Do men NEED to be able to admire one another?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_Guy Love, Mar 20, 2007.

  1. B_Guy Love

    B_Guy Love New Member

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    Lately, I've been thinking about the fact that in just about all societies throughout history there has been a need for men to admire one another. It's seen as a part of the development of being male, of being a man.

    Any thoughts?
     
  2. DC_DEEP

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    People just have an innate need to admire other people, I think.

    In the United States, though, it's generally more acceptable for one man to admire another through inanimate objects, rather than the man himself. You can admire a man because he has a hot car or a hot woman on his arm or plays professional sports; you can't admire a man because he is handsome or intelligent. You have to have some kind of disconnect.
     
  3. B_Guy Love

    B_Guy Love New Member

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    Good point.
     
  4. Whopper-lee

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    Ok Guy Love I'll take a punch with a thoughtful article I ran across that can relate:
    "....The truth is, men are not ordinarily encouraged to develop deep friendships with each other. But if a man is lucky enough to find that 'main man', then he discovers the real meaning of best friend"- and strength.
    To the same degree, admiration for one another works the same way.
    However, take notice of who and what males are being admired now in our
    Am. society and the world around and I'll show you the decline of this element of development you speak of.
    Something my grandpa said to my mother long ago when she was having a problem raising and understanding me were these words ...
    A woman can give brith to a male child...but it takes a good man to raise another man well inspite of...
    I never really got it, until the birth of my sons when I found these words ever so true... it's not as easy as it sounds...ask a mother or a woman that's willing to admit it and who has tried it!

    "The way a man, relates to man, reflects in his soul for self as well as for others"...my written thought & quote.:wink:

    Whopper-lee
     
  5. hung

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    Unfortunately we are no longer a hunter society. Men taking Sons out to acquire food.

    We are no longer an agricultural society. Men taking Sons out to plant so they will also have food.

    Dad to Son Bonding is best performed in our current society in Youth Sports, except for the fact that the "Win at all Cost" mantra must be eliminated. Youth Sports should be fun and nothing more. The youth will keep score.

    We do not need yelling fans (parents/grandparents) in the stands.

    That is why sandlot games were so enriching for the participants. Dad was working and Mom was cooking or knitting. (Sounds sexist), but it did work.
     
  6. B_josiah852

    B_josiah852 New Member

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    This is one way we brag also.

     
  7. DC_DEEP

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    Ha, right Josiah. What is bragging, except self-admiration?
     
  8. B_josiah852

    B_josiah852 New Member

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    Yes, Self admiration, needing to be accepted, some may be a little insecure, feeling the need to prove oneself ?

     
  9. D_Garmanswait Glassnads

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    Maybe we should only feed our sons if they play youth sports? maybe.. I dunno.

    My dad left when I was 3 and I only moved in with him 2 years ago. I'm not sure I would have benefitted from him being around or not, I ended up identical to him without any effort on his behalf and my mum's more 'male" then he is. My mum is a land lady and works with the police, she's often getting into fights and usually wins, she has little if any vanity and has a wierd man and dog relationship with our pet akita.
     
  10. D_Coyne Toss

    D_Coyne Toss New Member

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    I think that the majority of persons admire other persons, as models they inspire themselves to.

    So what we admire is usually personality, attitude, charisma.
     
  11. Rikter8

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    ......Hung's still running away from the ladies auxillary with rolling pins......... Run Hung....Run.

    I try to admire men no matter how str8 they are. I just watch how I phrase it.
    Sorry, but if a guy is looking damn good, and he's in rare form doing it... Im going to say "you sure do look snazzy today - Nice".
    Same if it was a woman.

    Many straight guys take it as a "Your hitting on me" tantic.
    Thwarting it is so easy for them to do. All they have to politely say is "Im not interested, thank you".
    I'd say 90% of Decent gay/bi folks would respect that and move on.
    There is the 10% that is encountered through life, but if handled the right way, your confidence would go way up.

    Ok..im drifting WAY off topic....
     
  12. Rikter8

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    Only if he built it himself.

    Anybody can buy a car.
    It takes skill, desire, passion, knowledge, and drive to build one from scratch.
     
  13. B_Guy Love

    B_Guy Love New Member

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    Good thoughts. Thanks for sharing them.

    Where is that first quote from?

     
  14. B_Guy Love

    B_Guy Love New Member

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    Unfortunately, that's not the society we live in here in the US. I work in sales and I see every day people who think it is some sort of talent to be able to go into their wallet, get out money, and buy something.

     
  15. DC_DEEP

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    Yes, that's part of the admiration, if he has enough money to buy expensive, flashy things. Still, it goes back to my first post - many men don't think it's ok to admire another man directly, so they do it through things.
     
  16. hung

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    Hung is Running!!!!!

    I must admit that I got a bit off topic on this one. Men and Sons do need to spend time together.

    But as an adult male, this topic is about men needing to admire each other. Therefore my comments today will focus on that aspect of adult life.

    As an adult male I now know how wise my own Father was. I try now to emulate him. He enjoyed life and did not sit back and watch others. He participated in life throughout his whole life. He was a gardner in his later years after being a farmer. Only in the last three months of his life while suffering the pain of postrate cancer at the age of 86 did he slow down.

    Additionally, while in the military, I often met other men who I admired. Did I tell them so. I do not recall ever telling them I appreciated them for who they were. To bad, we both could have benefited from our relationships. Were these relationships sexual. No!!! But we do need to be honest and appreciate our fellow mankind.

    Thus this conclusion, If all us adult males openly display our respect for each other we will certainly model this for those who are younger. They in turn will possibly adopt attitudes and lifestyles that will only enhance our Society as a whole.

    We need to place more emphasis on respecting adults who daily give their best for the benefit of society.
     
  17. trufitjock

    trufitjock Member

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    i think its funny when 2 straight guys have man crushes on eachother and they don't realize it... but everyone else does!!
     
  18. B_Guy Love

    B_Guy Love New Member

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    I currently have a very straight guy who has a mancrush on me, and he doesn't realize it. Like you said, it's very funny. Actually, it's endearing.
     
  19. D_Garmanswait Glassnads

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    How is a man crush evident exactly? I'm intrigued as to whether a mate of mine likes me in such a way.
     
  20. rob_just_rob

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    I'm ok with not admiring other men.
     
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