Do Gay Men Play by a Different Set of Rules?

[B_Hung Muscle]

"Promoting homosexuality" -- buzzwords of the homophobes.

 

[B_Italian1]

The Joy of Gay Sex

Trust me, there are. Lots. You should read them instead of opining on things you clearly have no knowledge about. It really shows your ignorance.

And, Italian, for the record, the Joy of Gay Sex does NOT promote sex between an 11 year old and ANYONE else. I've read the book years ago. You should do the same before you start typing.

Well if there are lots of them, how about posting a link to a book that's more positive than that? And you call me ignorant. I clicked Bucko's link and that is what it said. What am I going blind? Did anyone else out there see what Publishers Weekly said about that book?

 

[Big en]

I genuinely believe it is a man thing. There are exceptions to the rule but...men like to spread their seed.

I guess a better question is do you believe that the idea of a relationship is a social/religious construct? If you do then should we not all go forth and forage for goodies?

It is very personal thing....

 

[Strontium]

...
straight example: ladies.... if you were on your first date, and some one asked you how tight your pussy was, or if I liked to get fucked in the ass, he would probably be wearing his dinner and/or drink...right?

yes we have different rules...

I'll have to try that line the next time (if ever) I'm on a str8 date.

 

[str82fcuk]

for the record, the Joy of Gay Sex does NOT promote sex between an 11 year old and ANYONE else. I've read the book years ago. You should do the same before you start typing.

I am glad you gave us your positive review of the book from someone who has actually read the book because I think that such hateful disinformation should not be permitted to stand unchallenged ....

 

[cocktaste]

I genuinely believe it is a man thing. There are exceptions to the rule but...men like to spread their seed.

I guess a better question is do you believe that the idea of a relationship is a social/religious construct? If you do then should we not all go forth and forage for goodies?

It is very personal thing....

People are just fucking horny. There are promiscuous men and women. Sex is there for a reason and it isn't just about procreation. Without sex, no one would even be talking to one another. It's their for sociability and for calming people down. Unfortunately there are people who forget to use a condom, or get into a monogamous relationship. It's quite ridiculous that when a woman sleeps around, she's a slut. Puhleeze, people like sex for a reason. It feels good, and gets rid of stress.

 

[cocktaste]

I don't care about how many lawyer-like arguments there are, a gay man in the closet, or on the DL, is a desperate man whose need to fit into the hetero culture cheats an innocent woman. It's wrong, it's rotten, but....I'll admit, I almost did it myself and cheated a few superb women. I finally accepted my own homosexuality, and made some apologies and got on with it. NO, the standards are based on human compassion, there are none excusing gay men of uncompassionate behavior. (of course, this is IMHO :wink

This is why people need to be taught early on, that if they are gay, their gay. Get on with it.

 

[cocktaste]

Is this an Acey Duecey / Backgamon question?

The simple answer is "yes" because there are no set socially accepted conventions for our relationships. We kind of are making it up as we go along. Some gay couples like to emulate straight marriage because it is a known tradition and the rules are established which makes everything easier. But many find the roles of man and wife don't relate very well to two gay men or lesbians and that the convention does not serve them very well, especially if they don't have kids.

The complicated answer is "no" because there are as many straight permeatations of coupledom as gay - if not more.

This is exactly spot on. This is why homosexuality needs to be out in the forefront from a very early age. This is also the reason why gay marriage is absolutely essential. Marriage is good for society, it gives direction, and it aims to keep people monogamous. That's if you so choose to get married, but at least there is direction.

 

[cocktaste]

There were a few great responses on here, I myself as a gay man for a bazillion years now, find it very interesting that gay men are as promiscuous as they are. When your younger and trying to find out who you are and what you like, as far as sex goes, is one thing, but to live your whole life going from bed to bed or dick to dick? How is that fulfilling? Its just temporary. I have been in 4 relationships, and everyone of them have ended because of infidelity, on their part. So after a few months, you try the dating pool again to see whats out there, and happen to meet the nicest guy in the world, only to to find out that he is in an open relationship or you date him for a few months and find out from someone else that he is involved in a relationship for the last 10 years, and your just his flavor of the month. That has happened to me more often then not. Why cant a gay man just be happy with who he's with? Why do we have to search for the ulimate dick, or the cutest face or the nicest ass? I was a bartender in gay bars for many years, I have heard every pickup line in the book, watched many couples break up over promiscuous behavior, and infidelity, watched sweet innocent people get hurt, and watched highly respected people in the community enter bathhouses, cruising at parks, or rest stops while his partner is at a different bathhouse park or whatever. Its sad, and its no wonder gay people get a bad rap. Granted I was brought up old school, in an itty-bitty town, and was basically brought up by Ward and June Cleaver. AND, that is the type of gay relationship I would like to find and have been searching for almost 30 yrs. It doesnt exist. I find it very difficult to believe that there is very many, IF ANY, genuine monogamous gay men out there. So my thought is... that gay men do live under a few different rules than straight people.

example: gay guys.... how many times when you are on a first date, do you ask or get asked, how big is your dick?, are you a top or bottom, and end up touching each others peepees in the bathroom, or just skipped the movies and went home and had sex?

straight example: ladies.... if you were on your first date, and some one asked you how tight your pussy was, or if I liked to get fucked in the ass, he would probably be wearing his dinner and/or drink...right?

yes we have different rules...

Anyone who writes, "Ward and June Cleaver", is full of shit and needs to be on a therapist's couch, pronto! You are completely beyond transparent.


"straight example: ladies.... if you were on your first date, and some one asked you how tight your pussy was, or if I liked to get fucked in the ass, he would probably be wearing his dinner and/or drink...right?"

