Do Asexuals Really Exist?

[earllogjam]

Do you know of a person who never has sex, has no desire to have sex, and is not sexually or romantically attracted to anybody? Don't say the Pope.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

It must be possible as many of the tv newsmagazines have done stories on these people.

 

[B_Stronzo]

Yes. Asexuals exist.

I had a grandaunt who was one and I've met several along the way.

It must be terribly restful.

 

[Principessa]

Do you know of a person who never has sex, has no desire to have sex, and is not sexually or romantically attracted to anybody? Don't say the Pope.

I find it beyond incomprehensible; but yes they do exist. A dear friend has unfortunately been married to an asexual man for over 23 years. :frown1: She guesstimates that in that time they have maybe had sex 10 times; and that she initiated each and every one of those encounters.

 

[_avg_]

I met a girl once that fit the bill. Totally oblivious to sexuality. Although, in hindsight, she might have been slightly retarded; she fit that bill, too.

Anyways, I wouldn't rule it out -- but I would like to see someone who is genuinely asexual in the sense that they never masturbated or even thought to...honestly. ("95% of all people have [masturbated] and the other 5% are liars," with apologies to Samuel Clemens)

 

[rob_just_rob]

Do you know of a person who never has sex, has no desire to have sex, and is not sexually or romantically attracted to anybody? Don't say the Pope.

Your not knowing any asexuals doesn't mean they don't exist.

It is impossible to answer your question because I am not privy to all of my acquaintances' sexual desires or sexual/romantic attractions (or lack thereof). That said, I do have a friend who gave up on dating at 28, is now 37, and seems pretty comfortable with that situation.

 

[Enid]

i have been medicationally (?) asexual. for 3 years in my younger years i was on an anti-psychotic sedative for TS. i defo did not have any libido then nor did i masturbate. now i make up for it. and how.

 

[rbkwp]

Yep'
bit of anything n everything
...in us all
enz
(dont know of a person
-but i BELIEVE'

 

[earllogjam]

I've known more than a few men who married women and divorced in their 30's when they discovered they really loved having sex with other men and not their wife. I suppose during their marriage they would have been thought of as "asexual" at least to their wife.

Then there are people I know who are single, don't date and never bring up the topic of relationships. I would think many single elderly people are asexual simply because they don't have a sex partner.

 

[earllogjam]

Your not knowing any asexuals doesn't mean they don't exist.

It is impossible to answer your question because I am not privy to all of my acquaintances' sexual desires or sexual/romantic attractions (or lack thereof). That said, I do have a friend who gave up on dating at 28, is now 37, and seems pretty comfortable with that situation.

9 years without sex? Ugh.

Welcome back Rob...congrats on 4000 posts. :wink:

 

[joyboytoy79]

I have a friend who has dated only because she felt compelled to (mostly by her mother, who is concerned that her only daughter hasn't spawned any chillens by the ripe old age of 26). She's never had sex. She has no desire to have sex. She has taken drugs that are supposed to increase ones libido and... nada. I don't presume to understand it, but it is.

 

[Principessa]

I've known more than a few men who married women and divorced in their 30's when they discovered they really loved having sex with other men and not their wife. I suppose during their marriage they would have been thought of as "asexual" at least to their wife.

Why are you being intentionally obtuse?! :irked: Your first paragraph is an example of a closet homosexual. :duh:

Then there are people I know who are single, don't date and never bring up the topic of relationships. I would think many single elderly people are asexual simply because they don't have a sex partner.[/QUOTE]Maybe the single people in question, are uncomfortable talking about relationships and sex with you. Usually when a senior citizen loses interest in sex and companionship it is medical or depression related. Also choosing not to have a sexual relationship is called celibacy, NOT asexuality.

