Dislike being gay
- Thread starter jCK56
- Start date
Phil Ayesho
Superior Member
We'll there's your problem right there. Stop being a republican. You really want to be associated with that kind of brutish, elitism of the rich PRETENDING they are going to do anything for the rural States? Republicans play the rural electorate like calliopes... and they NEVER seem to catch on to the con. They yank your chains of bigotry and fear, and y'all flush dutifully and swallow their shit.
You have probably allowed yourself to be immersed in a form of brainwashing propaganda that is composed of 7 parts lies, 4 parts hatred, and 21 parts horse shit, all mixed together in one of those disgusting ponds you find downhill from every hog farm.
if the history of republican sex scandals teaches us anything, its that the more vocal they are about being anti-gay- the more likely they are to be caught with a boy toy in a motel or sucking an anonymous cock in an airport bathroom.
So, First...lighten up on yourself. YES gay sex is disgusting... but that is exactly why its FUN. Try it once and I guarantee you will go back for more. The longer you deny your sexual needs in a repressive culture, the more likely you are to end up doing something stupid, like laying your dick on the scanner at the grocery checkout.
Second- if you're 30% not gay- then there is no reason why you shouldn't pursue a sexual relationship with a woman. If you are so hidebound with traditional social roles and perceptions, you may well find yourself bending more hetero because it satisfies your prejudices. Hetero sex is also disgusting... but, again, that's what makes it hot.
Third- READ SOMETHING. something well beyond the tropes and trash that re-inforce your narrow world view. Find out a little about other people in other places and perhaps explore some of the great literature out there. Anything OTHER than FAUXnews and not-so-Breitbrat. This might help loosen those self loathing ideologies that have tied you up in knots.
Try and disenthrall yourself with the Republican ideology- because that entire world view is one that PROMOTES self loathing among men like you.
I PROMISE YOU that in a rural red state, You ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE. 10% of the men you see around you are in exactly the same boat as you, but many of them, too, are filled with self loathing because of their silly ideological beliefs and the social expectations of others.
What you BELIEVE is nothing but the SHIRT you chose to wear. You CAN simply choose to wear a more comfortable shirt.
As noted by KennF (above), I am not sure if the OP is real or is just posing a hypothetical situation. However, since the OP did not mention any pivotal early life experience or religious influence, I am even more suspicious of the post.
That said, the OP does provide an opportunity to make a strong plea to all individuals, especially gays. You are who you are. It’s your life and you need to own it.
The last thing you should do is fall victim to a stereotype. This is one place where being selfish can be a good thing. Make life work for you.
That said, the OP does provide an opportunity to make a strong plea to all individuals, especially gays. You are who you are. It’s your life and you need to own it.
The last thing you should do is fall victim to a stereotype. This is one place where being selfish can be a good thing. Make life work for you.
hypolimnas
Superior Member
Interesting post Phil.
Your comment that gay sex is DISGUSTING (but fun) was something that I deserves some discussion. Disgust is an interesting emotion and much research has been done on it, it is an emotion found in every culture. I can't be bothered getting out of bed and going to my library. My bone needs urgent attention, anyway ...
The phrase "that's disgusting! ... but VERY interesting" was one often heard in our house ... we always found it very funny - and applicable to many daily situations because it invites reflection on how we think and feel ... and the peculiar differences between them.
http://keenetrial.com/blog/2014/09/17/the-disgust-scale-how-have-we-missed-this-all-this-time/
This is the bit that interested me in the context of the OP:
disgust sensitivity is linked to being neurotic, behaviorally inhibited, and having low self-esteem. They cite three types of disgust: core, animal reminder, and contamination disgust.
http://keenetrial.com/blog/2010/08/25/eww-that-is-just-disgusting-but-very-interesting/
“The father of modern disgust research is a psychologist named Paul Rozin. In a series of studies in the 1980s and 1990s that read like hidden-camera pranks, he set out to see how powerful the emotion was, and what exactly it was about disgusting things that repelled us. A professor at the University of Pennsylvania, Rozin served people cups of juice that a sterilized cockroach had been dropped into and offered others chocolate fudge shaped like dog poop. He asked whether subjects would wear a thoroughly laundered sweater that had once belonged to Adolf Hitler. In all those instances, most people refused, even though they knew the cockroach and sweater were clean and that the fudge was in fact fudge. They just felt disgusted.”
