i can't answer that one. the only slightly bad boys i've dated were pretending to be nice guys and fooling most people. i never got the attraction in some swaggering ego...unless it was my own, obviously.
yeah and you have contempt for all of them!
including your current one. (assuming you haven't dumped him yet)
Some women don't grow out of it. The women with emotional or character flaws didn't get the message that bad boys are nothing but trouble.
In fact if a woman wants a bad boy, I consider that a major red flag to avoid her.
I'm a cunt. Selfish, secretive, cold, bitter, demanding, self destructive, hedonistic, passive aggressive/aggressive aggressive, vengeful, misanthropistic, unreliable, manipulative, exploitative. The list goes on.
Don't ask me to enumerate all the dreadful things I've done over the years it would get boring. :tongue:
I'm honest about all of this, especially so with people I have relationships with, and as the years pass I think I'm getting less cuntish, mostly because I can't be bothered to deal with the fallout and would rather have a quiet life, and because I just don't want to end up with the chaotic mess some of my family call a life, and because I have a sense of humour and simply cannot take myself too seriously.
I have great traits too, plenty of em :redface: but I have a big wide streak of cunt which seems to have attracted some people of the years, though admittedly my healthiest most rewarding relationships have been with people who were attracted to me for the whole package, and not just the nasty.
I have dated a few bad boys (when I was young) and lots of nice boys. I prefer the nice boys!
There was recently a cracked.com article on the same subject:
6 Things Men Do To Get Laid That Science Says Turn Women Off | Cracked.com
It's a hilarious article, but I don't know if it's true. It's not true with me. TheBoyfriend violated 3 out of the 6 "Dont's" and I've never wanted anyone as badly as I wanted him. Maybe I'm different than other women?
There was recently a cracked.com article on the same subject:
6 Things Men Do To Get Laid That Science Says Turn Women Off | Cracked.com
It's a hilarious article, but I don't know if it's true. It's not true with me. TheBoyfriend violated 3 out of the 6 "Dont's" and I've never wanted anyone as badly as I wanted him. Maybe I'm different than other women?
rings true to me. there are links to BS academic psychology studies. and it mentions THE GAME by Neil Strauss.
some days i understand arranged marriages.
some days i understand arranged marriages.
Mr. Bungle
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I've asked this to many women, and the most common reply I seem to get is that they think they can change them from being such. I dunno though, I'm still baffled how a factor like that can make a woman attracted to a jerk in the first place.
I'm not going to speak for anyone else, but for me, I feel an attraction that's stronger than my better judgement.
Since I can't use any IRL examples, how about some fictional examples:
Brain from QAF - I hate that I yearned for him. What an asshole. Gawd he's sooo hot!!!
Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Yes, he's bad, but occasionally he shows just enough tenderness and evidence of goodness that would let me talk myself into believing he's not really bad. Gawd he's sooo hot!!!
James Bond - What a man-whore! Gawd he's sooo hot!!!!
Damon on The Vampire Diaries - He kills people! Gawd he's sooo hot!!!!
Need I go on?
i said smart women grow out of it.
bad boys might be fun for a shag though. get a quick fix and then throw them away. for a proper relationship you need all that mutual respect & shit though.
Nice guys never begin much less finish.
These are poor stereotypical roles anyhow.
"Bad boy" "Nice guy"
Very vague & inconsistent character summary of men with a host of traits with subjective judgment of their appeal.
The word "Nice" descended from Old French word "nice" or "nisce" meaning simple (simple-minded), silly, foolish.
And since French is just Franks' Latin this word ultimately came from Latin's "nescius" meaning ignorant, incapable.
See when you break the word "nescius" down you get "ne" which means "no" & "scius" which ultimately means "know". Like the word "science" which comes from "scientia" meaning "knowledge".
What you end up with when you call someone a "nice guy" is "a guy not in the know". No Science, Nice Guy. A similar word to nice which means about the same thing is "naïve". Both mean basically "dumbass".
And that's the effect of when a guy seeks to be "nice" & is baffled at his lack of success with attracting women.
It's a matter of what works & what doesn't. And unfortunately for the human species, the female seems hardwired—more than not—to pick mates who don't really advance the species & only cause her long-term grief & hardship.
