I get your meaning...
I think we are all different. There is a lot of Fet life where the women take dominant roles and the men spend their time being passive. Freaking huge scary I could break you in half men crawl around on their hands and knees for little women in rocking boots.
Personally I am definitely more passive, BUT that doesn't mean I'm a starfish. I like to give and take. Sometimes I may want to take control of the situation. I want to be on top, I want it to be fast and wild clothes ripped and grip marks left behind the next day.
Sometimes I just want to share in the moment.
However, mostly I want to feel his hands on my body and close my eyes and feel nothing but him all around me. The way he looks and smells and tastes and feels should overwhelm my senses. That is normally what I think about when I think of sex. I just want to focus on him, well us together.