Do Women All Want The Same Things?

AlteredEgo

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No. Like men, women have individual needs, expectations, priorities, desires and tastes. I'm going to quote the original post from the thread that prompted the discussion which may follow, however, there is no need for him to feel compelled to answer here unless he wants to. I just found his post silly, almost to the point of frivolity, but also troubling in that it contains bi-erasure (which is a form of LGBTQIA hate speech) and clear sexism (which should, but probably won't get the thread locked and the OP given points toward deactivation, though there probably isn't a woman left on the message boards willing to click the report button). One is left to wonder why the OP is surprised that the women with whom he associates are all so very similar. I mean, they are all women he is willing to use, who are all willing to let him use them. Most people attract similar people and similar circumstances over and over again. It's why one has to take stock of their own inner workings, and have a personal revolution in order to change their own life, and have radically different people in it.

Anyway. We can all feel free to address the post here. Explain why it is incendiary and problematic, or why it is not.

I live in a major metropolitan city in california. I have to admit that I really look at women as if they are a different species or to borrow a common analogy, from a different planet. (yes, I am sure they view us men with the same baffling vexation).

In this city, and having been with lots of women, I've noticed the same patterns over and over again, and while every woman likes to view themselves as unique and different, there are many patterns of behavior that are common across the board.

I am compiling a list and I would welcome feedback, adding or subtracting things about what you've noticed as well. All these observations come from countless repeated experiences in the field.
One man's experience is likely not quite "countless". For most men, this isn't even hundreds of data points. And the data points collected are not particularly useful to others, scientifically. It's not random and objective. It's voluntary, selective and subjective.

1. women love to plan - every potential date i've been on, has ended or begun based on planning. Women hate spontaneity. And view a man that can't plan as a huge red flag.
It should be a red flag if a man or anyone else can never plan. Planning is respectful of time and other resources. Planning can eliminate or mitigate obstacles and misfortune. Planning sets expectations, and management of expectations is part of emotional intelligence. An inability to plan exposes a disorganized life, and worse, a disorganized mind.

But not everything has to be planned. There is plenty of room for spontaneity in life. In fact, one of the best dates I ever went on he just showed up in my neighborhood with a camera. He said there would be a meteor shower. Would I please break into the golf course with him to photograph it? I made enough chai latte to share. Bathed. Groomed. Dressed to be both alluring and comfortable. Borrowed a great camera. Joined him at the intersection. We had a blast.

Still, next best date took me to Paris for a week, after months of planning. Halfway between when we were meant to leave and when we decided to meet up in France, he sent me a magnet with a photo of the Eifel Tower under construction. The logistics were planned in advance, but each day was a spontaneous adventure based on a list we made together of things we'd like to see.

First real date with my husband, we had plans. I invited him, and I planned everything. However, when we exited the subway, we heard irresistible, compelling music. It sounded like a warrior tribe was declaring war on Manhattan. We followed the sound away from our intended destination, and found a parade. It was the coolest parade you never heard of, right down 5th Ave. At one point, the happy excitement of the crowd, so close to Ground Zero (four miles) moved him to tears. Seeing New Yorkers celebrating, young people dropping their ice cream and crying over other mundane problems, just a regular day, stirred up his sense of patriotism, and reaffirmed his decision to make a career in service, inspiring these spontaneous tears. I knew right then I loved that man. Going to the parade meant we didn't have time for our lunch plans. We needed sunlight for the second stop on our date, so we grabbed gyros on the street and ate on the move. I called the restaurant and made a dinner reservation there instead. I had also built in a stop for an afternoon snack. We went there for dessert instead. Plans don't have to be set in stone. I had an agenda, things and places, sights, tastes and smells I wanted to share with him on his first trip to my city. I got it all in, but was flexible enough to flow with the moment.

Those things all show a willingness to embrace the moment. Contrast that with calling me up last minute every single time a man wants to see me, and never being prepared to set a day in advance so I can schedule my life accordingly. That isn't spontaneity. That's disrespect. I find that the men I've met who accused me of not being spontaneous really just meant I'm nobody's booty call. And they are mostly right. I'll show up for a random late night booty call if the caller is a man who has banked enough good will. It can't always be a late-night creep. It can't always be just about fucking me.

2. women love to hike - it baffles me how EVERY woman I talk to wants to go hiking on a date. Not my thing, as you can tell. But it's fascinating to me how across the board this is. If you put that you love to "hike" on your dating profile, women will stuffing your inbox.

