Do any women prefer giving blowjobs over other sexual acts?

Discussion in 'Ask a Woman' started by Loving2012, Nov 7, 2012.

  1. Loving2012

    Loving2012 Member

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    I just want to make sure I'm not alone. I'm a woman that prefers blowjobs over intercourse. I don't know what it is about blowjobs that turn me on so much, but it just does.

    I've been told I'm weird by a few people for thinking that good sex is just a blowjob and not doing intercourse. Intercourse can be difficult for me, because I need SO MUCH work and foreplay done. There are days where my body just doesn't cooperate with something entering me, so it's easier to do other sexual acts. Mind others, I've been told there's nothing medically wrong with me. I think the pain is just my vaginal muscles not being relaxed enough.

    What about you? Is it really that rare for a woman to get tremendous pleasure from giving a blowjob? I have even heard that women don't enjoy giving bj's.
     
  2. HiddenLacey

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    Go to a different physician. There are conditions like vaginismus and adhesions that cause pain during intercourse. Of course stds can also cause pain, I'm assuming you've checked those possibilities already based on your post, what one physician doesn' t have experience with another will. If you're in pain something is wrong don' t let anyone tell you otherwise.

    Does it give me pleasure to give a blowjob, yes.... would I rather give a blowjob over having sex, no. I'm pretty selfish and I like to get pleasure myself. Something I doubt I would get from just pleasing a man.
     
  3. Loving2012

    Loving2012 Member

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    Honey, I'm able to take in a 7 inch vibrator when I masturbate alone and I was also able to have easy penetration with my last serious boyfriend. If I had vaginismus, why would I be able to have a vibrator and my last boyfriend glide in easily inside me? I've asked three female physicians to look at me, and they've all said the same thing. "Nothing is wrong with you."

    It's just that SOME guys cause pain and these are either guys that are very big, aren't skilled at proper foreplay or are guys that I'm not in love with or trust.

    I'm STD free as well.

    Everyone is different when it comes to sex. I get more turned on by giving pleasure to the other person. It's how I am and I can't change that about me.
     
    #3 Loving2012, Nov 7, 2012
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  4. Loving2012

    Loving2012 Member

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    But, how do you like knowing that I may need a ton of foreplay to let a penis enter in me? I've heard a lot of guys aren't into that and just want to wildly thrust with no effort.

    I know people mean well, but why do people assume that a medical condition must be the cause of pain? I think it's more of a mental/psychological block for me and the other women I've talked to.
     
    #4 Loving2012, Nov 7, 2012
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  5. Loving2012

    Loving2012 Member

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    Then we're a good fit then! A recent male partner was frustrated that he couldn't penetrate me all the way, but he was really big and wide....and that feels a little weird to me. He said that constant blowjobs get old after awhile. As a giver, I don't think I will ever get tired of giving bj's! :tongue:

    I need to meet more men like you, lol
     
    #5 Loving2012, Nov 7, 2012
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  6. Loving2012

    Loving2012 Member

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    ^Thanks for the reply. I think some people just assume others are like them?

    It's good to have a balance of givers and receivers. I wouldn't want to be with a man that just wanted to go down on me all day. I need a man that loves to receive and lets me be in charge of giving him pleasure.
     
  7. Chaotica

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    Are you on any birth control pills, or anything else hormonal such as the patch or depo provera?
     
  8. bbj

    bbj New Member

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    I like giving bjs during other acts (69), like throatfucking.. it's better when he's playing with your vagina and ass, makes bj a lot more stimulating for me. I wouldn't prioritize that over regular sex, but I wouldn't say I don't prefer it either?
     
  9. Loving2012

    Loving2012 Member

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    I'm on birth control, bc I gave an allergy to latex condoms. The best intercourse I have has is only with a man that I love and felt emotionally safe with. He was 8 inches, but thin and fit easily. If I don't trust you, chances are my body won't open up to you. I can't control what my body shuts off. Blowjobs are easy bc I don't need 30 to 60 minutes of stimulation.
     
  10. DownandDirty

    DownandDirty New Member

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    I like giving head... But I would definitely not say that I enjoy it more than sex.

