Do Strangers Words Bare More Meaning Than A Loved Ones?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by _Jonesy, Feb 16, 2011.

  1. _Jonesy

    _Jonesy Member

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    This is something that has affected me in the past, and due to the fact I have never shared what you would call requited true love in its most passionate forms I wonder if many would agree or disagree with the title of the thread.

    First I should probably state my acknowledgement of the thread started today, 'compliments from a stranger' by nomju. The thread isn't really the same as this in content, but I waited until now as to not overpower his and the title is what provoked thought unto this. Cheers.

    Anyway, upon the realisation of liking a girl there has been a flame for me. That flame would then push me to say things such as 'you're beautiful' or 'i love you' despite the fact I was a fair bit younger at this stage and so a lot of the comments were immature and for effect. Yet, they had the right effect.

    There are two options that could have been followed, either the recipient liked me back and took the comments to heart with meaning, or they humoured my antics deep down believing the comments came from desire and not honesty (although it certainly felt sincere at the time).

    Yet as time passes those same words lose meaning. This is where things get interesting in my mind. Surely, somebody who you are developing feelings for will deliver more impact when they call you beautiful? And yet several times I have been replied to with the comment "yeah, but you're biased" and one went as far as to say "thank you, but I know I'm not".

    Consider then the following scenario. She could meet a girl in a club who calls her ugly, she will definately take that one to heart. Similarly, if the girl was to meet a gay man who called her beautiful, she would react with blushing gratitude and will long to hear the words. So why do these people hold a higher value to people they have been close to?

    Or is my inexperience getting ahead of me, in that if you truly love someone hearing them say it will mean the most to you? Or as with me, have the words lost meaning over time, replaced by more thought towards what everybody else thinks?

    There are a lot of points to argue in this. The girl I used as an example: perhaps she simply did not care for me that much. Also, who should care what other people think? Yet my experience up to this point is simply that if I was to call a girl beautiful too much it would lose it's meaning, yet if I was to criticise her that would hold all the meaning in the world even though it would be just as unlikely.

    I should really stop with these deep philosophical threads.
     
  2. Gillette

    Gold Member

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    It depends on how the recipient feels about flattery or criticism and how it's delivered.
    Even more it depends on how the recipient feels about themselves and how they see the giver.

    Someone with low self esteem will discount compliments from loved ones or those they feel want something from them. All criticisms will be taken to heart. Such a woman receiving a compliment from a gay male stranger, someone who wouldn't be looking for sex from her, will give that compliment more credence.
     
  3. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I think many people find compliments from strangers to be more meaningful than those from loved ones. The things is, our loved ones are SUPPOSED to say nice things. And the way our loved ones see us will always be coloured by the way they feel about us overall. It's not that the words from a loved one mean nothing. But their words are appreciated more for the love behind them than for the actual words spoken.
     
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