*women also love farmers markets and any kind of market too. They love going out and browsing and gathering things.

I hate shopping. Some of my friends like it. Most of my friends hate it. I'm willing to go hiking, I've been hiking, and I have the gear, but it's never going to be my idea. I think hiking is a good idea for a date that is free or inexpensive. Ditto walks in parks or on beaches. Bike rides too. But it's never going to be my idea, unless I don't know him well, and he says, "I'd like to hang out with you, but I'm kinda broke right now." It's still not a go-to suggestion for me. I'd rather check out a festival, a play in the park, a lecture at the museum, or just sit on a bench in the canal and paint a landscape. I have enough art supplies to share. Most of the women I know feel the same. That's because I deliberately hang out with women who are like me. I really don't like women who aren't much like me. We don't get along.

3. women love yoga - Every woman here loves to go to their yoga and spin classes. However, don't be fooled, as much time and effort as they put into their bodies, always remember, they want to be appreciated for their minds.
I do yoga every day just to keep my range of motion close to normal. My body is abnormally stiff, and has been since I was born. I hate yoga. Yoga can eat a bag of dicks. It's uncomfortable, even after years as a faithful practitioner. Spin is worse! Those asshole coaches are trying to fucking kill a bitch. I think they call it Soul Cycle because your body is done on Earth after class. All you have left is your soul. Nah. Polite pass. Definitely not for me.
(To be continued)
 

AlteredEgo

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4. women want to be appreciated for their minds - you can tell them they're beautiful, but don't be surprised if they are offended by it. I can't tell you how many women i've told how amazingly beautiful they are, only to be upbraided for it. And reprimanded that they want to be appreciated for their minds (despite spending all their free time going to yoga and shopping for cute outfits."
I am my mind, not the body that carts my mind around. I want to be appreciated for my substance as a human. I'm generous, friendly, hilarious, and brilliant. But I've rarely been anything other than flattered being told that I'm also sporting a pretty face, or a sexy body, or smell nice, or have a cute smile, or that I'm beautiful. But context matters. My playmates can tell me I look sexy and get a gracious reply. A random man on the street saying the same is unpleasant. It's great to be in the middle of a snogfest and have my partner look into my eyes and say, "You are so BEAUTIFUL!" It is not delightful to give a lecture I was invited to give because of my mastery of a concept, and have someone random from the audience approach me to remark on my appearance.

I spend all my free time training my dogs and talking shit with my homies.

5. women love to travel - every woman i meet wants to go someplace. it's pretty strange to me, they want to be whisked off to paris, or a weekend in Big Sur or Hawaii. It's pretty shocking to me how women hate to stay inside and relax. they always need to be going somewhere or doing something. When I work all week, all i can dream about is going home to relax; yet every woman I meet has to go off doing somethin so I assume she can take a picture of it and share with her friends on instagram. Hence the trope of the man cave.
I want to see the whole world. The good, the bad, and the ugly, though maybe not the truly dangerous. I want to talk to people from all over, learn to speak in full sentences and slang in their languages, and hear their accents in mine. I took my husband to Vegas because I wanted to see a concert, and he'd never been as an adult. If he hadn't wanted to come, I'd have gone with friends or alone. I took dozens of photos. There are none on my social media. There are also no "check-ins". I'm not advertising that my house is potentially empty, nor that I can afford to just book a trip for two to Vegas because I want to see a concert I heard about.

I'm home often. I cook most of my meals, and I work from home. Sometimes I want to wear threadbare pajamas and watch movies while using my pets as blankets, and making snide comments to my dude. Sometimes I want to sit in a friend's living room. Sometimes I want to get out and do something. I'm partial to karaoke. Sometimes I wanna spend the whole day cranking out orgasms with a trusted party. That's just life. In sometimes, out sometimes. Seems pretty common among people I know.

6. women have to get to know you first - women will want to talk to you and get to know you first before any kind of sex. Even if you're with an escort (watch the Fleiss documentary on amazon) they want to have a drink, "get to know you" and then MAYBE they'll have sex with you.
Duh. Why would I let strangers enter my body? Why would I be vulnerable to someone I can't tell deserves my trust? I'm going to let some rando get on top of me? What if I want to get up and he doesn't let me? And why do I care about getting him off? If I don't know Dude, he can go fuck himself. He's not fucking me. I know women who do not feel this way. I do not understand why they do not. I cannot relate to this aspect of their sexuality. I also know men who feel this way, who need at least a little bit of a connection to proceed. I married one. I dated some others.

