Do gay men have less penis anxiety?

[rope9839]

It seems to me that one of the reasons that so many men are concerned about their penis size is that, being straight, they don't have much to compare it to. For the average guy it is probably a rare occurence to see another man's erection in person as an adult. Even with the statistics broadly available, seeds of doubt will remain for many.

On the other hand, even a moderately active gay man will have a number of "comparables." They will have an opportunity to see how they stack up against a broad sample. It would seem that, even if you are on the low end of the bell curve, it gives you a chance to deal with it and move on. No real mysteries.

To a degree, it would also seem that porn probably makes this worse on the straight guy, since most of the organs are at least above average in size. In my case, my flaccid cock is about 6" x 5", or right around the average for most erections. Looking at this and imagining that it was all I had as an erection, it sure wouildn't seem like much.

Opinions?

 

[lellelind]

Yes. I believe so, and you describe exactly why.

 

[kurios]

I would have thought it would be the opposite. If as a straight guy you havent seen many others to compare with and what you have works why would it be an issue. There isnt a standard.
For what it is worth I would think that the more dicks you saw the more you would tend to compare especially if many of them were bigger than yours and to me that is what would trigger the concern. Nothing to compare with = no problem

 

[LuckyLuke]

Originally posted by kurios@Sep 11 2004, 08:05 PM
I would have thought it would be the opposite. If as a straight guy you havent seen many others to compare with and what you have works why would it be an issue. There isnt a standard.
For what it is worth I would think that the more dicks you saw the more you would tend to compare especially if many of them were bigger than yours and to me that is what would trigger the concern. Nothing to compare with = no problem

[post=255671]Quoted post[/post]​

I think Rope9839's post is a good one. Personally I'm gay and I never really considered by cock to be that big - until I discovered that the overwhelming majority of other guys have 5" to 6" - now I realize just how big mine is.

As for the argument that straight guys "Nothing to compare with = no problem", I think that is wrong. It has always been one's own mind (and fears of unknowns) that causes psychological issues. Psychological 'problems' almost never are 'caused' by others (or seeing others). In other words, the problem is always inside one's own head.

Many guys think that their perfectly average 5" to 6" cocks are small. Having experience with gays means one likely discovers that one's 6" cock is very, very normal and that would (I think) be rather assuring to most guys, since any amount of exposure to a variety of male cocks is bound to show a very high propensity of 5"-6" cocks.

 

[txquis]

Everyone will have a different take on this,
but as a gay guy,
i think i have been more anxious because
i have had more to compare with...
is mine going to be as big as his?
is mine going to be the size he is used to or prefers?
is it going to be to big or too small for this partner?
is the world coming to an end?
did i remember to turn off the coffee pot?
that kind of thing.

 

[ponybilt]

Haha, Txquis, you crack me up

I think Rope's assessment and deduction are valid. There are, however, differences in one's personal need to know so the answer is different for guys. Some guys may have lots to compare, but are still concerned about measuring up. Others may have no opportunity to compare and either don't care, or are curious enough to be frustrated in not knowing.

 

[alpinepaul]

i think for gay men having a very small dick is a bigger problem than for straight guys. because u get in situations of comparision everytime u have sex. it is also that u feel an other cock than urs, and it definitly feels different from ur own. and maybe it feels better. this is an experience an average straight man has not.
at last, sex is the one major theme in the gay scene, and so are dicks. there are rumors on every gay guy who visits bars and clubs, either that he is huge or that he is small. i guess it is not a common theme in the straight clubs talking about the dicks of the guests.

me personally, i guess i would not prefer it if my boyfriend's dick would be bigger than mine. not that i would get neurotic, but a situation not pleasurable. even if we have only half an inch difference. so i imagine a real small dick can be a real challenge for a relationship.

 

[hungthick]

I was asked by a guy larger than me if his size was threatening to me before we had sex because he said that lots of guys cannot cope with his size being so much larger.

My favorite saying is 'i would rather the other guy have a bigger cock than me because what i have i see all the time and i can have much more fun if the big dick is on the other guy.' (does that make sense)

Do i get anxiety about my size? Yes, because i dont like it when someone tells me i am big it adds too much pressure for me to perform like a stallion or something.

Do I get anxiety when i see a bigger cock than own? Usually i just want to suck their cock and i dont want them to touch mine--once again 'a bigger cock is more fun on someone else.' i usually say, "I can get sucked by anyone so i just want to concentrate on you."

 

[B_RoysToy]

Originally posted by hungthick@Sep 12 2004, 06:53 PM

My favorite saying is 'i would rather the other guy have a bigger cock than me because what i have i see all the time and i can have much more fun if the big dick is on the other guy.' (does that make sense)

It makes lots of sense to me, bungthick, b/c I feel the same way. I have mine to play with 24/7, so I want a partner to be bigger than me to make me feel I've gotta special trea.

Do i get anxiety about my size? Yes, because i dont like it when someone tells me i am big it adds too much pressure for me to perform like a stallion or something.

The more I'm told I have a big dick, the hotter and harder I get. Just talk to me about size and I automatically enlarge.

Do I get anxiety when i see a bigger cock than own? Usually i just want to suck their cock and i dont want them to touch mine--once again 'a bigger cock is more fun on someone else.' i usually say, "I can get sucked my anyone so i just want to concentrate on you." Is that selfish to withold one's cock for the sake of another? (does that make sense) it usually doesnt work though because then it becomes a domination thing and we start having out of control sex all wild and shit.

[post=255772]Quoted post[/post]​

Once again, since I respond exactly as you except with the getting out of control thing. The domination of the big dick guy, I can live with, but it does depend on just how "too" wild and shit it gets.

Luke

 

[13788]

lighthouse: I became a lot more confident in myself after I started hooking up with guys. I quickly realised that I was on the larger side of the curve. I did not know this back when I was 'cooking fish'. I had a GF who always straddled - she said so she could control how deep it went and that it would hurt if I went too far. I figured this was because she was small (5'2") and not anything about me. I had only seen flaccid penises in lockers/ showers & since I don't hang all that great, I figured I was on the small to average range. It was not until I was able to compare my erection to another erection immediately at hand that I knew that I was on the bigger side.

 

[jeepwranglerboi]

I would have to say that I definately get anxious when it comes down to it. I always feel like my size may be a let down for some. Now granted I have a big dick and I know I have a big dick, all my friends know I have a big dick but I feel like it gets talked up way too much. I always feel like people are expecting this gigantic schlong that hangs at my knees or something. So, with my expectations of what they are expecting I often get anxiety but it never lasts for too long. I've only ever been with 2 or 3 guys bigger than me before so needless to say I've never let anyone down when it comes to size, however I also want to make it clear that I am a lot more than a large penis!