Depends on where she was meeting him. Was this in some seedy gay bar?

 

[str82fcuk]

who or what is or was "Ward and June Cleaver" ?

 

[B_Monster]

Well if there are lots of them, how about posting a link to a book that's more positive than that? And you call me ignorant. I clicked Bucko's link and that is what it said. What am I going blind? Did anyone else out there see what Publishers Weekly said about that book?

Italian you wouldnt agree if everyone wore a chastity belt, your just an old gay/straight prude, why dont you change those percentage to 100% PRUDE

 

[cocktaste]

You've got to be kidding. Out of all the books out there you post a link to one that says:

"From Publishers Weekly
As the authors suggest in their introduction, some readers, gay and straight, will be offended by this book's nonjudgmental, even accepting attitude toward "the kinkier aspects of erotic life." These activities include sex with animals, sadomasochism and "intergenerational love affairs" such as the relationship between an 11-year-old boy and a 21-year-old man."

If you're going to link to a book, how about one with a more positive message? That stinks!

I've never read the book, so I don't know. The book was written in the early 70s though. Sometimes, certain books take a philosophical approach to certain issues, especially ones that are not comfortable discussing. Of course anything illegal is not okay. Although, if you're not planning to have sex with an animal, (lol), I think you'll be okay. However, if you looking for a "positive" book out there, there are tons. This is more of an old, dusty, book that you would find from another time. Believe me, just do a search on gay sex, on amazon, and you'll find them. If you want a historic, and someone funny read, then pick up the "Joys of Gay Sex", just for it's time period.

 

[B_Monster]

What is the inference? Perhaps such posts as these reflect why you're considered:

Are you that ignorant? I'm sure there are some really good books about homosexuality out there. Did you even read what Publishers Weekly said about that book? Probably not. I'm not sure how a book that promotes beastiality and sex between a 11 year old boy and 21 year old man is positive.

You are a homophobe Italian, why not admit it and pack your lpsg.org bag and leave. your not a happy person here, why are you here? You object to everything, your just not a happy old camper are you?

 

[B_Monster]

There you go again. Why do you care so much about homosexuality? Is it ruining America? Will God lift his hand of grace from our country because gay men and lesbians are living their lives openly, and discussing their sexuality and relationships in the same way heterosxuals do?

One cardinal law of LPSG: if there's a thread about gay sex, you can count on Italian978 to jump on it and spew some half-baked, ill-advised, judgemental misinformed ideas.

He on the virtual and permanate RAG!!!

 

[whatireallywant]

who or what is or was "Ward and June Cleaver" ?

The parents on the 1950s TV show "Leave It to Beaver"

Leave It to Beaver - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[B_Italian1]

Iwhy dont you change those percentage to 100% PRUDE

For someone who has me on ignore, you follow me around like a puppy. I'll change my percentage when you change yours to 100% gay.

The book was written in the early 70s though. Sometimes, certain books take a philosophical approach to certain issues, especially ones that are not comfortable discussing....However, if you looking for a "positive" book out there, there are tons. This is more of an old, dusty, book that you would find from another time.

True. And sometimes they update books to reflect the times. The poster should have referenced another book rather than one that mentions bestiality and pedophilia in the review.

You are a homophobe Italian, why not admit it and pack your lpsg.org bag and leave. your not a happy person here, why are you here? You object to everything, your just not a happy old camper are you?

You're a heterophobe, and you should deal with your own dirty laundry. A poster found your pics on another man's profile on another site. Nobody knows whether they are yours or his. If they are yours, that's what you get for playing online sex games. You like rape videos and I don't. I guess I'm a really bad person.

 

[T-Lex]

Okay, I typically stay out of spats such as these, but I think I must speak to the defense of Italian978 (and this coming from a gay man).

I believe he is misunderstood. When he clicked Bbucko's link (as did I), it takes you to a page on Amazon.com that gives a description of the book "The Joy of Gay Sex." There is contained a book review from Publisher's Weekly that says (quote): "some readers, gay and straight, will be offended by this book's nonjudgmental, even accepting attitude toward 'the kinkier aspects of erotic life.' These activities include sex with animals, sadomasochism and 'intergenerational love affairs' such as the relationship between an 11-year-old boy and a 21-year-old man. These repugnant sections of this revised edition of a 1977 guide to male/male relationships mar an otherwise useful volume."

This quote is from the Publisher's Weekly book review, not a quote directly from Italian978.

Personally, I've never read the book and probably won't...so I can't say if Publisher's Weekly review is accurate or not. However, what I believe Italian978 is trying to say is that if gay men and women want to be accepted and perceived as a normal part of society, then we need better examples that typify who we are, instead of stuff that just reinforces negative stereotypes (such as discussions of a relationship between an 11-year-old boy and a 21-year-old man or sex with animals. I think we'd all agree, gay or straight, that these behaviors are abnormal).

As for whether Italian978 is a homophobe, gay basher, etc., I can assure you he is not. I've had several private conversations with him and found him to be very accepting and welcoming of homosexuals. No, maybe he can't speak from experience. But maybe he does have a point that if we want to change public perception, we have to start by setting a better example that is contradictory to the negative stereotypes that the public associates with homosexuality -- most of which I would dare say we would all like to shed.

All that being said, I'm not taking sides in this debate...I just think that maybe Italian978's position is being misunderstood and he is being unfairly judged as something that I don't believe he is.

Let's listen to each other with an open mind before we so quickly and harshly judge each other...shall we?

There, I've had my say and I'll leave this discussion to the rest of you. Peace.