Only after "maturity" does this get put into check. A note about "maturity": it's a fancy word for the ultimate degradation of life. From the moment of conception as you mature you are prepared for the ultimate maturity...death. You get weaker when you age. Your hormones are not firing as well as they once did. Your tissues are eroding. Your bone mass is thinning. Reflexes are slowing. Slowly but surely you are being broken down when you mature, when you age.
So it's no surprise that people begin making more thoughtful decisions as they get older. They're gonna have to because they're facing their own mortality. Many party-hardy people all of a sudden get religious & pious when they get older. When your prime is winding down, you're gonna measure each move you make a little more carefully. When you were younger & felt invincible you did all kinds of chancy daredevil type of things without much thought. It's not a big prize when people say they make the right choices when their biological processes show significant signs of decline.
To the ones who foolishly name themselves "nice guys", when the women finally come for them it looks like getting someone else's leftovers. You put in so much into your future while the other guys who were reckless & irresponsible got the goods without nearly the same amount of work & you're supposed to be thankful that you were third string choice? Maybe fourth string?
You can NEVER be frustrated if you understand the mechanics of how a system works. With KNOWLEDGE acquired & applied, everything will be like reading from cue cards.
When those who call themselves "nice guys" sit baffled at how their routines don't work & yet continue to try them with massive evidence that show they don't work...
...Well, you just have to wonder about these naïves.
How does the system REALLY work? Figure that out & there will be no more difficulty.
When Grandpa couldn't get his VCR to stop flashing 12:00AM all the time, he gives up in frustration. But when he understands how that system works, it is easier than pie.
To gain this type of knowledge requires you to lose attachment to false theories, false notions, and empty consolations.
You can operate as a scavenger hoping to run across a woman by the grace of luck or you can study & learn how this mating system operates & plan accordingly.
No More Mr. Nice Guy. Now is the time to get the Science.
John Lucas
These are poor stereotypical roles anyhow.
"Bad boy" "Nice guy"
Very vague & inconsistent character summary of men with a host of traits with subjective judgment of their appeal.
The word "Nice" descended from Old French word "nice" or "nisce" meaning simple (simple-minded), silly, foolish.
And since French is just Franks' Latin this word ultimately came from Latin's "nescius" meaning ignorant, incapable.
See when you break the word "nescius" down you get "ne" which means "no" & "scius" which ultimately means "know". Like the word "science" which comes from "scientia" meaning "knowledge".
What you end up with when you call someone a "nice guy" is "a guy not in the know". No Science, Nice Guy. A similar word to nice which means about the same thing is "naïve". Both mean basically "dumbass".
And that's the effect of when a guy seeks to be "nice" & is baffled at his lack of success with attracting women.
It's a matter of what works & what doesn't. And unfortunately for the human species, the female seems hardwired—more than not—to pick mates who don't really advance the species & only cause her long-term grief & hardship.
Only after "maturity" does this get put into check. A note about "maturity": it's a fancy word for the ultimate degradation of life. From the moment of conception as you mature you are prepared for the ultimate maturity...death. You get weaker when you age. Your hormones are not firing as well as they once did. Your tissues are eroding. Your bone mass is thinning. Reflexes are slowing. Slowly but surely you are being broken down when you mature, when you age.
So it's no surprise that people begin making more thoughtful decisions as they get older. They're gonna have to because they're facing their own mortality. Many party-hardy people all of a sudden get religious & pious when they get older. When your prime is winding down, you're gonna measure each move you make a little more carefully. When you were younger & felt invincible you did all kinds of chancy daredevil type of things without much thought. It's not a big prize when people say they make the right choices when their biological processes show significant signs of decline.
To the ones who foolishly name themselves "nice guys", when the women finally come for them it looks like getting someone else's leftovers. You put in so much into your future while the other guys who were reckless & irresponsible got the goods without nearly the same amount of work & you're supposed to be thankful that you were third string choice? Maybe fourth string?
You can NEVER be frustrated if you understand the mechanics of how a system works. With KNOWLEDGE acquired & applied, everything will be like reading from cue cards.
