that you should follow this lead… Shame is an emotion that had many layers, and has a lot to do with low self esteem. I think you are afraid to tell him about your random hook ups because when you externalise you will judge yourself very hard and it generates an internal conflict within you.
You instinctively understand what you need to do, I will encourage you to take the step, remember you are doing the therapy for you and the therapist is just an enabler.

wishing you a lot courage, you are not alone!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Growing123

ViewingPleasure

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Cammer
Joined
Aug 4, 2011
Posts
842
Media
1,058
Likes
11,551
Points
523
Location
Virginia, USA
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
I have been seeing my therapist for one year and he is very easy to talk to. However I find it really hard to talk about sex hookups. I have opened up generally about what I don't like to do eg. anal. However I don't want to admit that I have random hookups. I know that he is curious and broached it but I told him that I struggle to share such intimate details.
As our therapy explores my issues with relationship intimacy and shame I am unsure if I need to tell him that I have had meaningless hookups. Is it not enough that he can suspect it or do I need to say it out loud? My intuition says that I need to tell him but it's so humiliating to me.

What do you think? Would you tell your therapist that you glanced at a person's groin area and then went to a public place and fooled around? I'm afraid of judgement. I'm probably mistaken in assuming that most people have casual public hookups so can't I just keep this to myself and discuss everything else? He is a straight man and is about 10 years older than me which makes it more difficult. He is married.
You're in the right place, bruh. Yes, you should absolutely talk about your hookups and find out why you're so self-conscious or ashamed or... whatever it is you are about them.
 

playklax01

Admired Member
Joined
Aug 10, 2013
Posts
474
Media
10
Likes
934
Points
213
Location
Boston, MA, USA
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
If they've been in the business a while, they've heard it all. Nothing should shock them. And they should be the least judgmental people you'd ever encounter. The more you offer up, the more they can help you. And if you feel you can't open up with that particular person, it may be time to look for another.