Do gay men ever have straight experiences after they come out as gay?

[AfterHours69]

In that sense, ppl would not be able to relate to a label because they have no idea of its meaning. There's a broad understanding of what labels like gay, bi, straight, pan, etc, mean. Of course you can be flexible with it, we're human and not set in stone, but if you go around fucking women, you're not gay.

Of course though, that’s not what’s being argued here. The argument is, if you say you are gay but have done ANYTHING with a woman, or are attracted to a woman ever in any way, you are in fact bi, and by saying you are gay, you are participating in bi-erasure. I find that completely ridiculous.

 

[15153321]

Of course though, that’s not what’s being argued here. The argument is, if you say you are gay but have done ANYTHING with a woman, or are attracted to a woman ever in any way, you are in fact bi, and by saying you are gay, you are participating in bi-erasure. I find that completely ridiculous.

I mean, it's completely out of character for a gay men to be attracted to women. Having an experience in a threesome, cuz you were drunk or just out of curiosity once or twice doesn't make you bi, but being attracted to women? That's not same sex attraction, so it's understandable why ppl would think a person like that was bi.

 

[AfterHours69]

I agree with you about the exception but the topic said "experiences" not experience,if it happens once,then it's an experience,happened twice.... it's heading somewhere not to talk about it happening multiple times with the person enjoying it but choosing to label himself with the label that don't fit them,then I'm sorry for that person because they are definitely in denial

From your second point, it's obvious you lived your whole life as a straight man benefitting from straight privilege because a gay person will definitely know how changing of labels will arm homophobes with the "it's a choice" slogan,it either that or you are stuck in your American and eurocentric bubbles and you think the whole world is like that,go and check that privilege, there are worlds beyond America and Europe

Nice try at figuring out my life by a few posts on a site, but, no.

I don’t know how old you are, but when and where I was growing up, no one really talked about gay. If they did, it was to say that it was bad. It wasn’t on tv. If it was in movies, it was usually a flamboyant caricature used as a joke. And I’m not even that old.

I know someone who has ZERO attraction to women but has been married to a woman his whole adult life, has kids and grandkids even. He loves his wife, but because of religious reasons, he never came out. What a dick move it would have been to say to him after he confided that to me, “Well, you’re actually bisexual because you have a wife you have sex with.” Dick move, and in my opinion, ignorant.

 

[AfterHours69]

I mean, it's completely out of character for a gay men to be attracted to women. Having an experience in a threesome, cuz you were drunk or just out of curiosity once or twice doesn't make you bi, but being attracted to women? That's not same sex attraction, so it's understandable why ppl would think a person like that was bi.

That makes more sense to me, but that’s not what people are saying here. Touch a titty and don’t say, “Eeeew,” you’re bi. I’m joking, but barely

 

[AfterHours69]

I agree with you about the exception but the topic said "experiences" not experience,if it happens once,then it's an experience,happened twice.... it's heading somewhere not to talk about it happening multiple times with the person enjoying it but choosing to label himself with the label that don't fit them,then I'm sorry for that person because they are definitely in denial

You’re parsing words here. “Gay men” is plural, so “experiences” covers one (or more).

 

[sylarrr007]

That makes more sense to me, but that’s not what people are saying here. Touch a titty and don’t say, “Eeeew,” you’re bi. I’m joking, but barely

This is exactly what we are talking about, we are saying the same thing,I think you misunderstood what the argument was all about at first

 

[geraltofrivia]

Do you even know what bisexuality means? You do know bisexuality doesn't mean 50/50 for the attraction to genders right? You do know homoromanticism and heteroromanticism exists for bisexuals right? You do know a person can be attracted to both sexes hence bisexuality but choose to only have romantic relationships with the same sex hence the term homoromantic bisexual right? Because it's like you only think of bisexuality in terms of sexual attraction and not romantic relationships/relationships

* i'm not interested in women except for *peach emoji* (it's not visibile, i write it again)

May i be honest? from the answer you gave me i can tell that you're american. No offense, but you guys seem to be really obsessed with labelling everything.
Of course i don't only think of bisexuality in terms of sex, but this separation between sex and relationships is a very new thing. Sorry but i don't believe in the existence of a "romantic" orientation.