When those who call themselves "nice guys" sit baffled at how their routines don't work & yet continue to try them with massive evidence that show they don't work...
...Well, you just have to wonder about these naïves.
How does the system REALLY work? Figure that out & there will be no more difficulty.
When Grandpa couldn't get his VCR to stop flashing 12:00AM all the time, he gives up in frustration. But when he understands how that system works, it is easier than pie.
To gain this type of knowledge requires you to lose attachment to false theories, false notions, and empty consolations.
You can operate as a scavenger hoping to run across a woman by the grace of luck or you can study & learn how this mating system operates & plan accordingly.
No More Mr. Nice Guy. Now is the time to get the Science.
John Lucas
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AlteredEgo
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I married a nice guy. A nerd even. He's just my type: Sweet, nerdy, tall, and handsome. And I was sooooo worried about my mortality at age 28 when I married him too.
Last edited:
AlteredEgo
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I'm not a nice guy, not particularly bad, but certainly not nice. My experience is that women are attracted to something other than a nice guy, be it the archetype 'bad guy' or just an edgy, driven and successful man like me. And to be well-off and successful; most likely you won't be 'nice' either.
The other thing I have seen is that nice guys often have weaker relationships, especially when it comes to ongoing sex. Harder guys seem to retain sexual attraction, or maybe their partners know they're got to be sexual or else he will go to someone else.
The other thing I have seen is that nice guys often have weaker relationships, especially when it comes to ongoing sex. Harder guys seem to retain sexual attraction, or maybe their partners know they're got to be sexual or else he will go to someone else.
There are women who prefer nice guys, all you need is one right? Consider that bad boys have no problem being deceitful, they can pretend to be anything they think the woman they are currently talking to wants, including pretending to be nice. A woman who only likes nice guys will fall for him too, and when he reverts to his real self there is a period of denial and excuses before this woman dumps him. Hence bad boy gets both women who like bad boys and also for a short time women who don't like bad boys but were hoodwinked.
If the reason you are finishing last or rather finishing alone is because you are sitting on the sidelines feeling sorry for yourself - stop it, it's unsexy. If you are not out there then some jerk pretending to be you is asking out the woman who could have been your girlfriend.
Oh and if you are looking for a reason to become a "bad boy" then your being nice was just an act - go ahead and become a bad boy. Some guys who say they are nice are really just passive aggressive manipulators.
And that thing of trying to be the "friend" or emotional confidant of someone so they can trust you enough to sleep with you, that's not being nice, that's being manipulative. If you want to be friends and you also want sex, make both of your desires clear right away - just say it! If you have any chance with this person you'll get laid a lot sooner if you're honest. And if this person is freaked out that you want to sleep with them, they would never have slept with you anyway. If you wait too long, when the person finds out they could end up feeling manipulated and betrayed because they confided in you while under the impression that all you wanted was friendship - which means now you have no chance of getting in their pants even if they would have considered it otherwise.
If you are not really a nice guy, stop pretending. Meanwhile if you are a genuinely nice guy, decent-looking, live near me and you have a good size penis, I'd be delighted to get to know you better
If the reason you are finishing last or rather finishing alone is because you are sitting on the sidelines feeling sorry for yourself - stop it, it's unsexy. If you are not out there then some jerk pretending to be you is asking out the woman who could have been your girlfriend.
Oh and if you are looking for a reason to become a "bad boy" then your being nice was just an act - go ahead and become a bad boy. Some guys who say they are nice are really just passive aggressive manipulators.
And that thing of trying to be the "friend" or emotional confidant of someone so they can trust you enough to sleep with you, that's not being nice, that's being manipulative. If you want to be friends and you also want sex, make both of your desires clear right away - just say it! If you have any chance with this person you'll get laid a lot sooner if you're honest. And if this person is freaked out that you want to sleep with them, they would never have slept with you anyway. If you wait too long, when the person finds out they could end up feeling manipulated and betrayed because they confided in you while under the impression that all you wanted was friendship - which means now you have no chance of getting in their pants even if they would have considered it otherwise.
If you are not really a nice guy, stop pretending. Meanwhile if you are a genuinely nice guy, decent-looking, live near me and you have a good size penis, I'd be delighted to get to know you better
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