7. Women hate dick pics - despite the entire foundation of porn and concept of this entire site - women don't care about size. they don't want to see your dick. they don't care. it's the last thing they want to see.
I love dick pics. I hate unsolicited dick pics. Being a person who absolutely values spontaneity, I love surprises. I don't want the surprises that come with undressing a man for the first time spoilt by too many photographs in advance.

8. Women are not bisexual - Yes, I know women claim to be bisexual. And i've talked to them too, but every time i press them about it, and they resist, they always say how "picky" they are. when you hear how "picky" they are, that's usually a flag. I've had several threesomes but it comes at great cost and is always by chance. I could have had hundreds of threesomes with women but they all wanted money. so I guess you can put an asterisk by this one * they are bisexual if they get compensated.
This dude's problem is no woman I know, nor I would ever fuck a man like him. Never ever would we. This is especially true for those of us not identifying as heterosexual. Men like him make women like me feel like a novelty, a freak, a bucket list item, a thing. They make embracing my sexuality into something perverted and less natural.

He has repeatedly demomstrated that he doesn't value women beyond their ability to wet his dick. A dick is not even a dime a dozen. I get offerred at least one new one every time I leave my house. I'm attractive and fun to be around, and nobody who gets a taste of what it is like to bask in the sunlight of my affectionate attentions ever wants to feel the shade again. I'm attracted to women, but I'm not setting up Dude's threesome. None of the women I know are down, and I have no sexual interest in most of the women I know anyway. One I've already fucked a few times, once with a male friend of mine, is a pretty shitty lay anyway, PLUS she owes me money from when I paid her licensing fees almost ten years ago. At this point she could have given me $50/year and we'd be even. I still love her, but I can't get wet for that. Another I used to swing with (yes, some women seeking men swing together) lost her battle with cancer. Another got married, and I don't like her husband. She knows better than to ask, and isn't available for invitations to join me with other men. LOL Another is only physically alluring to me below a certain weight. I'm not attracted to her at her current weight. Plus, our relationship is perfect. I have never hit on her, and I never will. I don't want anything to change. If Dude knows someone he'd like to invite, I'm willing to meet her. If we click, it's on.

9. women want serious monogamous relationships - women constantly say how they want serious monogamous relationships. no hook ups. they're not looking for multiple partners. Sex is not a priority for them. The lifestyle swinger scene that involves women is always because they are in it with their husbands. If there is a single woman involved, they are called unicorns. they are called "unicorns" for a reason. because they are rare and don't exist.
I would prefer monogamy, but in my situation, monogamy is not realistic. I didn't choose the right match for that. I have multiple partners, and have for most of my adult life. It's fine. My needs are met.

In my early twenties, when I was single, I wasn't interested in monogamy, just sex and companionship. Most of my single friends don't want a commitment. They may have before, but have grown to think of men as burdensome if they have to cohabitate. They haven't ever met a man who met their expectations, and so they are content to keep a few acquaintances for casual sex. Some don't associate with anyone for sexual release at all. They have friends, and they are happy.


will you please add or subtract to this? These above observations are based on my experience and I also realize that these are all negotiable if the women are properly compensated it seems.

I'm just getting started. thanks!

So all women are whores? Even his mother? I'm not surprised he can only get laid in trade. I mean, I can't think of a price point at which enduring him and the risks associated with letting him penetrate me is worthwhile. But I could understand if some other women can.
 

LaFemme

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That’s the thing. This guy has a “type”. He likes physically beautiful women. How do they get that way? Spin classes and yoga and hiking. He lives in L.A. Beautiful isn’t always enough, might even be some smart women there. Being told you’re beautiful is a daily thing. Having someone notice you’re interesting, that’s kind of cool.

There are homebodies and there are not. Beautiful women might like to be seen. And they might like to see. And so what if someone likes shopping? It’s something to do. And it goes with the type of woman he likes. Why work so hard for that body if not to dress it up? It’s not that complicated.

As far as wanting a big dick, no one cares. An interesting, cool guy is far preferred. Penises litter the earth for every woman. Sure popular media jokes about how important it is, but deep down inside few women really care about it. It is a joke. Give us a man who makes us feel valued, even for a few hours.

