Hi there! Just wondering, do you guys think roles always change with time? Cuz I am only top, with my ex I tried bottom only once but it hurt a lot and never went inside, so never tried again, but in the last days of our relation I started to develop the necesity of sucking him off and kind of swallow him, and after the break up kind of wanna try again to be bottom but is so complicated and im not very informed about it, also lately I crave so much for sucking a dick but still cant get any haha, share your thoughts and let me know about tour experience/s, thanks!
Do Roles Change With Time?
- Thread starter Charlespid
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Sexual tastes generally evolve with age and time. partners, experiences, porn, and self experimenting all play their role.
Over time, you might get less exited about something, you try new things, you body reacts differently to new stimulation etc. also you lose your inhibitions on things so you try them out and you might like them. Going from exclusive top to versatile is a good example, as its quite common, (especially on closed societies) to have an urge to prove your masculinity by not getting penetrated when you come to terms with your sexuality. However, eventually those barriers fade and you are more likely to try again and get more turned on by it. the opposite i believe is rarer (someone exclusively bottom to convert to top) but i'm sure it happens too.
Over time, you might get less exited about something, you try new things, you body reacts differently to new stimulation etc. also you lose your inhibitions on things so you try them out and you might like them. Going from exclusive top to versatile is a good example, as its quite common, (especially on closed societies) to have an urge to prove your masculinity by not getting penetrated when you come to terms with your sexuality. However, eventually those barriers fade and you are more likely to try again and get more turned on by it. the opposite i believe is rarer (someone exclusively bottom to convert to top) but i'm sure it happens too.
I am a gold star bottom. Never had any interest in topping, probably never will.
I fucked girls when I was younger, hated it. Even when I fucked them in the ass.
Having said all that, life is short so if you want to try something sexually you shouldn't die wondering.
I think your first experience wasn't very good possibly due to inexperience from both parties. You may find it more enjoyable with a top who knows how to prep a bottom.
I fucked girls when I was younger, hated it. Even when I fucked them in the ass.
Having said all that, life is short so if you want to try something sexually you shouldn't die wondering.
I think your first experience wasn't very good possibly due to inexperience from both parties. You may find it more enjoyable with a top who knows how to prep a bottom.
but in the last days of our relation I started to develop the necesity of sucking him off and kind of swallow him, and after the break up kind of wanna try again to be bottom but is so complicated and im not very informed about it, also lately I crave so much for sucking a dick but still cant get any haha,
wanting to suck dick/swallow does not a bottom guy make - you can be a 100% top anally but love sucking a guys dick - in all things barring the penetrative act I'm versatile (so long as he doesn't try doing anything to my ass) - so don't get hung up on thinking that you're a 'bottom' just because you want to suck dick - its just another part of being with someone.
As for do roles change over time? maybe for some, but not others - my first gay experience I was the top and have been with all of my partners since, just happened that way though I do like it that way myself.
Good luck
wanting to suck dick/swallow does not a bottom guy make - you can be a 100% top anally but love sucking a guys dick - in all things barring the penetrative act I'm versatile (so long as he doesn't try doing anything to my ass) - so don't get hung up on thinking that you're a 'bottom' just because you want to suck dick - its just another part of being with someone.
As for do roles change over time? maybe for some, but not others - my first gay experience I was the top and have been with all of my partners since, just happened that way though I do like it that way myself.
Good luck
I got butt fucked back in the day but lived a totally stright lifestyle for 30 years. When the wife slowed down on sex I got really horned and began going to xxx places. Slowly but surely I started sucking dicks and being a bottom. Yes preferences do change with age.
cedarizzo
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I was pretty much a top only before I met my first boyfriend. Then I became a bottom only for the first 4 years and versatile (50/50) the last 3 years. The second boyfriend and I rarely ever did anal. With the 3rd boyfriend and 4th (current) boyfriend I was/am bottom about 99% of the time.
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I tire of this notion of roles, promoted by porn, originating in BDSM. BDSM is a specific practice and the use of dom and sub is to allow for liberation and exchange of power in these roles for men seeking to break out of their social identity or normative masculinity writ large. The roles are immaterial. They are placeholders, not identities, and they exist to be transformed. We are not born as a top or a bottom. No, we have preferences based in our own psychology, culture, experience, trauma and pleasure and success. Again, there is no such thing as a gay top or a gay bottom. Those things aren't real. Everyone can suck a penis, put it in their anus, or put it in another's anus. Anyone who says they can't fuck or suck or take it because role is just lazy or selfish. I'ts gone beyond the absurd now, 12 'bottoms' in an orgy screaming 'fuck me fuck me fuck me'. No one is moving asses to Jesus and if you suggest one tries to fuck others there is the worst kind of vinegar tears imaginable. Twelve voluntary gimps on backs unable to walk or fuck have been there for eternity will go home and say the party was shit but do it again the next week.
