davidjh7 said:
Ok--I think this is the perfect thread to ask about something. I am gay, and consider myself versitile, with a preference to topping. The main reason I prefer topping, is that I literally get zero physical pleasure out of it. I can do it with minimal pain, and not paranoid about it, don;t consider myself immasculated by bottoming, have tried various "toys" of various sizes and shapes, while under my full control, to determine if I just needed a different size or shape or something and---nada. I get emotional pleasure, and mental pleasure, from the pleasure my partner gets, but for me, physically it is a "beige--I think I'll paint the ceiling beige" kinda moment. Note--I said PHYSICALLY it is--the event is fun and fullfilling, with the right guy. Now, my question--do any other guys experience this? I have thought for years I must be plumbed wrong, or that my prostate has a kevlar jacket or something, because I'm just not "getting" it. WOuld enjoy hearing any feedback.
Do I experience beige ceilings? Of course, dear. Living in Europe, one gets used to the espresso machine having its 'special' moments.
Oh, sorry, you meant that figuratively.
I don't bottom as much as I top, because I refuse to spread my legs for anyone except the man who loves me (at the moment I don't do anything with anyone) but there is a tremendous range of experiences involved in anal "reception". One of the best orgasms I ever had was in bottoming - and that with a man who was under-endowed. Had a few close-me-eyes-and-think-of-England fucks, too. And lots inbetween.
But since you wanted feedback, a few suggestions.
First, forget the "sex only happens in the brain" nonsense. The entire area from the belly button to the knees (back and front) is normally very sensitive. Try getting really relaxed (not on alcohol or pot but in the real sense of the word.) If possible, have someone you like and trust experiment with touching, licking and stroking all over this whole area (outside your body). Is only your penis interested? I bet not. You will find a whole range of differing pleasurable sensations.
Second, I know you mentioned being fucked and trying toys. Forget all that for a moment. Have a good, thorough washing up (enema, too). Get relaxed. Using some good (probably silicon) based lube (warm and silky versus cold and snot-slippery) try gently stroking between the back of your scrotum and your anus. There should be some places around there which make you want to purr like a cat. (Was the way my straight best friend found out he had an ass when we were 14. Led to some very non-straight activity...)
No purring? No feelings of, hey - this is nearly as good as double Swiss chocolate?
Still beige?
Third, extend the stuff I suggested above to inside your ass. Both the anus as well as the first few centimeters are either directly nerve rich or rub against body parts which are. Any good feelings there? I am not talking about explosions (also possible) of raw lust, but rather that good cigar after a good dinner type of *sigh*.
So - that's what I'd experiment with. If it is all still beige, or worse, that nasty kacki colour they used to paint our school walls, maybe there are some underlying reasons? Diabetes or other such things can sure go after the nerves. Yep, I have purposefully left the prostate out of the discussion here. Unless I have enough foreplay, mine regards any stimulation as the "bend over and cough" variety. So find out if anything except your penis is interested in stimulation first, then tackle the magic button second.