do straight guys wink at other guys?

ukthickmeat

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Depends on your local culture.

Guys wink at me to say bye. Or hello, they are straight.

At work it would be more expected as the other people might know you. Or they might have seen something happen and wink to see if you spotted it.
 

jjpooks

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i see him all the time on my floor we bump into each other. its just today while waiting for the elevator, i turned around and he just came in waiting and i said "hey how u doing" he winked and said.. "good how are you?" LOL. now i don't know if it was intentional or something but there were people waiting too. but i definitely caught the wink.
 
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Brian_E

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He may or may not be flirting with you.

Don't make the mistake I made, and continued to make for about 2 years until it all came crashing horribly around my ears, about a fellow male student when I was 18 and 19 and closeted like you. He used to surreptitiously narrow his eyes at me with this sort of smouldering look. Even now, 30 years and a lot of experience later, I still don't blame myself for misinterpreting his signals. But I should definitely, despite the difficulties of being closeted in a homophobic society, not have just fallen in love with him and lived out what much later turned out to be a complete fantasy in my mind that he wanted me too.:frown1:

Having said that, keep an open mind. And try to find out more about him if you're at all interested. Even though that's very, very difficult to do when you're not out.
 

Brian_E

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exactly, how do i explore if im not out?
I wish there was an easy answer to this question. But of course it depends on so many things about you.

I suppose that starting to "explore" is in itself part of coming out. In other words, exploring and coming out are part of the same thing. And coming out is often a long process, starting by the huge step of acknowledging your sexuality to yourself (you've done that, you've definitely started!), and after that proceeding according to what you feel comfortable with. For some people this may involve visiting gay bars/saunas/clubs/social groups incognito, and in this way being in the company of other gay people without your regular family, friends, colleagues etc knowing about it. This sort of double life is not easy, but it's a way of making progress.

An awful lot depends on your circumstances and where in the world you are. But even in the most homophobic places on Earth, LGBT people are abundant and thriving in any way they can, if necessary in "underground" groups which are invisible to mainstream society. In liberal, democratic countries, this invisibility is no longer necessary like it used to be.

One tip I would like to give you: seek help and support. There are help groups everywhere in the world. Use internet search engines to find them. Don't go it alone.

Sorry if this is not quite what you asked for. The above is obviously just one person's advice, and others here will hopefully have other tips which may well be more useful to you.
 

Kimahri

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Straight guys are as straight guys do. Some will make you scratch your head in wonder others will fill you with dread. The thing that's worked best for me in this situation is to roll with it and see where it goes. If there is something there and it moves in a favorable manner, let him lead. As he's straight, you have to be realistic and understand all you may end up with is a new buddy.
 

rd62624

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it could be his personality. I have a co-worker that winks at me when we talk to him
 

StuJr

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No, it doesn't necessarily mean he's gay and /or attracted to you. Especially if you bump into him at work and even just say "hi". I thought this was a random guy you didn't know at all. I have had guys I know are straight wink at me as a greeting. It is rare, but not unheard of for this to happen.
 

D_T_Frothingill_Bellows

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It's easy as a gay male to fall into the thought process that all straight males who are nice to us may be interested in something more, but winking is a personal thing. He coud very well be flirting, or just being nice.

In the words of one of favourite characters, Blanche Devereaux, and being a guy from the south I can verify it, "I'm from the south. Flirting is part of my heritage."
 

Redwyvre

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exactly, how do i explore if im not out?

...Do you have a crush on him? If you do or if you don't there's nothing wrong. Same is true for him. Maybe next time you see him give him a fast wink and see what happens. You'll probably be able to understand the intention of his gesture fairly quickly. Be playful and have boundaries and force yourself to do at least something gay during the new year...It's a tall order, but I think you can do it.
 

goshenite

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He's a stranger to you. He winked at you. He's gay.

No reason for straight guys to wink at other guys esp if strangers. Best friends could but that's just for fun. But for strangers, what could be their reason if they are straight?

So if you like him, you could hint him a little.