Ditched - perhaps my fault?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Lito, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. Lito

    Lito New Member

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    warning: I'm not a native English speaker, so please bear with my rather faulty text.

    Thats it. I've been ditched 2 days ago and I'm feeling like shit. Not sure it's related to LPSG but hey... can't hurt right?

    Point is, I'm a 30 year old college professor, and I work away from the city (100 miles) 2 days a week. About a month from now, I've began dating a 20 year old cutie from that city (not my student). Shes fun, not too pretty but pleasing to the eyes... all in all, I kinda fell for her.

    Last friday all went to hell. I called her and invited her to a big rave party. She said sure, I'll go with you, call me when you finish your work (that would be about 22:30h).

    So I leave work and call her. Weird enough she says: "I'm near you, at the college, picking a friend of mine. No, no need to meet right now. GO ahead to the party and I'll call you if anything happens"

    Albeit pissed, I do gather with the other professors (we're a mafia there :D )and we stop at a local bar to drink up before the party. All the while I was waiting for news... so I wait... wait... wait... 1:30h I decide to call her cellphone... no answer. At that point, pissed and with some vodkas on my head, I say the famous "fuck all, let's go wild".

    So I arrive at the party like 2 AM and wait a bit more. At 3am, however, I grab the first blondie I see around and kiss the hell out of her.

    Sure enough, that's when girl #1 appears, ignore me and that's it.



    facts:
    -We were not dating officially, but I felt like I deserved a better treatment.

    -Point here is not to brag, but I'm a remarkably good looking guy, have a LOT of students (and non students) hitting on me constantly, but i didn't cheat on her, ever (and we were not even in a official relationship).
    -We did have sex last week, and she seemed to enjoy it a LOT.

    QUESTION: Did I fuck it up? Should I have given her more credit? Perhaps she had a good excuse and I just blew it all?

    I'm feeling kinda like shit right now, but feel free to flame me, or not :D


    ps: edited on student-professor issues, since that's not what I'm interested in discussing :)
     
  2. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    You need to work out that you're overstepping boundaries with students first of all. I'd entrap you that way and then sue the ass off you and the education authority.

    As for getting ditched, you got bored after a few hours and went off with someone else. You let your cock do the thinking instead of your brain. And the woman you were meant to be meeting up with caught you. Either you'll learn a lesson from it or you'll continue to act like a moron. The "perhaps" in this thread title is an insult to human intelligence... it was your fault 100%, act like a fucking adult and take responsibility for your shit. Or else be an asshole for ever. Your choice.

    But I consider the issue of your inappropriate dealings with students to be far more serious, tbh.
     
  3. Lito

    Lito New Member

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    Guess I needed to hear that. Although the student issue is FAR less serious around here than you would imagine. ;)
    Another country, another culture.
     
  4. Lito

    Lito New Member

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    oh boy ;)
    oh well, I'll try to apologize and move forward. Not with her, too late for that, but...

    Anyway, thanks for the reply.
     
  5. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    It's that damned blonde's fault. If she hadn't been near you at the club your date wouldn't have caught you two in flagrante delipto..
     
  6. GoneA

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    While this sounds a bit soap-operay to me, let's follow it, nonetheless.

    In my mind, it sounds like you're creating much ado about nothing. You stated that the two of you are "not even in a official relationship", so the boundaries that would exist in a solidified relationship become significantly (more) ambiguous and bendable in one that is otherwise 'off the record'. Therefore, while the student you've built up a 'special rapport' with may have been somewhat outraged at the sight of you kissing another woman, she may be able to cool off faster after considering the liberalism of the relationship you share.

    Be that as it may, yes, I do think you fucked up. The wiser thing to do, I think, would have been to enjoy yourself without getting physically intimate with anyone else. If she would have never showed, the next day (or sometime in the near future) call the young woman and ask what caused her absence.


    In your defense, however, I will say that you probably weren’t exactly sober at the time (you mentioned having a few vodkas); hence, your reckless behavior. Also, you did attempt to call her a few times, which I more than what I can say some people would do.
     
  7. Lito

    Lito New Member

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    First things first: you gotta love a person who knows Shakespeare ;)

    That said, yes, I did call her a few times, then I sent a written message to her cellphone before going to the party.

    Also, I was really drunk at the party.

    All in all, as time passes, I'm feeling better. It was a fuck up, yes. I wouldn't do it again (I hope).
    But living and learning, I suppose.

    And thanks for accusing me without harsh words. Ever consireded a career as a diplomat? ;)
     
  8. GoneA

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    :wink:, I do aim to please.

    Good for you, then!! Also, I think if you expressed that sentiment to her she might see things a little differently.

    Well, I mean, I didn't actually accuse you of anything. Just an offering of my opinion, tbh. :wink:
     
  9. dreamer20

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    Next time don't invite one girl to a party if you intend to snog someone else, unless of course it is an orgy party. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You'll find another girl I'm sure.:wink:
     
  10. Lito

    Lito New Member

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    Well well well, isn't the world an interesting place?
    I just got a call from said girl. She apologized and begged me to not think she's a bad person !!!!

    I feel a little bit like in Crime and Punishment. I mean, not only she apologized me, but she didn't see anyhting I did at the party. Thats too much twilight zone to me.

    Heh... funny in a way.
    I told her what I did anyway, guess I should :p
     
  11. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    How did she react? Are you ditched permanently now?
     
  12. Grit

    Grit Member

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    Well I got dumped last week too -- she said I work too much -- best way to get over it is to find another and move on.
     
  13. davidjh7

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    Gee---a doctor that works too much, what are the odds...:rolleyes: . Sounds like someone actually has their priorities straight!:eek: "Well, you know, dear, I would really have loved going out dancing with you on Friday, but that guy that came in with multiple gunshots wounds just INSISTED he couldn't wait until Monday. Patients can be so inconsiderate sometimes...":tongue:
     
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