My friends husband is a true asexual. He doesn't just not desire his wife. He doesn't desire ANY woman or man. He has had numerous tests done. His testosterone and thyroid levels are normal. He is not depressed. He is asexual.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation describing individuals who do not experience sexual attraction[1][2] or do not have interest in or desire for sex.[3] Sometimes, it is considered a lack of a sexual orientation.[4] One commonly cited study placed the incidence rate of asexuality at 1%.[5]
Asexuality is distinct from celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity. Some asexuals do have sex.[6]
​

 

[earllogjam]

Why are you being intentionally obtuse?! :irked: Your first paragraph is an example of a closet homosexual. :duh:

Then there are people I know who are single, don't date and never bring up the topic of relationships. I would think many single elderly people are asexual simply because they don't have a sex partner.[/QUOTE]Maybe the single people in question, are uncomfortable talking about relationships and sex with you. Usually when a senior citizen loses interest in sex and companionship it is medical or depression related. Also choosing not to have a sexual relationship is called celibacy, NOT asexuality.


FYI - I AM NOT A CLOSET HOMOSEXUAL. I MAKE NO QUALMS ON MY DESIRE FOR LUSTY MALE FLESH.

ALSO ARE NOT ASEXUALS CELIBATE? I THINK YOU ARE SPLITTING UNWANTED HAIRS HERE.

My friends husband is a true asexual. He doesn't just not desire his wife. He doesn't desire ANY woman or man. He has had numerous tests done. His testosterone and thyroid levels are normal. He is not depressed. He is asexual.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation describing individuals who do not experience sexual attraction[1][2] or do not have interest in or desire for sex.[3] Sometimes, it is considered a lack of a sexual orientation.[4] One commonly cited study placed the incidence rate of asexuality at 1%.[5]
Asexuality is distinct from celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity. Some asexuals do have sex.[6]
​

 

[earllogjam]

I have a friend who has dated only because she felt compelled to (mostly by her mother, who is concerned that her only daughter hasn't spawned any chillens by the ripe old age of 26). She's never had sex. She has no desire to have sex. She has taken drugs that are supposed to increase ones libido and... nada. I don't presume to understand it, but it is.

I think it's hard to determine if a person in really asexual in that a person's sexual thoughts and life are for the most part not shared openly with others, as many on this thread have mentioned - hence my question - Do asexuals really exist? How do we really know your friend never had a sexual thought in her life?

 

[Principessa]

FYI - I AM NOT A CLOSET HOMOSEXUAL. I MAKE NO QUALMS ON MY DESIRE FOR LUSTY MALE FLESH.

Sorry if I struck a nerve, I didn't realize we were talking about you.

ALSO ARE NOT ASEXUALS CELIBATE? I THINK YOU ARE SPLITTING UNWANTED HAIRS HERE.

No, I am not splitting hairs, unwanted or otherwise. Celibacy is a choice, a conscious decision. Asexuality is not a choice any more than heterosexuality or homosexuality is a choice. Many true asexuals would love to be able to change, but are physiologically, mentally, and physically unable to do so.

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

i believe asexuals do exist. i have 2 friends, one male and one female who are both in my age group, and have never expressed any interest in sex or anything sexual. sure, they'll discuss the topic of sex, but it's not like they feel they're missing out on it. they both have also never been in relationships either and they're perfectly content that way as well.

 

[2322]

I'm pretty close to asexual. I've never had a relationship and for the most part, I don't care much about sex without meaning. I do masturbate nearly every day and have fantasies, yet for the most part, I'm content to just be who I am.

The not-so-odd thing is that I do imagine what it's like to have a lover; I wonder about straight and gay relationships. I think about what it's like and it seems pleasant. I'm not one to fall in love easily or to enjoy sex just for its pleasures for the most part. I've made some efforts to do so and it's pretty cool but I can take it or leave it. I think that, and my own repressions, have kept me alive this long.

When I get into sex, I really get into it (if that makes sense). If I'm not turned-on, however, I don't feel I'm missing much... usually. There are times though, I wistfully wonder just what I'm missing out on for much of my life. It's more a curio than a concern.

 

[rob_just_rob]

9 years without sex? Ugh.

An asexual might have the same "ugh" reaction to 9 years of thrice-weekly sex. And out of curiosity, how would it feel if someone said "ugh" when they found out you have sex with men?

If a person is happy with his or her sex life and isn't harming anyone, they deserve acceptance, no matter what their sexual orientation is (or is not).

Welcome back Rob...congrats on 4000 posts. :wink:

Thanks.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

I know a guy who's asexual. He's never masturbated, and doesn't even think about sex. He couldn't care less about it, it's weird. And it's for shame, too, because he's incredibly hot. :tongue: