DO NOT Fart in Bed

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Pitbull, Jul 8, 2009.

  1. Pitbull

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    3,753
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

    The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

    The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

    Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

    He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor;

    she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

    The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

    Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs
    sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard,
    liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

    She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and,
    gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and
    emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which
    was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the
    bathroom.

    The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
    After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
    About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants
    with a look of horror on his face.
    She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
    He said, "Honey, you were right."
    "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
    "What do you mean?" asked his wife.
    "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out,
    and today it finally happened.
    But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most
    of them back in.
     
  2. hockeyguy741

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2008
    Messages:
    8,507
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    LOL.......:lmao:
     
  3. rickygNOLA

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2008
    Messages:
    4,885
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    519
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Las Vegas (NV, US)
    Ha!!! Lmfao!
     
  4. joybunny

    joybunny New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2007
    Messages:
    623
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Texas
    Puts a new spin on "stuffing." ROFLMAO!
     
  5. TurkeyWithaSunburn

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2005
    Messages:
    3,543
    Albums:
    5
    Likes Received:
    252
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Denver, Colorado
    :rofl: nice!!
     
Draft saved Draft deleted