Garden worms used to disgust and frighten me, but as I got older and started to love and touch penises, my feelings about garden worms became very neutral - and I could see them for what they were and touch them with no anxiety or disgust at all.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step ... investigating disgust (and fun) might be the first one.
Your comment that gay sex is DISGUSTING (but fun) was something that I deserves some discussion. Disgust is an interesting emotion and much research has been done on it, it is an emotion found in every culture. I can't be bothered getting out of bed and going to my library. My bone needs urgent attention, anyway ...
The phrase "that's disgusting! ... but VERY interesting" was one often heard in our house ... we always found it very funny - and applicable to many daily situations because it invites reflection on how we think and feel ... and the peculiar differences between them.
http://keenetrial.com/blog/2014/09/17/the-disgust-scale-how-have-we-missed-this-all-this-time/
This is the bit that interested me in the context of the OP:
disgust sensitivity is linked to being neurotic, behaviorally inhibited, and having low self-esteem. They cite three types of disgust: core, animal reminder, and contamination disgust.
http://keenetrial.com/blog/2010/08/25/eww-that-is-just-disgusting-but-very-interesting/
- If you are more easily disgusted by bugs, you are more likely to see both gay marriage and abortion as wrong.
“The father of modern disgust research is a psychologist named Paul Rozin. In a series of studies in the 1980s and 1990s that read like hidden-camera pranks, he set out to see how powerful the emotion was, and what exactly it was about disgusting things that repelled us. A professor at the University of Pennsylvania, Rozin served people cups of juice that a sterilized cockroach had been dropped into and offered others chocolate fudge shaped like dog poop. He asked whether subjects would wear a thoroughly laundered sweater that had once belonged to Adolf Hitler. In all those instances, most people refused, even though they knew the cockroach and sweater were clean and that the fudge was in fact fudge. They just felt disgusted.”
Garden worms used to disgust and frighten me, but as I got older and started to love and touch penises, my feelings about garden worms became very neutral - and I could see them for what they were and touch them with no anxiety or disgust at all.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step ... investigating disgust (and fun) might be the first one.
I think it's a good thing you are becoming aware of how much of your life is being taken away and how dark your future can be if you are denied a company for yourself forever, what I think it's misplaced is that at no moment you ask yourself who taught you to hate who you are.
So you try to blame gays who act "feminine". Ask yourself, did you only learn about that gays act like this or like that after you met gay people, like in an actually reality-based worldview? No, we learn stereotypes (jokes, provocations and slurs) much before we meet any gay person, or even know what gayness even means. So that's something that must be taught.
You also talk like gay sex is objectively disgusting. Did you only considerated it disgusting after you saw a gay porn? Or have you ever heard the concept of intimacy between men being something filthy before? Who taught you that?
So you try to blame gays who act "feminine". Ask yourself, did you only learn about that gays act like this or like that after you met gay people, like in an actually reality-based worldview? No, we learn stereotypes (jokes, provocations and slurs) much before we meet any gay person, or even know what gayness even means. So that's something that must be taught.
You also talk like gay sex is objectively disgusting. Did you only considerated it disgusting after you saw a gay porn? Or have you ever heard the concept of intimacy between men being something filthy before? Who taught you that?
Small towns are very unhealthy places for someone in your state of mind. It take a lot of maturity and courage to be your own person in a small town.
I wish you the best and hope that you can find a way out of this mental chaos. I know you will. You just need to move away. Trust me - it works wonders (not just for your sexuality, but for all kinds of "good" reasons).
It takes strength to find peace. You're very, very young. You have the world in front of you.
There is more to life than sex and romance. You don't have to come out of the closet. That's a personal choice. Your sexuality is a private situation. You're still quite young, and sometimes it can change (don't hold onto hope that you'll get straighter - but sexuality is at times malleable with time). Being gay - in and of itself- is not inferior to being straight.
Celibacy is a choice that both gay and straight people make. If you just can't have a romance/sex with another man, etc, (despite therapy, etc,) then you perhaps just choice a non-sexual path. If women aren't enough to get your dick hard, then don't pursue it, either.
Just be!
I wish you the best and hope that you can find a way out of this mental chaos. I know you will. You just need to move away. Trust me - it works wonders (not just for your sexuality, but for all kinds of "good" reasons).
It takes strength to find peace. You're very, very young. You have the world in front of you.
There is more to life than sex and romance. You don't have to come out of the closet. That's a personal choice. Your sexuality is a private situation. You're still quite young, and sometimes it can change (don't hold onto hope that you'll get straighter - but sexuality is at times malleable with time). Being gay - in and of itself- is not inferior to being straight.
Celibacy is a choice that both gay and straight people make. If you just can't have a romance/sex with another man, etc, (despite therapy, etc,) then you perhaps just choice a non-sexual path. If women aren't enough to get your dick hard, then don't pursue it, either.
Just be!
Celibacy is beautiful path and a most liberating one. I am not telling you to be that at 24 years old. But it is for some the only way to freedom. Nothing to do with shame for being gay, bi, trans, etc. Many heterosexuals have opted for it.
Respectful gay sex is not filthy in any way. It's an action based on lustful emotion. Culture made it wrong. but it is not inherently so. No different than hetero sex.
It's like materialism - you can literally and figuratively "buy into it", but will it make you happy?
Only you can know what is RIGHT for you, dear friend.
Respectful gay sex is not filthy in any way. It's an action based on lustful emotion. Culture made it wrong. but it is not inherently so. No different than hetero sex.
It's like materialism - you can literally and figuratively "buy into it", but will it make you happy?
Only you can know what is RIGHT for you, dear friend.
Last edited:
Phil Ayesho
Superior Member
Wait- you're saying penises are enough like worms to desensitize you to the disgusting nature of worms?
I guess never saw penises to be like worms... because no matter how long you suck on a worm it never gets any stiffer.
I remember thinking anal sex was disgusting, because assholes and what comes out of them are disgusting. Until I got fucked in the ass. They are still disgusting... butt I find a thorough cleaning helps with that, and an assfucking is just too hot to pass up. Its worth the enema. ( not to mention that having a kid and changing diapers reduces your horror of shit )
Sex is, in itself, messy, moist, and sloppy with fluids. Its very animalistic. But that heat seems to make the mess only hotter. The wetter a woman gets, the more it turns you on. The smells, tastes and flavors are often a bit rank... but then, whiskey tastes awful, too- you learn to like it. Piss tastes nasty... but I find I LOVE that its so nasty because what i'm doing when I get pissed on is NASTY.
( with the possible exception of Pre-cum- which, let's face it, is the most delicious thing on earth )
The more you are exposed to such things, directly, the less shocking or off-putting they become.
The only difference between a guy who is disgusted by the idea of sucking cock, and a guy who likes to suck cock is an IDEA in their heads. And the only thing you CAN change about the world is your own mind.
If you like sex at all, you can LEARN to like just about anything sexual.
hypolimnas
Superior Member
hypolimnas
Superior Member
Dave NoCal
Superior Member
The fact that the OP has not posted any responses to members' kind efforts to be helpful causes me to question the sincerity of his original post. However, the comments may still be helpful to both the OP and others.
Phil Ayesho
Superior Member
well, if he doesn't want our help he can go suck a dick.
oops- I guess that's still being helpful...
oops- I guess that's still being helpful...
Listen lets assume this poster is for real... we can go back and forth on a lot of this but IMO the bigger issue is that this guy, and frankly a lot of people who are adults in age only, act immature and are sort of pussies in so far as they act as though they cant change their lives.
You are a Fng 24 year old adult with no GF or attachements. There is NOTHING keeping you from doing or going somewhere else. I have known people younger than that who left their homes to move to a new state, country, explore etc to live their lives. You do not owe anything to anyone except yourself as an adult. All I see is fear. you are afraid to be gay/bi, you are afraid to tell anyone, you cant move. my job sucks etc etc. Get off your ass and make a plan to do what YOU want to do with your life. If you do not have the drive or balls to do that, that's cool, no shame in that..not everyone is strong like that. So like someone said go see a therapist. They are Fng awesome. They do not judge ( they have heard it all), they let you say whatever you want and they will open your eyes. This is not about being gay ( ok maybe it is lol) It is about understanding that you are an adult single male...its your life and there is world out there. Take advantage of it. If you end up alone in a hospital bed its because of you and only you.
