yeah i hope my poll went through if not, just tell me straight forward. is there any possibility a gay man would like a fat guy. because as far as i know, all gay men LOVE athletic guys with big dicks etc. as much muscle as possible, right?
anyway, i remember walking in downtown at one point and this obese individual, not just fat, but HUGE! so he walked past this gay guy, and the gay guy just went "UGH" in complete disgust, very openly, showing disgruntled look. i thought that was so rude! i sure hope not everyone reacts the same way :/
What a great question to open a thread with.
Do gay men hate fat guys? Rarely do they hate them. More often they simply don’t notice them. Sometimes they openly project their own insecurities and body issues onto them in the form of insults and slights and that’s unfortunate, but it’s done more out of insecurity that mean-spiritedness.
The reason that “Depends” was the most selected option on this poll is because it truly does depend. I bet most of the people who answered “Depends” are not stocky guys, but rather fit guys who have found themselves genuinely into bigger guys at some point in their life for reasons they struggle to explain.
So, what does it depend on? It comes down to how a bigger guy carries his weight and how he carries himself.
Now, let’s be clear -- someone who is morbidly obese and has to shop at XL clothing stores won’t be able to compensate for that. Sure, there are few guys out there that fetishize them, but everything will be done behind closed doors most of the time.
If you are merely stocky, it’s like being bald: It makes you rejectable compared to a guy’s other options. Because gay men are such a small percentage of the overall population, we tend to cluster in order to increase the density of gays in an area and give ourselves a fighting chance of finding someone we like as opposed to just settling for what’s nearby. This means that gay man, on average, will have a good number of dating options. This means that a bigger guy will usually be fighting an uphill battle.
As a big guy, you have two options to overcome this disadvantage: 1) Lower your standards; 2) Make the object(s) of your desire a compelling offer that alters their calculation and puts you in the running for their attention.
Lowering your standards it’s self-explanatory.
Let’s focus on how you can capture their attention if you’re a big guy. Here you have two paths: 1) Make yourself appealing; 2) Target guys who are more likely to give you an audience.
Option 2 is easiest… how do you target guys who are more likely to give you an audience? Target guys who are younger and self-conscious about being skinny. There are many gay men who are slim and who don’t like being slim. The younger these types are the more pronounced this will be because they haven’t accepted themselves yet or filled-out. That’s your time to pounce. Often these guys don’t know that they fetishize bigger guys until they meet once but, once they do, they fall hard. Some signs that a guy is self-conscious about being slim include him not hanging out with people his own age (he’s too insecure to do so) or growing facial hair to make himself look more mature. Guys who hate being slim also often hate being twinky. The pornstar Scott DeMarco is a classic example of a slim twinky guy who hated being a slim twink. Again, peak insecurity is your chance to pounce.
If you don’t want to go with the above route and you want to win a guy fair and square, you’re going to need to either be well-known, their boss, distinguished in your field, or rich. Even if you are young and stocky, don’t be about shy about paying a dude to give you an initial audience. Remember, you’re competing with fit guys that he can have. If you click, he will come back and you can ease into a more normal scenario.