To comment solely on the physical aspect, I find intercourse less pleasurable with someone who is relatively tight and much more pleasurable with someone who is more accommodating. For example, my last partner was fairly tight and intercourse was unfortunately not often especially good for me compared to past partners who were less tight. I thought I was in a minority since just about every word on the issue, except between partners, advocates tightness being highly desirable.
I also found that, I suspect because of my girth and despite lots of wetness, sex seems to work and feel better with a partner who has larger, more externalized labia minora. I have heard, more from females than males, that larger and more exposed labia minora are undesirable or unattractive. This always puzzled me since I think they're rather wonderful and great for oral sex.