He wants fuckable beautiful women. He’d prefer stupid, but is struggling with women who have interests that go with the type. He’s not interested in nerds, or engineers, or the socially aware.

He isn’t successful and makes his little lists because his world is limited. You get what you are. He’s shallow. The women he meets are likely shallow. But even he is too shallow for them. He is the triangle in the orchestra of life, just that one irritating note.
 

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I fucking hate shopping, and going to fuckin farmers markets.

I like penetrating man ass. I don't know many women who share that appreciation.

Yeah, we're not fuckin' aliens, dude.

I'm starting to think he just gets off on making himself look like a complete fool. Small mind humiliation??
 

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I fucking hate shopping, and going to fuckin farmers markets.

I like penetrating man ass. I don't know many women who share that appreciation.

Yeah, we're not fuckin' aliens, dude.

I'm starting to think he just gets off on making himself look like a complete fool. Small mind humiliation??
Hey! Don’t knock my farmer’s market! I love cooking with fresh produce. (I have no garden.). Um, but I go solo, or meet a friend down there and we split some fine baking, have a coffee, while we sit in the sun and talk. Kills a Saturday morning.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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Hey! Don’t knock my farmer’s market! I love cooking with fresh produce. (I have no garden.). Um, but I go solo, or meet a friend down there and we split some fine baking, have a coffee, while we sit in the sun and talk. Kills a Saturday morning.

Hey, to each our own!!:)

I just hate shopping at all, anywhere, for anything. It's *always* a chore.

Clothes, food, appliances, I hate shopping!!!
 
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I'm copy/pasting from where I had addressed much of that fool's post.


I tend towards being organized for many things. It is a major asset, given the kinds of work I have done. Attention to detail is important when dealing with fraud prevention, documents that the Department of Defense or FAA might audit, etc. Small spontaneous "let's go out for a drive" or "let's go get x thing to eat" is fine. Fun, too. I like going for a drive late at night when the weather is nice. Windows down, music on jam.

I fucking hate hiking. I am not an outdoors-y kinda person. I am about that city life. I hate shopping, including going to Farmer's Markets. I hate going to malls, shopping centers, whatever. Uh, yoga makes my hyper mobile joints complain anymore. I'm good.

Appreciation for someone being themselves, their intellect, their personality, and their body aren't mutually exclusive. I haven't much interest in someone so narrow minded or foolish as to only appreciate one thing about me. Nor would I expect anyone to find much interest in me if I reduced them to just a single shallow thing.

I am a crazy introvert and a homebody. I do have places I want to see, but a trip once a year or less would be more than enough for me. It is very easy for me to hermit outside of go to work, go get groceries, use the fitness room in my apartment complex, etc. It's my preferred way of living. My partner is the only person I've encountered in 30+ years of living who is an exception to my introversion. Anyone else I would want the fuck out of my space after a day ish. Rem? We hermit together and it's lovely.

How dare people want to be safe and confirm you'll not violate boundaries before fucking? I had multiple fuck buddies in the past. Damn right they had to be someone I knew enough to trust my body with. Did that mean I had to be best friends with them? Fuck no. Did it mean I had to love them? Fuck no. I had to know they would adhere to safe sex practices and liked the kind of sex I enjoy. Why waste my time with a fuck buddy whose idea of fun in the bedroom would bore me to tears? Why waste my time with a fool who would expose me to risk? I didn't ask any of them to be monogamous. They were fuck buddies for a reason, so we got to adhere to strict safe sex practices. They knew they weren't the only one I was fucking, and vice versa.

I like dirty pictures from people I'm interested in. That can include genitals, but if I'm interested in them, it isn't just for their genitals. Show me more. Show me your body, your facial expression. If I just want a still shot that is a close up, I can take a picture of one of my own dildos.

Plenty of people, male and female are bisexual. That doesn't mean bisexual people exist to fulfill other people's threesome fantasies or fetishes. Pansexual and queer people exist too. Still not on this planet to fulfill other people's fantasies or fetishes. Bisexuality erasing assholes...

I've been a unicorn, I've been polyamorous (it was my suggestion/preference, not something brought up by my partner), I've been single and had lots of crazy wild fun hot fucking with lots of people. Sex is a moderately small chunk of time out of my life compared to many other things, but it is important to me. There are many reasons why I have had multiple fuck buddies in the past. There are many reasons why I used to also do casual/one offs, too.