 

[bigboaster]

* i'm not interested in women except for *peach emoji* (it's not visibile, i write it again)

May i be honest? from the answer you gave me i can tell that you're american. No offense, but you guys seem to be really obsessed with labelling everything.
Of course i don't only think of bisexuality in terms of sex, but this separation between sex and relationships is a very new thing. Sorry but i don't believe in the existence of a "romantic" orientation.

So you don't think asexual people can have boyfriends or girlfriends then? Because regardless of if you "believe in it". They absolutely exist good sir. There obviously can be separation between romantic and sexual attraction, not sure how that is even debatable. But whatever.

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

How does having sex with a woman just happen when you're gay?

Tequila.

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

* i'm not interested in women except for *peach emoji* (it's not visibile, i write it again)

May i be honest? from the answer you gave me i can tell that you're american. No offense, but you guys seem to be really obsessed with labelling everything.
Of course i don't only think of bisexuality in terms of sex, but this separation between sex and relationships is a very new thing. Sorry but i don't believe in the existence of a "romantic" orientation.

Gotta love when folks decide that because they personality can't understand something, it doesn't exist. This holds as much weight as when people say they don't believe in homosexuality.

 

[geraltofrivia]

So you don't think asexual people can have boyfriends or girlfriends then? Because regardless of if you "believe in it". They absolutely exist good sir. There obviously can be separation between romantic and sexual attraction, not sure how that is even debatable. But whatever.

I think that everyone is free to do and call themselves the way they want.
I think that separating sexual orientation from romantic orientation is kinda toxic because it's a way to discredit homosexuality and make insicure men even more insicure (they will free to have gay sex because, you know, it's just sex, but never to live the way they are). That is my personal point of view, just mine.
That said, of course bisexuality exists, even more that homosexuality i think, but the line that separates them Is very and it's not for us to say what other people are or are not.

 

[geraltofrivia]

Gotta love when folks decide that because they personality can't understand something, it doesn't exist. This holds as much weight as when people say they don't believe in homosexuality.

i don't understand it and i don't believe in it. I said the word I, that means that i was only talking for myself. If other people believe in whatever they believe i'm happy

 

[Jeffer2580]

So you don't think asexual people can have boyfriends or girlfriends then? Because regardless of if you "believe in it". They absolutely exist good sir. There obviously can be separation between romantic and sexual attraction, not sure how that is even debatable. But whatever.

I was like "wait what?"

 

[Jeffer2580]

I think that everyone is free to do and call themselves the way they want.
I think that separating sexual orientation from romantic orientation is kinda toxic because it's a way to discredit homosexuality and make insicure men even more insicure (they will free to have gay sex because, you know, it's just sex, but never to live the way they are). That is my personal point of view, just mine.
That said, of course bisexuality exists, even more that homosexuality i think, but the line that separates them Is very and it's not for us to say what other people are or are not.

There's a reason it's called homosexuality with the syllable "sex" in it and why there's a term called "homoromantic" with the suffix "romantic" at the end. Go ponder on that for a moment

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

Of course though, that’s not what’s being argued here. The argument is, if you say you are gay but have done ANYTHING with a woman, or are attracted to a woman ever in any way, you are in fact bi, and by saying you are gay, you are participating in bi-erasure. I find that completely ridiculous.

That's ridiculous. I'm not gonna go around pretending to be bi because fooled around with a woman a few times when 99.99999% of my horny thoughts involve men.

Please stop it.

 

[geraltofrivia]

There's a reason it's called homosexuality with the syllable "sex" in it and why there's a term called "homoromantic" with the suffix "romantic" at the end. Go ponder on that for a moment

never heard of anyone calling themselves heteroromantic, biromantic or homoromant

 

[Jeffer2580]

never heard of anyone calling themselves heteroromantic, biromantic or homoromant

Lol.... because they don't have to say it or justify themselves to you