Do Women Expect/Want Men To Ask Them Out Several Times?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Jovial, Mar 9, 2008.

  1. Jovial

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    Do women every say no the first time, but want the man to ask her out again just to see how much he likes her?

    Do women sometimes change their mind, so they expect the same guy might ask her out again?

    I'm just curious because I've heard of stories where the man had to ask a women out several times before she said yes, but it would seem annoying to me if someone persisted in asking when the answer was no.
     
  2. hypoc8

    hypoc8 Member

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    I think they like the idea of being pursued. I often wondered this myself, I know if I ask and get turned down I don't ask again. Could be where I'm going wrong. I'm curious as to what kind of answers you get.
     
  3. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Before reading my post realize I acknowledge being a pain in the ass. :smile:

    There's a guy who asked me out two weeks ago and I said no, but told him to ask again the next time we see each other (tomorrow). Do I expect that, no. But if not completely settled on a yes or no answer, i'll add the bit about asking later.

    Some guys could ask me out forever and I would never, ever, ever say yes. Other guys have grown on me over time and after the initial decline, we managed to date. So, there is always the possibility someone will change their mind. If you feel a strong connection/attraction, why not try again?
     
  4. Supersized

    Supersized New Member

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    I heard a supermodel say on the radio that she expects a guy to ask 8 to 10 times before she says yes.
     
  5. Principessa

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  6. rob_just_rob

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    Yes, (some) women like to play games.
     
  7. Mumzi

    Mumzi New Member

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    I think "saying no" is more of a morality thing. If I don't like a guy I am not going to go out with him no matter what. When for me is (tho I am married now) the appropriate time? When I feel like we have a close connection and I feel that he really cares for me. I also have to care for him and I would not continue to date him if that was not the case. There are many things here; age, how the woman was brought up and where she is in her life at this particular time. I don't know of anyone who puts an actual number on this. Most of my single friends don't appear to have a number; but they do seem to have reasons or feelings that just need to be right. None of which seem to be written in stone.
     
  8. D_Prudence_Admonition_Drightits

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    I never had time to play those silly games. Life is too damn short.
    When I said no, it meant no. Now why is it that some men can't take no for an answer???? Is this what they were thinking? You taught me something new.

    I am a what you see is what you get type of person. If I was interested, a man would know.
     
  9. Act2_Begins_Now

    Act2_Begins_Now New Member

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    I would never say no with the sole motivator being only to make him ask me again and again. However, I may say no due to a variety of reasons that could include having other plans, working towards exclusivity with someone else, etc. Those reasons could change and have no turn to a yes in the future.
     
  10. B_Demention

    B_Demention New Member

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    Every time I've asked someone out it's been when I know she's into me, where I can't really screw it up or get a no, so in that regard I've always played it quite safe. I'm at my absolute most perceptive in the time prior to that, because I actively look for a sign that it's okay to go there. I never rush things, either. I like to make her feel that she's been through my personal test before asking her out, to show that I have standards and am not going to settle for anything that moves. It's important to have that mutual screening process, I think. But yeah, I do wait for the subtle cue from her before taking things to the next level because guessing games are no fun, nor is a damaged ego. I'm not like most guys, who I think look at it as a numbers game. I really try to scope things out, including any and every sign I get from her. I'm prone to overanalyzing, but I'd rather that than not have a clue how things stand.
     
  11. Jovial

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    Maybe initially you don't like him, but since he asked you out you start thinking about him more. He plants the seed in your head. Then later on you realize that he may be nicer than you first thought.

    Or maybe some women get asked out and date a lot, so it's understood by the men that ask them out that "no" can change to "yes" in the future depending on their schedule (even if they don't explicitly say "maybe").
    Maybe he asks her to dinner and she says no. Maybe another week there is some event happening that he thinks she will like, so he asks her to go with him and she says yes.

    ...and the rest of your post seemed to contradict the beginning. :confused:

    Expanding on what Act_2-Begins_Now and njqt466 said, maybe a woman isn't thinking about dating because she is very busy or just broke up with someone, etc. Then a few days after she is asked and says no, she regrets it and wishes he would ask again.
     
  12. The Dragon

    The Dragon New Member

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    My yes means YES, and my no means NO.
    It's as black and white and as clear cut as that.
     
  13. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    Yes!

    &

    Yes!
     
  14. HazelGod

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    I've never understood that either...when I say no, I mean it. Don't repeat the question, don't pester me. I've always presumed the same standard applied to people responding to me.

    Aside from that, I have a great deal of respect for myself. If you're rebuffed once, it seems rather stupid and pathetic going back for another beating.
     
  15. DC_DEEP

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    Good points HazelGod, and thanks for bringing up this topic, Jovial.

    I never understood the silly little "good-girl" games. He has to ask her out X times before she says yes, he has to make Y moves on her before she will make out, they have to go on Z dates before she'll kiss, no doesn't necessarily mean no.

    Then, after the guys have been conditioned to understand that "no" does not mean "no," they get blamed when they don't know if a girl actually means "no" or if she means "try again."

    It's absolutely stupid.
     
  16. D_Prudence_Admonition_Drightits

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    I know, I wish I knew who came up with those dumb rules. The book needs to be burned !

    But let us also point out that men and women do communicate differently. You think us strange, and we think you guys are strange. Some things that seem so obvious and guys are so oblivious to it.
    Guys are up in the face, BAM, no time to notice small things and women read everything -emotions, body language, tone of voice, etc.....
     
  17. D_Kaye Throttlebottom

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    I don't want him to ask me out several times. Though I may be in a different situation in my life where pursuing dates and relationship isn't a good idea, so I turn him down. If he asks me out later, maybe I'm more open.

    I think the guy that doesn't take rejection personally, or knows that "no" isn't a reflection about him, is more likely to ask again. Though it doesn't mean that every woman is playing hard to get. It depends on the situation, sometimes that kind of flirting includes "no." It's not my cuppa though.
     
  18. Radiant

    Radiant New Member

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    I ask once, and if she says "no", I will not ask again.

    If she's interested, she can either say "yes" or "maybe some other time". Some women will keep saying "no" even if they're interested, to show that they're attractive and worth pursuing. I'm not into games.

    Some women want to be the hunted, and the guy to be the hunter. I'm not into hunting
     
  19. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    some women may like it, but I got tired of playing mind games at an early age. once I got wind that a "game" was being played, I was gone. if a chick was playing me, trying to make her bf or other guy jealous, I just walked away. if I asked a woman out and she said no, I seldom asked her again. I think twice I asked a woman out more than once, and both times they still said no. life is too short for BS like that. I was lucky that I ran into gals that liked me as much as I liked them. the chicks that got reputations for playing "games" did not get the time of day from me. no hi, no hello, and sure as fuck don't ask me to buy you a drink.
     
  20. Rubber_JonnyN

    Rubber_JonnyN New Member

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    I like being asked a few times tbh. ;>
     
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