Ditching a friend for sex

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by sukmycock00, Jul 11, 2010.

  1. sukmycock00

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    How do yall feel about this? Just curious. I understand the whole mentality of it, kinda throw "bros before hoes" out the window because you should be happy your friend is getting laid...but does it bother anybody else? Do you do it to your friends?
     
  2. Pendlum

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    The saying bros before hoes bothers me.
     
  3. sukmycock00

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    lol I didn't mean it in the typical "frat boy" fashion, just a phrase thrown in there
     
  4. dj_hungry

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    big deal. if your friends are all butt hurt because you're getting laid, you need better friends.

    if you're getting upset because one of your friends ditched you to get laid, then an examination of your priorities might be in order.
     
  5. dolfette

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    you & me both.

    people don't think it's ok to ''just a phrase thrown in there'' with racist or homophobic comments, but misogyny is fine. :rolleyes:
     
  6. helgaleena

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    I am with Dolfette and Pendlum on this. Scrub your mind so you do not find this usage tolerable any longer, then you will find yourself with a much better class of acquaintances, and possibly even get laid more often.
     
  7. sukmycock00

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    Oh lord come on. It doesn't mean "screw women, keep them in the kitchen where they belong." you're taking it somewhere it doesn't need to go and comparing me to a racist,misogynist, and a homophobe which I do not appreciate. "Hoes" isn't all women. "Bros" isn't all men. It's used to describe a situation where you understand that a FRIEND, a person who is not gender specific, is more important than your Saturday night club hookup, again, not gender specific. Your feminist stance where u try and paint me as the evil man without regard for women at all is completely off base and has nothing to with the question posted in the original post. I understand fully what you're saying, but do not appreciate your trying to label me as a misogynist at all.
     
  8. Wish-4-8

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    I'll answer your question since the issue got side tracked.

    Context is everything. WARNING: Im am going to use other "lovely phrases". And the advice is misogyny at its worse.

    "Bros before hoes" implies that you dont let a girl come between you and a girl. The guy friendship is more important and the girl, well, she is just a fuck. Now, this being the case, a real friend would understand the differeance and cheer you on to getting laid. That is guy stuff. Yes ladies, thats how we think.

    Now, in the case of a girl you are commited to, not just a fuck, the issue gets blurred. Your friend has to understand that you have certain obligations to your commitment. He may need to take a back seat to them and wait his turn.

    Now, if you keep ditching your friend, everytime, well then at some point, that shit gets old. So pick your battles and your lays stratigically. Balance.
     
    #8 Wish-4-8, Jul 11, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2010
  9. D_Sir Fitzwilly Wankheimer III

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    absolutely, I'm surprised a woman who goes on this site would be upset with that. if you play the game expect to get called the name.
     
  10. Pendlum

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    What "game" are we talking about? The game of having relationships? That makes a woman a hoe?

    Even though you say that bros before hoes isn't gender specific, you are still making being a man positive, and being a woman negative. It is saying that in order for a woman to be good, and not a hoe, she has to be a bro, a male title. Maybe you don't realize it, but it's there. That's the danger of using some phrases, they are designed to put forth a message. So even if you don't believe it, when you say it, you make it sound like you believe it.
     
  11. dolfette

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    what game is that then?
    enlighten me. i'm sure your reply will be fascinating.
     
  12. dolfette

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    so calling a woman a ho for indulging in the exact same behaviour as your bro is indulging in isn't misogynistic? your definition must differ from mine considerably.

    it's a derogatory term. a vile, ugly, derogatory term used to insult women for being sexual.
     
  13. Gecko4lif

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    Ditching your friend isnt cool unless you KNOW your getting sex. Then it is cool as long as you explain afterwards why you vanished.

    At least between guys. girls might take a bit more personally.
     
  14. Rob1314

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    You should be happy for him getting laid. And just remember what goes around comes around, so when you bail on him for some action, he shouldn't be upset with you.

    As for the "un-politically correct" phrase you used, I'm reminded of another one from when I was 5 or so: "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." To define what I meen, before anyone does that for me: if reading or hearing words or phrases that for some reason offend you, don't read them, or listen to them.

    Or is that just a far to simplistic outlook on life? it has worked for me. I would say about 98% of the people I know have the same view... but to each his own.
     
  15. Bbucko

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    From a gay perspective, the only guys who routinely arrive and depart as a complete unit are either partnered, out-of-towners or Latinos.

    I have little or no interest in being the third-wheel, so partners rarely interest me. Out-of-towners who come to a bar in cliques are there for the social experience rather than getting laid; they also tend to worry about transportation and/or getting lost. A phone number may or may not lead to a dinner which may or may not lead to anything else.

    I have made it a specialty of dating Latinos since my late teens; I am as familiar with the challenges as I am with the rewards. Generally speaking, they tend to be the easiest to peel away from a larger group if they have their own means of transport and there's something about you that will enhance their status among the group, otherwise you might just get a phone number, maybe not even that. Latinos tend to feel a greater peer pressure than other groups found in gay bars, so I generally avoid the guys who arrive in groups: your best chance is with someone who has arrived alone.

    The best way to insure success in a bar pick-up regardless, however, is to find someone who arrives alone: anything else is complicated and tends toward the drama. The only exception to this is the aftermath of a party, either a birthday celebration or dinner party (frequently the same thing) where those who remain after midnight decide to go out for a drink. Any gay man who chides another for ditching the party (after a change in venue) for a piece of ass needs medical intervention: their concept of reality is seriously out of whack.
     
  16. dolfette

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    which is why there are laws protecting people from racist or homophobic abuse?

    i think people are just rather selective about the groups they think it is or isn't ok to insult.

    it's ok to call me a ho for having sex, but it's abusive to call me a dyke for having sex with women? well that's just inconsistent.
     
  17. dolfette

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    oh, and i would only be pissed if they'd let me down for something special. if it was just the usual hanging out and they dropped me a text to let me know, i'd just be happy they were having fun.

    i'd like to think that something like my birthday party was more important to them than getting sex.
     
  18. Bbucko

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    If this is in any way directed at my post, then I'll clarify: once the venue has changed from someone's home to a loud, packed bar full of guys, it's no longer a birthday party; if you want to keep things intimate and a group cohesive, go to a lounge where the conversation can continue, not some pick-up/cruise bar where the music is too loud and there are too many distractions to have any semblance left of a private party.
     
  19. dolfette

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    no it wasn't aimed at you, doll.
     
  20. pain4anangel

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    I agree. I would hope my friend would be happy for me lol. However, this doesn't exactly mean I will tell them I'm ditching them to get laid. Come on now lol. :rolleyes:
     
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