Disturbing

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by DC_DEEP, Apr 20, 2005.

  1. DC_DEEP

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    I don't want to sound discriminatory or rude, but does anyone else find it disturbing to see posts from members who are, or claim to be, 14 or 15 or 16 or 17 years old? I understand that teens needs support and guidance, but in addition to the usual discourse in the forum, there are also the galleries et al. I'm wondering if these are really teens (in which case I don't think this is really the place for them) or possibly even undercovers trying to fish out a pedophile or two... anyone else have thoughts on this?
     
  2. blackwood

    blackwood New Member

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    DC,

    I Think you are correct. I have without thinking given advice. Do not feel comfortable with the contact.

    blackwood
     
  3. yaoifun

    yaoifun New Member

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    I am one of those 17 year olds. No, I don't visit the galleries and no I'm not an undercover, and I have the pictures of myself to prove it, though I just don't feel like putting them up half the time. Some of the members have seen them and can back me up on this, so don't ostracise me because of my age, but I won't deny that some people here probably are the way you classify them. I'm just saying it's not true in my case. :)
     
  4. willie

    willie New Member

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    I do admin a couple of boards and it is a problem I take very seriously.

    To protect everybody, I take the following precautions:

    The sites are labelled with ICRA, so any parental control system will set an age limit.

    There is a user sub-group called 'minor', which I set for anybody under 18 and limits access. (No PM's, no viewing or posting attachments, can't see some areas.)

    There's also a sub-group called 'anon' for anybody who registers from an anonymous email account (ie Hotmail), until they contact a moderator and explain who they are. This restricts access ever further and helps to stop Trolls. (eg. can't start topics)

    All this is useless when people lie, but there's not much you can do about that.
     
  5. DC_DEEP

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    Yao, please understand that I did not intend to offend or ostracise you. I have read some of your posts, and find you to be interesting, and probably in some ways mature beyond 17 years. And also keep in mind, there is a great difference between 17 and 15. Don't get me wrong - I was an early bloomer. I began puberty and sexual awareness probably at age 10 or 11, had pubic and armpit hair at age 12, chest hair and had to shave the face daily at 13 or 14, so I CAN sympathize. If the internet had been available when I was a teen, would I have been looking where I should not? Hell yes, of course I would have. Would I have gotten myself into trouble? Most likely. It is just that in this type of forum, those of us of majority age MUST be careful, and responsible. I'm certain that most of the members, especially regular posters, are exactly as they present themselves. I'm equally as certain that there are some who profess to be minors who are either adult predators looking for minor victims, law enforcers looking for predators, or the ubiquitous posers just trying to yank everyone else's chain. Keep up your good work, my man. No slight or indictment of you was intended.
     
  6. yaoifun

    yaoifun New Member

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    Oh don't worry I wasn't offended in the least! It takes a lot to set me off! I was only saying I'm not one of the psuedo-17 year olds, thats all. ^_^ And thanks a lot for the compliments, I really appreciate them! I'm sorry if I sounded pissed or anything, that wasn't my intention at all either. Your just looking out for the board, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Though I really would have no sympathy to any pedos should they get in trouble!
     
  7. brainzz_n_dong

    brainzz_n_dong New Member

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    As someone about to kiss their teen years goodbye, I see both sides. You don't really want 13 or 14 yr olds inside a forum where they can have access to waaaay more than they should. On the other hand, no doubt a great many teens are really here to learn and share (your's truly among that set) so I'd just say respond appropriately. Take into account the person's "listed" age and the type of question they are asking when you respond. Good advice doesn't have to be grahpic to be useful. I'm not accusing anyone of being graphic, just making a general comment...

    As to the young teens being here (if they are paying members), I got my first credit card app in the mail when I was 14 and when I showed it to my folks I didn't realize my dad's face could get that red :grr: he was obviously quite pleased with my wanting to establish a credit history so young
     
  8. Altairion

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    I think that it's great to have some of the younger guys on the board. People like Skai and Chris have added a positive dynamic to the board that most people might not even be aware of.

    While I'm out of my teens, I can think of times when I needed questions answered in the past. This place is great for that....it is a support group after all. It is true that some younger members of the population may not belong here since they could be seeing more than they would need to, but I believe that most of our regular posters of that age are mature enough to handle the situations and conversations that come up.
     
  9. Ineligible

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    I believe the younger members are often those who particularly need the support and enlightenment this board can provide. I don't think the subject matter is too heavy for teens, or that it's going to scar them - I think they have proved that by the quality of their posts.
     
  10. KinkGuy

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    I do worry about it sometimes. I fire off a post or reply and then realize I am answering someone underage.......in our world (at least the US neo-con version of it) I think, "shit, how would this look/sound/appear in court!" We have great young guys on the board......but still????????? I just wish more young men especially, had access to this kind of environment. On the whole? Incredibly positive and supportive during those troubling-troubled-confused years leading into manhood.
     
  11. jonb

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    Legally, telling a child about sex is okay. It's only when you have sex with them or take pictures of them having sex that you're breaking the law.
     
