I am gay. I gave myself that label yesterday after an intense discussion with friends. I know I have asked similar questions before, but there is a new element this time, mostly about how society is threatened when people step out of stereotypes and boundaries and about how the whole labeling thing just sucks. So you have all said in the past, don't label yourself, but the thing is I have anxiety regarding the gay tendencies. I blame the homophobia of society. In order to conquer the fear, I indentify as gay. The identity felt empowering. With the label, I felt pretty fearless last night. Already, the next day, I feel like the label is restrictive. "Straight" isn't so restrictive. Some straight guys fuck around with guys. Isn't it a double standard that gay guys can't fuck around with women without the label "bisexual." I don't like the label "bi", and I am not sure I want to get with women who dig bi guys. And I am sure I will end up scaring off some gay guys too with my straight tendencies. Its because most people are comfortable with rigid definitions. Women seem quietly prejudiced against gay guys. Sure, they will be nicer to me now, but I feel that the attention I will ghet now will be more along the lines of talking about guys and shopping rather than them quietly eyeing me as someone who might want to fuck them. I am going to miss that. I hate this whole labeling thing. It sort of cripples my search for love. I have been in love with girls. I have loved guys. Last night my friend who plays in a band triggered my labeling myself as gay when he reminded me while I was talking about being in love with a girlthat I had admitted that I have sabotaged every possibity of sex with girls because deep down I am gay and don't want to do some injustice. Which I only feel because of all the categorizing I have witnessed women doing. I think women do this because they need guys to be very clear on their orientation or they feel threatened. I told my friends GF that I first ackowledged I was at least somewhat gay after smoking pot at 15. She said that that makes me undoubtedly gay since pot smoking brings out the truth. I believe it, of course things happened that day that could have exaggerated that truth. She then said that she "knew all along" that I was gay, which to me seemed like she was making herself comfortable with my declaration rather than having actually known. I think she needed to say that, because on some level she felt threatened when she asked me if I like any guys, and I told her I thought my friend was hot and that I was going to steal him away. I don't like that when I label myself I am automatically nothing but gay with all these other little sub categories like str8 acting that don't mean anything to me if it isn't going to get me the occasional woman. Still, I am gay. And I am proud. I am empowered. Because it is a label I gave myself. I don't like that society labels everyone. Thats where a feeling of powerlessness comes in. Thoughts?