BTW your friends and family are probably already suspecting you like dudes...my guess is it wont be a big surprise when you tell them. if they turn on you then they suck as friends and family. You know them better then us. When I told my best friend, who we have done everything together, trips, school, gyms, hooking up ( with other girls) etc I wasnt sure howd he react but he could care less. Iyts never as bad as you think and if it is..then drop them..they arent good friends and they are going nowhere in life.
You are a Fng 24 year old adult with no GF or attachements. There is NOTHING keeping you from doing or going somewhere else. I have known people younger than that who left their homes to move to a new state, country, explore etc to live their lives. You do not owe anything to anyone except yourself as an adult. All I see is fear. you are afraid to be gay/bi, you are afraid to tell anyone, you cant move. my job sucks etc etc. Get off your ass and make a plan to do what YOU want to do with your life. If you do not have the drive or balls to do that, that's cool, no shame in that..not everyone is strong like that. So like someone said go see a therapist. They are Fng awesome. They do not judge ( they have heard it all), they let you say whatever you want and they will open your eyes. This is not about being gay ( ok maybe it is lol) It is about understanding that you are an adult single male...its your life and there is world out there. Take advantage of it. If you end up alone in a hospital bed its because of you and only you.
BTW your friends and family are probably already suspecting you like dudes...my guess is it wont be a big surprise when you tell them. if they turn on you then they suck as friends and family. You know them better then us. When I told my best friend, who we have done everything together, trips, school, gyms, hooking up ( with other girls) etc I wasnt sure howd he react but he could care less. Iyts never as bad as you think and if it is..then drop them..they arent good friends and they are going nowhere in life.
I got the impression from his post that the problem is that he feel he is/would be dishonoring himself by being gay. It's not a matter of lack of courage or fear of consequences.
That can be a terrible advice, depending on the conditions of his life. You also don't know how much he values or needs the support of his family.
sorry I disagree..holding onto people that wouldnt accept him is hardly a way to go through life. Im not saying he has to just drop everything and leave...but the guy needs to start the process. That is my point, if you are not strong go see a therapist on how to get strong. If he needs the support of a family who would not accept him being gay/bi...how is that supportive? I valued my parents support because I know no matter what I told them about myself they would be on my side.
Im just saying if you are a 24 year old adult you need to buck up and make changes in your life where its needed. If a black person was lamenting how he was so mad he was born Black would that make any sense? of course not....this shouldnt either.
The problem is not lack of strenght to make a decision. You are ignoring what his complaint was and simply projecting your own life experience unto him as a trail to be followed. And you do can get support from people who wouldn't accept you if they knew you're gay, even emotional support; the majority of LGBT people have homophobic grandparents that aren't simply tossed away. It is not yours to decide what relationship is unworthy. Everybody loves their family and friends and might prefer to accept the bittersweet of having an homophobic close person than to toss away who doesn't fit the unconditional love ideal.
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2016
- Posts
- 103
- Media
- 6
- Likes
- 1,057
- Points
- 388
- Location
- Melbourne (Victoria, Australia)
- Verification
- View
- Sexuality
- 60% Straight, 40% Gay
- Gender
- Male
Hey sometimes your politics and your sexuality don't match
Of course you can be a staunch republican, hunter, shooter and fisher and man with no lisp and still like dick.
There's no inherent conflict there
Or you could continue with self hatred for a little longer and we'll see you on the news when your brains are all over your garage ceiling.
Here to talk if you want to
Of course you can be a staunch republican, hunter, shooter and fisher and man with no lisp and still like dick.
There's no inherent conflict there
Or you could continue with self hatred for a little longer and we'll see you on the news when your brains are all over your garage ceiling.
Here to talk if you want to
A black person grows up with black parents, having no doubts about what it means to be black and having no way of deluding himself he could be something other than black. He will have to face institutional racism from society, but in the smallest social institution, he will face no such thing. Of course it doesn't make sense a black person lamenting he have been born black, but what is the parallel here?
I agree, and, he may need some outside help to know that he is strong enough to do it on his own. We both know that coming to terms with ourselves isn't always an easy process.
I think it is brave and admirable that the OP posted here. It is a great sign that he is ready to start figuring out what is best for himself.
Similar threads