That's all just me, though. Women have as much variety as men do. We're not an alien species. We're individuals.
 

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Riddle me this... since when does bisexual mean you have to have threesomes?

This has got to be one of the most annoying stereotypes about bisexual women...

Being bi doesn't mean you automatically have interests in threesome's.

Like the end of the movie Dodgeball... Uh, no. That's not how it actually works. Not for this bisexual woman anyway.: unamused:
 

AlteredEgo

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90% of men are absolute failures at being functioning humans. Blerg.
I'm pretty sure most people suck. Doesn't seem constrained to any specific sex or gender. Misandry is not okay.

Hey, to each our own!!:)

I just hate shopping at all, anywhere, for anything. It's *always* a chore.

Clothes, food, appliances, I hate shopping!!!
All of this. I don't mind tagging along if a friend wants to shop, as long as that friend is swift and decisive. I do like looking at housewares. Just looking. I like shopping for food at farmstands, farmer's markets, supermarkets, your granny's house, wherever. Food is the only thing I enjoy buying. So, I would totally go to a farmer's market with @LaFemme or provide a human barrier for TNJ so she could find a new pair of jeans in peace. But no, I'm not doing any of that shit on a date.

No. Wait. I did help a guy find undershirts and socks. We kept not having time to see each other, so I suggested we run our errands together, just so we could talk face to face for once. In fact, that sometimes is what it takes to get me out of my clothes. I'm busy. A fella might have to come run errands with me. It puts lots of credits in the bank of good will. Especially if the errand is dog walking, and my youngest dog approves. She is insanely jealous.

Plenty of people, male and female are bisexual. That doesn't mean bisexual people exist to fulfill other people's threesome fantasies or fetishes. Pansexual and queer people exist too. Still not on this planet to fulfill other people's fantasies or fetishes. Bisexuality erasing assholes..
Riddle me this... since when does bisexual mean you have to have threesomes?
This has got to be one of the most annoying stereotypes about bisexual women...

Being bi doesn't mean you automatically have interests in threesome's.

Like the end of the movie Dodgeball... Uh, no. That's not how it actually works. Not for this bisexual woman anyway.: unamused:
There was so much to unpack that I forgot to address this facet. But yeah. WTF.
 

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I'm pretty sure most people suck. Doesn't seem constrained to any specific sex or gender. Misandry is not okay.

I don hate all men. I hate most men. About 3/4 of my follow list are men. When I find a good one I let everyone know. Like a dress with fucking pockets

Statistically men are worse than women. More likely to abuse loved ones, more likely to sexually assault loved ones and strangers, more likely to be far right, to be socially conservative, be the cause of more car accidents and make up almost of America's Mass Shooters and Serial Killers.

Life, the news and my time on LPSG has proven that I would rather hang with any random woman than with a man I know in passing. That is not misandry, it's self preservation.

And all this asshole has us "bitches be shopping"

1. Women like to plan dates so they can tell their friends where they will be and when they will be home... Because men might rape and/or kill them.

2. Women like to get to know sex partners because they need to weigh the odds of being raped and or murdered.

3. Women like dates in public places because it's harder to rape and or murder them with an audience.

4. Valued for my mind. Silly fucking me not basing my worth on my birth canal.

I bet the OP is on my ignore list.
 

AlteredEgo

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Statistically men are worse than women. More likely to abuse loved ones, more likely to sexually assault loved ones and strangers, more likely to be far right, to be socially conservative, be the cause of more car accidents and make up almost of America's Mass Shooters and Serial Killers.

Life, the news and my time on LPSG has proven that I would rather hang with any random woman than with a man I know in passing. That is not misandry, it's self preservation.

And all this asshole has us "bitches be shopping"

1. Women like to plan dates so they can tell their friends where they will be and when they will be home... Because men might rape and/or kill them.

2. Women like to get to know sex partners because they need to weigh the odds of being raped and or murdered.

3. Women like dates in public places because it's harder to rape and or murder them with an audience.

4. Valued for my mind. Silly fucking me not basing my worth on my birth canal.

I bet the OP is on my ignore list.
The OP is a raging, prolapsed asshole. Your referenced statistics are factual, but do not describe "90%" of men. Bigotry is ugly. Love you lots, never gonna fail to tell you when you're fuckin' up, because I respect you.