  12. Imported

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    hung_big: Personally, coming from someone who is 15, this subject matter is NOT too heavy. Seriously...think about it logically: Who would actually stumble across this site by accident? The reason I came across this site (to be brutally honest) was because I was looking for porn. The rest, I guess you could say, is history.

    I've met sexual predators myself, from this site. I'm NOT jailbate, as some might think (especially with my flirty nature), but I can see other's concerns. Like Brian said, having young people on this site adds demension and dynamic.

    I think that Mark has done well to keep the minors here either ( a ) to a minimum and ( b ) control what they do on the site.
     
  13. B_hungrick

    B_hungrick New Member

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    Just respect whoever you talk with!
     
  14. Freddie53

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    I am not worried at all. This is a great place for teens to get advice. And as Jonb said, it is not illegal to talk to a minor, it is illegal to have sex or try to set up a place for sex that is illegal.

    It would do Mark no good to bar minors. Many of them would just lie about their age. And if an undercover guy pretends to be a minor and catches a predator on this site, then this site has accomplished something. That would be one less predator to worry about. Mark should remove a nude picture if he knows the person is a minor or the person in the nude picture says he is a minor even if the person looks 40. A photoshop could make a person appear older then they are.

    And if anyone thinks that teens are that naive in this world, they need to think again. And if by chance they are that naive, they need to read up on the world quickly. And this is one site that would be good for them to read.

    There is no way to know this age. But when a boy enters puberty, he is an adolesent. It is foolish to try to hide anything from him at that point. That means some guys are ready to visit this site at age 12. Some may not be emotionally ready until age 16. We can't interview each minor and decide that. We have to assume that if they want to join and participate they are old enough.
     
  15. madame_zora

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    I agree Freddie. The minors are frequently the ones who need information the most. I completely respect the ones who post here, at least they are honest about their ages, so we know how to adress them. The gallery is limited to persons over the age of 18, and if someone lies to get in, I think the site is off the hook. Mark does remove pics of underage guys in the gallery, and face pics are okay for avatars if they want to use them. I would be sad if I thought the young guys who may not be able to get questions answered at home would lose access to a safe place where they may be able to sort out some of life's more puzzling questions. I think as long as we adults avoid trying to hook up with minors (and shame on you if you don't!), the integrity of the site can't be questioned and some valuable members here can continue to enjoy the benefits of their own maturity.
     
  16. Imported

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    gamma_phi: Well, I do believe there are some people here who are genuinely young, but I have thought once or twice about persons who seem to be a bit "too eager" to post nude pics of themselves and questioning how to access the galleries and what not. Like jonb said, it may not be illegal to give advice to teens about sex, but it's definitely not a good idea to exchange pics or things like that. I think we need to be a little cautious though.
     
  17. madame_zora

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    Oh, absolutely! GammaPhi, I think self monitoring is a good start, but we need to inform each other of any "problem children" that arise. We had a young'un a few months ago the started out right away asking if he could post pics, and was told "no" by several of us. He later pmmed me to ask if I'd look at his pics, so I posted his PM on a thread to warn everyone else. I think as long as we make it unpleasant for anyone with bad intentions, we'll be able to keep our collective noses clean. My first inclination was that this could be an undercover thing- I hope not, but I'll be damned if I'd let anything happen to this site.
     
  18. DC_DEEP

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    Or show them pictures of your penis?
     
  19. DC_DEEP

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    I agree with many of the points made, and am starting to think that my original post was misunderstood. I have no doubt that the regular posters can spot a malintent pretty quickly. And while I am inclined to be fairly trusting of Yaoifun, I just can't believe he "doesn't visit the galleries." I am certain that I would have at that age, simply due to the fact that I looked at "nekkid" magazines any chance I got when I was young. hung_big is at least honest that he found this site while looking for porn, not information and support.

    As for the information and support aspect, I could not agree more. Damn, I grew up in small-town Arkansas in the 1970s. Wanna talk about a lack of information and support, especially for a young man realizing he was gay? It was not easy. No internet. Nothing in the libraries. No one to trust enough to tell them you thought you were "one of those things that was the worst insult you could think of to call someone?" So yes, I do understand the need to be supportive. But I also realize that the members of this board should never give "carte blanche" postings, and should be especially cautious of PM activity or postings that "just don't seem quite right." Madame Zora, you are exceptionally perceptive and intuitive, and obviously very bright. But best of all, you are frighteningly enlightened (and kinda hot, for a straight girl! :p ) Anyway, just saying that some of the posts I read seemed to me to scream "I'm 15 years old and have a 15" cock. Will someone tell me the best way to stroke it?" and obviously something like that is not legitimate.
     
  20. DC_DEEP

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    Big, actually at 15, you ARE jailbait for someone of majority age. All that means is your youth is tempting (bait) to some folks who could go to jail for having sex with you. :p Unfortunately, for those of us who are homersexuals, it's still illegal in some states (regardless of the Lawrence decision) for us to have sex regardless of it being between consenting adults.
     
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