- Joined
- Aug 5, 2019
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- Runcorn (Halton, England)
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- Male
Background, I am a 41 year old who until about 1 year ago was very inexperienced sexually and also didn't have any real friends and practically no social life. Just over 1 year ago I made two friends, guys who live very close to me who are both gay and already knew each other although not particularly closely. One is my age the other is a bit younger at 33.
Over the last year I have become increasingly close to one of the guys (the younger one) and we hang out on average a couple of times a week and exchange messages when not together. I now consider him my best friend and I'd like to think I'm one of his. However pretty soon after meeting I realised I had stronger feelings for him but he'd already made comments about not mixing friendships with sex and so on. I wasn't sure whether what I was feeling was genuine "love" in a romantic sense or just a "I don't wanna lose him" lust/wanting a stronger friendship.
I have mixed feelings as to whether this guy would feel the same, He has made a number of complements about my body and aspects of my looks, has improved my dress sense and generally built up my confidence. We spend time together like a couple would except for the sex but the biggies that make me think he doesn't see me that way and never will are I'm not his usual type. He generally goes for twinky younger guys, has made no secret of looking for other guys to date and as I said has pointed out he wouldn't fool around sexually with a friend as it risks alienating them or changing the atmosphere.
That is my big fear, that if I say anything even if I say I'm confused about how I feel it could change things between us and I could possibly lose the best thing that has ever happened to my life however as my friend has once again started going on dates with other guys I am getting increasingly jealous and don't know how to handle it. I think my plan has been spend as much time together as possible and eventually he may grow to feel the same way about me as I feel about him but is that just fooling myself?
Over the last year I have become increasingly close to one of the guys (the younger one) and we hang out on average a couple of times a week and exchange messages when not together. I now consider him my best friend and I'd like to think I'm one of his. However pretty soon after meeting I realised I had stronger feelings for him but he'd already made comments about not mixing friendships with sex and so on. I wasn't sure whether what I was feeling was genuine "love" in a romantic sense or just a "I don't wanna lose him" lust/wanting a stronger friendship.
I have mixed feelings as to whether this guy would feel the same, He has made a number of complements about my body and aspects of my looks, has improved my dress sense and generally built up my confidence. We spend time together like a couple would except for the sex but the biggies that make me think he doesn't see me that way and never will are I'm not his usual type. He generally goes for twinky younger guys, has made no secret of looking for other guys to date and as I said has pointed out he wouldn't fool around sexually with a friend as it risks alienating them or changing the atmosphere.
That is my big fear, that if I say anything even if I say I'm confused about how I feel it could change things between us and I could possibly lose the best thing that has ever happened to my life however as my friend has once again started going on dates with other guys I am getting increasingly jealous and don't know how to handle it. I think my plan has been spend as much time together as possible and eventually he may grow to feel the same way about me as I feel about him but is that just fooling myself?