We move across a range of what is comfortable all our lives and if we are open and want to grow, that usually means bisexuality of some kind, or in this case, versatility. You can be a total top if you are worthy and only a really well trained sub can ordain you. Vice versa for the so called total bottom. I was such for about two years after training but it wasn't me that made the designation and I was able to function in that role because my training was exceptional and those who were allowed to use me no input from me were always more than appreciative and pleased. I still had to fuck holes.
I agree preferences change with age, but sometimes they change as partners change or a relationship just evolves. Go with the flow and enjoy what you do. And please, play safe!
I thought I would be an cock-man but now I am crazy about toned college jock type ass and really wanna fuck hell out of it.
AllTheColorsOfTheWind
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The thought of being limited to only one role in the bedroom sounds incredibly boring.
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Brian S
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Sucking cock doesn't equate to being a bottom.
That said, my own sexual desires have changed and evolved greatly over the years. But mine has never been about topping versus bottoming. I came of age in the 90's in outstate Nebraska - I took what I could get, which naturally has just made me completely versatile. My partner is the same way.
What has evolved in me is more kink-based. I've fairly recently gotten into my partner pinching my nipples, hard. I enjoy when he occasionally chokes me as he jacks me off. I even tried watersports recently. But I also wanted to try those things because I love and trust my partner of 15+ years. I can't see myself asking a random dude to piss in my mouth, you know?
To relate that more to your question, I think that everyone has the capacity to evolve, sexually, in any aspect. Not everyone will, but I think it's only healthy and natural to want to try something new. Some men really only want to top, and some only really want to bottom, and there's nothing wrong with that. But, again, sucking cock doesn't make you a bottom; it only means you like sucking cock.
That said, my own sexual desires have changed and evolved greatly over the years. But mine has never been about topping versus bottoming. I came of age in the 90's in outstate Nebraska - I took what I could get, which naturally has just made me completely versatile. My partner is the same way.
What has evolved in me is more kink-based. I've fairly recently gotten into my partner pinching my nipples, hard. I enjoy when he occasionally chokes me as he jacks me off. I even tried watersports recently. But I also wanted to try those things because I love and trust my partner of 15+ years. I can't see myself asking a random dude to piss in my mouth, you know?
To relate that more to your question, I think that everyone has the capacity to evolve, sexually, in any aspect. Not everyone will, but I think it's only healthy and natural to want to try something new. Some men really only want to top, and some only really want to bottom, and there's nothing wrong with that. But, again, sucking cock doesn't make you a bottom; it only means you like sucking cock.
For many of us, we start out as a top, because that's what a " man should do." That's what I was and it felt just fine. It wasn't until I experienced my first bottoming that I realized that it provided much more enjoyment. Feeling a hard dick rubbing against the prostate, then taking control and, at, the right minute, contracting the muscles so he can experience an intense orgasm is a huge source of pleasure. I can't top anymore - my dick doesn't get hard. It does when I am getting rammed, however. So,roles can change with age and experience.
Some gays will always only be bottom. Some will always only be top. Some will always be vers. Some will switch it up when they meet the right person. Some won’t.
There is no real answer to the question as it varies person to person I guess.
cedarizzo
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Yes, for me, the desire of top and bottom is always changing. The biggest factor for me is what the other guy(s) is/are interested in doing. I've never dated a guy based upon him being top or bottom. If I like the guy enough to date him, I can easily adapt to him. The 1st bf was strictly a top when we met. But over the years, he started wanting to bottom more, so we became versatile. The next bf was more of a bottom, so I was more of a top with him. The 3rd bf was mainly a top, so I bottomed for him, but after a few years we both would change up and we were mainly versatile. The current bf was a very dominating top when we met. I really loved being a submissive bottom for him. But over the years, even he wanted to being a bottom at times, so I learned to be the dominating top for him. I even had a fuck buddy that was absolutely 100% top and would never ever bottom. We had the hottest sex because he was all about taking care of my ass. But one day after he had fucked me, he asked if I would consider fucking him one time. He was wanting to know what it felt like. So I told him I was versatile and had no problem with that. So I fucked his very tight ass the one time. He said he really enjoyed it but that was the only time he bottomed.
I think it is important to remain fluid in a relationship.
I think it is important to remain fluid in a relationship.
Nice answer thanks!
I was so concerned about it, cuz what my bf liked about me was me looking like a 16 yo pure top and turned him on so much, but after a few months he was getting very mad cuz he wanted to top me and i wouldnt let him cuz of the pain (i have never bottomed) and cuz of my pride which im leaving it aside cuz im so interested on bottoming nowadays but i feel like im gonna become a pure bottom after i try it haha, so hope my bf understands haha
