Do single people un-nerve coupled people?

[v32bone]

I'm single for the past 7 years after 25 yrs in a relationship and a) I'm having the time of my life dating lots of attractive people b) I am still lonely for REAL affection and a real relationship.

In all of this time I have not bee set up once on a blind date because my coupled friends seem to think that because I am "free" and dating alot that I am either getting laid all the time and dont need their help or having a lot more fun than they are at any rate.

They tend to ask all kinds of details about my sex life, the women I date and a few come out and give me dirt or stories about their sex lives or lack thereof.

But I'd LOVE to be set up on a date with someone by a friend. You'd think that who knows you better than a friend. And as someone with LOTS of friends and a real good rep as a person (maybe that NICE GUY curse comes into play a bit here), I'd think at least once and awhile I'd be set-up. A couple of friends have said, "We don't know anyone as interesting as you so we don't know someone who wouldn't bore you." How 'bout letting ME decide? Bring them on...

 

[green carnation]

a perfect example of the attitude i tire of. Now i know you must definately be a woman, as if all the cakes didnt already suggest that! But seriously, what makes you think a single person would feel uncomfortable in your exalted company. Do you go out of your way to make them feel like a spare wheel?
I think i ought to alter the title of this thread to: do single men un-nerve coupled women

We don't mix much with single friends because we don't want to make them uncomfortable. No one likes to feel like a third wheel. If they want to hang out, let them extend an invitation to something so we'll know. Ohhhh, but they never do.

 

[petite]

i much prefer this approach. Set up a situation where we will meet but dont tell us it is a set up, if you must. But then maybe it isnt actually about us but about them anyway, as has been suggested. And interesting cdog that it is only women who do this to me, and your explanation makes sense. I never clicked on this aspect.

Oh, you've assumed I did it without my friends knowing what I did. I wrote that I did it only if I was told that they he/she has a crush or wants to find a relationship. I was talking about situations in which my friends have asked me for help with hooking up with another friend and I've agreed to help them by organizing dinner parties, outings, or a party with that goal. The person with the crush came to me for help and advice wanting to know what to do, and I suggested doing something together as a group that would make my friend look really good in front of his/her crush. I didn't intrude on his/her life by trying to create a romance. That's not me.

 

[D_Humper E Bogart]

I feel they innerve me instead! Mr Bungle has the right attitude IMHO. May he live to 100!

I didn't spend so many years trying to gain independance just to throw it away.

 

[green carnation]

and the amount of times i get asked where my boyfriend is or why dont i have a boyfriend... So boring. I have begun to make up stories like- he is in prison etc

 

[AlteredEgo]

a perfect example of the attitude i tire of. Now i know you must definately be a woman, as if all the cakes didnt already suggest that! But seriously, what makes you think a single person would feel uncomfortable in your exalted company. Do you go out of your way to make them feel like a spare wheel?
I think i ought to alter the title of this thread to: do single men un-nerve coupled women

I don't think of our company as exalted. Single guys don't seem bothered, but I don't know any (who I haven't fucked, and who avoid my husband because they find dealing with him to be awkward), and my husband only knows single guys from work. He's not inclined to have people from work over much. My single female friends have said things to me which led me to believe that they felt awkward going out with us. They don't seem to have this same problem at our house, but am I always to entertain and feed everyone? These same friends of mine will invite only me alone out, never my husband, and the guys from work invite my husband, never me. Single people never want to be OUR friends. They only want to be friends with one or the other of us. All of our mutual friends are paired off. I wish this wasn't the case.

I was just marveling this evening that my close girlfriend called me, and spent 20 minutes gossiping with my husband and tolerating his obsession with Star Trek (particularly his hatred of Kirk). I wondered happily why she had finally taken an interest in being friends with him after all these years. Come to find out, she's no longer single. It's a pattern.

 

[TheRob]

I don't nkow if I unnerve my coupled friends but they sure want me to find a girl so maybe I do

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I think if a person knows they want to be single, they are ahead of the game, moreso than many married people who should have figured out they should have stayed single.

I tell my brother in law not to torture some poor girl by marrying her if he doesnt ever want to be married. He knows what he wants and hes happier not having to pretend and live his life for all the people around him.

I would never get married again, i dont think i'd be able to find someone like my husband now to be compatible with. I like being alone and have a lot of quiet time so i would choose single over married if i didn't have the ideal person that i do.

If people could figure these things out and stick to their guns, there wouldn't be all these unwanted kids and horrid marriage/divorce situations going on.

 

[TheRob]

I actually like to be alone to

 

[goodwood]

yes. i think it does un-nerve coupled people to have a single person about. they wonder why that person is single. they wonder if that person is single because of some deficiency in him/her or if the single person has gotten the short end of the stick and feel sorry said person.
also it seems that regardless of the sex of the single person, the person of the same sex as that person who is married inevitably seems to think their spouse is an object of desire to the single person and doesn't care to have that person about any longer than necessary.
i have witnessed that coupled people are wary of single people and seem to have the attitude that since they have settled down in coupledom, there must be a problem with someone that hasn't. in so saying, they try to fix the problem by trying to find a partner for the single person, which always never works, but god bless them for trying.
yes. i think in most instances couples are un-nerved by single people.