Do gay guys lower their standards for "straight" guys?

HOU_HEADHUNTER

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Okay so me and a few friends got into a heated debate about how gay guys desire straight guys to the point that they are willing to lower their standards just to say they were with a straight guy. I'm gay and I do think that this is partially true because I've witnessed it more so when I was much younger where a bi-curious/straight guy is open to messing around and it's easy for him to get laid based on the sole fact that he doesn't identify as gay. I've also heard from one of my straight friends who self proclaims to be "unattractive" tell me how attractive gay guys come on to him pretty aggressively just because he has gay friends so they assume him to be curious. Chime in with your thoughts if you think this is true or not true.
 

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In the real world, I've never actually known any queer men who had any particular sexual interest in "Straight" men. "Straight" suggests heterosexuality, and therefore a lack of interest in other men, and pragmatically there is no point in wasting one's time with that when there are many men who openly express sexual interest in other men. It's pretty much just been losers online I've observed exhibiting this neurotic interest.
 
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In the real world, I've never actually known any queer men who had any particular sexual interest in "Straight" men. "Straight" suggests heterosexuality, and therefore a lack of interest in other men, and pragmatically there is no point in wasting one's time with that when there are many men who openly express sexual interest in other men. It's pretty much just been losers online I've observed exhibiting this neurotic interest.
Only a small percentage of men identify as gay. And even fewer “openly express sexual interest in other men”. A much larger number of men have incidental, occasional or one-off mm sex, without identifying as gay. Therefore, if you are interested in sex with men, it is pragmatic not to confine your interest to the smaller pool of out gay men. It's just a numbers game. I would think most gay men’s real life experience is that it is not a waste of time. You may think that's immoral but I don’t think there is anything morally wrong with mm sex. How the participants identify is not important.
 
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Re the OP's question, I don’t know whether gay men lower their standards for straight/bicurious men but it stands to reason that it's sometimes true given the greater value attached to being straight in society and the association of straight with masculine.
 

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Do you mean lower their standards in terms of the physical attractiveness of the target?
If so, perhaps there's something to it. I know a lot of gay (and Bi) guys who are attracted to the "maleness" of straight guys, how they carry themselves, etc. When that gets added into the overall attractiveness basket, it makes someone more attractive to some.
If you mean lower their standards in another way, then I'd need to know what you mean.
 
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Okay so me and a few friends got into a heated debate about how gay guys desire straight guys to the point that they are willing to lower their standards just to say they were with a straight guy. I'm gay and I do think that this is partially true because I've witnessed it more so when I was much younger where a bi-curious/straight guy is open to messing around and it's easy for him to get laid based on the sole fact that he doesn't identify as gay. I've also heard from one of my straight friends who self proclaims to be "unattractive" tell me how attractive gay guys come on to him pretty aggressively just because he has gay friends so they assume him to be curious. Chime in with your thoughts if you think this is true or not true.

I have seen a number of gay guys take special effort in hooking up with someone who was perceived as either borderline gay, confused, or by (their definition) straight.

The gay guy may often be seen doing this in order to:

--validate their personal attractiveness an desirability to both gay / straight community.

--demonstrate their seductive skills.

--overcome some personally held feeling of their own lower self worth.

-- experience the thrill of the chase.

--act on some actual feelings of concern for the ( would- be straight) guy and thoughts centered around leading him to some new level of self discovery.

--all of the above.

It is hard to say if any of these behaviors represent a “lowering of standards”. We would need to see that list.

This would make a good topic for another thread.
 

HOU_HEADHUNTER

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Do you mean lower their standards in terms of the physical attractiveness of the target?
If so, perhaps there's something to it. I know a lot of gay (and Bi) guys who are attracted to the "maleness" of straight guys, how they carry themselves, etc. When that gets added into the overall attractiveness basket, it makes someone more attractive to some.
If you mean lower their standards in another way, then I'd need to know what you mean.
By lowering their standards it could be either in attractiveness or in what they personally look for in a partner or a combination of both. Seems like the thrill of the chase gets the best of some gay men and the ultimate conquest is a straight man. The bragging rights that come with being able to say that a straight man engaged sexually with them seems to be a turn on for some. I get it because I used to think like that in the past when I was creeping with guys on my college campus that swore they were straight and had girlfriends. I was never one to argue about someone's sexuality by accusing them of being a liar but just accepted it for what it was.
 

bkmuscledad

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By lowering their standards it could be either in attractiveness or in what they personally look for in a partner or a combination of both. Seems like the thrill of the chase gets the best of some gay men and the ultimate conquest is a straight man. The bragging rights that come with being able to say that a straight man engaged sexually with them seems to be a turn on for some. I get it because I used to think like that in the past when I was creeping with guys on my college campus that swore they were straight and had girlfriends. I was never one to argue about someone's sexuality by accusing them of being a liar but just accepted it for what it was.
A good topic for discussion, in any case. I think it's about the hunt for sure, and the bragging rights. I have found, though, that most of the guys I know who like guys, are most attracted to guys who act like guys, whether it's someone who is straight, or is straight-acting. Of course, that's not an exhaustive survey. It's just what I've noticed as a general trend among the many people I know.
 