    I dunno... There have been times where I get really excited when being down there on someone and I can't help but hop and and finish him that way...


    My roommate has a hard time having sex though because she has to be in a certain mood and she doesn't produce enough lube so she has to use it all the time. She's the only other person I've known of that had that issue though... Hmm!
     
  11. Loving2012

    Loving2012 Member

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    I'm sure most women in reality wouldn't be open about this issue. A lot of women just keep quiet about painful sex to look normal.

    If you go to a women's sex forum, the issue of painful or unpleasurable sex is pretty common.

    It's useful to know that I have a sexual trauma history, which has also contributed me to being so turned off from penetration. It's going to take a patient, loving and gentle man to help me re-learn what good penetration feels like.
     
  12. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Loving, the longer I stay here the more I learn about other women and their proclivities. Then mine don't seem so strange. Just different.

    I love giving oral sex to my lover because it turns him on so much. That's really the only reason for me. About the only enjoyment I personally receive it the feeling of being fully in control of my mate. I do have fun, but I'm very goal oriented.

    I definitely do not prefer it over intercourse, but I'd rate getting oral sex over intercourse as well.

    I think healthy lovemaking involves all of it in generous doses.
     
  13. Loving2012

    Loving2012 Member

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    There are times where I wonder if I'm meant to be in a lesbian relationship, since lesbian sex is mostly oral as well as other things. If all heterosexual women are supposed to get crazy orgasms from intercourse, then I guess I'm not a true heterosexual.

    I do have a strong attraction to women, but liking blowjobs means that I can't be fully lesbian. But, I can live without a penis penetrating me.
     
  14. Jillang

    Jillang Member

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    I guess you could say I like giving blow jobs more sometimes, not all the time though. It just depends on my mood, I'm kind of like you though, if I'm too stressed or can't really get into it I tense up, dont lubricate well and sex isn't always enjoyable. I personally like my bf's reactions and the control I have over him. It really excites me to know I'm physically in control over him and can make him so excited and happy so easily.
     
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  15. Loving2012

    Loving2012 Member

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    Thank you! Your post made my day. Another example of how anxiety or a lack of mental stimulation affects sex.
     
  16. sanaxx

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    definitely prefer giving a BJ over intercourse. there have been times in the past that I just wanted to suck on something for a while and did't expect anything in return. I love knowing my partner is feeling pleasure from what I'm doing to him. it excites me like mad sometimes!

    other times, I want nothing more than to have a nice healthy round of the old in and out. just depends on my mood. i'm good with no intercourse sometimes, but not as a long term thing.

    but, yeah, definitely get excited over giving a BJ to my partner more than anything else.
     
  17. Chaotica

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    Were you taking the birth control pill at the same time that you were with the guy who was 8 inches and thinner?

    (Quoting:)"Vulvovaginal specialist Andrew T. Goldstein, MD, notes, “ the users of oral contraceptive pills are 660 percent more likely to develop vestibulodynia as compared to non-users.”

    You could try the lambskin's condom instead of the latex condoms and bcp and see if that helps?

    And maybe one more trip to a doctor to rule out any yeast or bacterial infection. I went for years giving BJs due to vaginal pain, which was caused by hormonal wackiness. It will make you feel better if you rule everything out medically.
     
  18. Loving2012

    Loving2012 Member

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    Hi chaotica-do they rule out infections during your pap smear? When I got that done recently, everything came back normal. What kind of doctor would I see to rule out anything else? I have only seen pcp's. I have heard horror stories about ob gyn's not knowing much about sex in the long run. I wonder if a sex therapist is worth it.
     
  19. Chaotica

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    No.

    A pcp would work fine. I saw a GP (pretty much the same thing). Ask directly for a test for yeast infection and bacterial vaginosis. If you test positive, antibiotics should clear it up right away. It treats the symptom, but not the underlying problem.
    I know what you mean about OB-gyns not knowing anything about sex. Plus they're going to want to keep pushing the bcp, probably. It sucks.
     
  20. SprinkleMe69

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    Since I have no libido at the moment (haven't for a few months), the thought of giving a bj isn't off the table. What can I say, I'm a giver. :smile: