Rather than refer you all ot old threads, I'll explain here: I got divorced earlier this year. The divorce was ugly, and the marriage leading to it was horrible. My ex-wife was completely frigid, and turned abbusive (I know it sounds wierd, but it's true) and so I got out after 2 years of agony. In october, I met the most amazing girl in the world, she's 2 years younger than me, inteligent, well read, and well travelled. She and I have personalities that are very similar, and we can't get enough of each other. The only issues we have in our relationship don't have anything to do with our relationship, but rather past relationships. Here's the snag: My GF has a hard time dealing with the fact that I have an ex-wife. I can't really blame her I guess, but there's nothing I can do to change the fact that I do. She's worried about the fact that I've made a life commitment to someone else, and then in her eyes I've "broken" that commitment. I guess what I looking for feedback about is this: How can I make it clear to her that I only appreciate her more because of my past? That she's no less special to me now than she would be if I'd never been married? She grew up with very idealistic views of what her wedding would be like, and what it would be like to say the vows and start a life with someone, and she's having a hard time with the concept that I had a life with someone else first. The fact that the life I had before was terrible isn't actually that important in this equation, it's really just that it happened. Can I ask her to sacrifice those childhood dreams? Am I being a selfish bastard for continuing this relationship knowing that for it to progress to that point she would have to make, what would be to her, huge comprimises? What justification can I have? Is love enough reason to ask someone for that kind of sacrifice? Do you think it's somehting she would regret down the road? looking back, and wondering if it was a comprimise she had to make? No, I'm not getting ready to propose, but I am looking at this with the long view, and I'm trying to decide how to continue. Anyone who's gone through any of this, I'd really appreciate your feedback or your experiences Thanks!