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A good topic for discussion, in any case. I think it's about the hunt for sure, and the bragging rights. I have found, though, that most of the guys I know who like guys, are most attracted to guys who act like guys, whether it's someone who is straight, or is straight-acting. Of course, that's not an exhaustive survey. It's just what I've noticed as a general trend among the many people I know.
depends on what you mean by "conquest" - full penetrative sex or just masturbation. More than once when I left home and lived in a bed sit and either had a bud over late and he wanted to stay the night we shared a bed. Nature being what it is I snuggled up close and at some time in the night put my arms round the bud, found his cock grow hard in my hand so naturally I tossed it. The bud now fully awake and compliant but not about to make any reciprocal move even when he shot his load. Better was knowing this wasn't a reason for refusing a bed for the night. I did once try for full penetration with a bud when he really did get a night time erection and I had my back to him, and feeling his cock on my butt pushed so he was in an entering position - but he woke, realised where his cock was and he slowly pulled back and turned over.
 
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deleted847535

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Why lower standards?
So I am a hard no.
I don’t do it for straight guys, don’t do it for young guys, don’t do it for sugar daddies.
 
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Brodie888

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I think it's one of those situations where people are being compensated by having some other need met and for that they are willing to give a hall pass on things they'd normally draw a line.

Eg for some, a guy with big cock/celebrity/money/sense of humor/some fetish can be a bit (insert negative character trait) and still be fuck worthy.
 
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Auggiecakes

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Okay so me and a few friends got into a heated debate about how gay guys desire straight guys to the point that they are willing to lower their standards just to say they were with a straight guy. I'm gay and I do think that this is partially true because I've witnessed it more so when I was much younger where a bi-curious/straight guy is open to messing around and it's easy for him to get laid based on the sole fact that he doesn't identify as gay. I've also heard from one of my straight friends who self proclaims to be "unattractive" tell me how attractive gay guys come on to him pretty aggressively just because he has gay friends so they assume him to be curious. Chime in with your thoughts if you think this is true or not true.

Silly gay men with do anything for a dude that uses three in one body wash.
 

keenobserver

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From my past which included a massive amount of random sex with available willing men in bath houses, bars and public parks, there is not much lower one can go in a traditional moral sense - if that matters. It did not to me. I had (and am available going forward) a lot of sex with a lot of guys who primarily identified as straight. In some cases they liked to think of themselves as "gay 4 pay" or "edgy" or "bi-curious." The only guys I ever really turned down were attitude problem guys, who seemed to be looking for a fight down the road or really unkept unhygienic people - gay or straight. I never felt driven to hit on someone because he was straight - I was only interested in willing. If I got what I wanted, I don't think it was "lowering my standards," rather achieving my goals.
 

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I think it's one of those situations where people are being compensated by having some other need met and for that they are willing to give a hall pass on things they'd normally draw a line.

Eg for some, a guy with big cock/celebrity/money/sense of humor/some fetish can be a bit (insert negative character trait) and still be fuck worthy.

I do agree with this. they "can" be great for one time, but it does not mean you want to have a life/season/year with them. Being one who was "taken advantage of" by a straight guy on a train ride home. (if I'd of known he never intended to reciprocate, I'd of never participated) I know there's very few situations where I'll pursue or even agree to anything sexual with a straight guy.

1. reciprocation. this is about much more than you getting off. I'm here too. there are exceptions, but not many.
2. "they're curious." if they're willing to go through the educating (anotomical) I'm willing to do the playing, If I like their body-type, and if we get along for personalities.

it's not much of a list huh?
 
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chrisrobin

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From my past which included a massive amount of random sex with available willing men in bath houses, bars and public parks, there is not much lower one can go in a traditional moral sense - if that matters. It did not to me. I had (and am available going forward) a lot of sex with a lot of guys who primarily identified as straight. In some cases they liked to think of themselves as "gay 4 pay" or "edgy" or "bi-curious." The only guys I ever really turned down were attitude problem guys, who seemed to be looking for a fight down the road or really unkept unhygienic people - gay or straight. I never felt driven to hit on someone because he was straight - I was only interested in willing. If I got what I wanted, I don't think it was "lowering my standards," rather achieving my goals.
Quite right. Personally I only hit on guys I fancy - or guys hit on me because they fancy me and it has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Yes I've had experiences with guys who wanted to shoot a load and go home to the little lady, but only because I liked them. To many labels out there.
"Before we get naked can you please fill in the following questionnaire - its only ten pages long" .... and in the distance the door slams!
 

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It’s entirely the opposite for me—only straight men who are amazingly handsome, sexy, and muscular (or two of those three) can make me wonder what it’d be like to have sex with them, knowing they’re straight. Or even probably straight.

When I was a good bit younger and the world was a candy store, I had sex with other guys who were available when I was horny. Availability was at the top of my priority list. I told myself I appreciated a lot of body types, which is mostly true, but the most important attribute was that they were available.

NCbear (who was, at the time, just another horny young guy thinking with his smaller head ;))
 
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