Taken within the context of not being personally specific and therefore a whopping generalisation, do you think there is a difference in the need for and response to affection based upon gender nature rather than nurture?
Do women need more affection than men?
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Principessa
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Since this is a broad sweeping generalization I will have to say yes. Many women seem to need more affection than men. I think this is due to nurture rather than nature.
Hmm, then again maybe men actually need more affection.
The reason being, that everyone assumes women like affection; therefore they receive it more often and don't technically need it as much as men do. As boys, men are not to cry or act like sissys. Thereby creating generations of pseudo tough guys who just need a good hug every once and a while.
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I have no idea....
The above posters have all raised valid opinions and theories.
I know women who need lots of cuddles and women who don't.
I know men who need lots of cuddles and men who don't.
I like the point that as boys, they don't get them as much as girls do. SO would expect that to 'skew' the 'needs' somewhat' between the genders.
But the question did remind me of another thread regarding who initiates sex more often, the husband or the wife? It's appearing that the male initiates sex more often, but I wonder if it's the female that initiates cuddles more often?!
The above posters have all raised valid opinions and theories.
I know women who need lots of cuddles and women who don't.
I know men who need lots of cuddles and men who don't.
I like the point that as boys, they don't get them as much as girls do. SO would expect that to 'skew' the 'needs' somewhat' between the genders.
But the question did remind me of another thread regarding who initiates sex more often, the husband or the wife? It's appearing that the male initiates sex more often, but I wonder if it's the female that initiates cuddles more often?!
PussyWellington
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I think EVERYONE needs affection, whether they acknowledge it or not. Sometimes I think that in this "modern world" affection has been replaced by sex. There is not enough genuine affection going around.
I'd like to make another generalization, if I may -- people with body and self esteem issues are less comfortable with being affectionate. Any thoughts?
I'd like to make another generalization, if I may -- people with body and self esteem issues are less comfortable with being affectionate. Any thoughts?
It depends what you mean by 'affection'.
Do you mean physical contact? Or do you mean reassurance that they are loved?
I think, if you are going to force me to generalise, men need more reassurance that they are loved in ways other than phyiscal contact. I believe women take physical contact as reassurance that they are loved and therefore need less assurance by other means.
And I'm almost certain it is nurture not nature. Men, generally, are less 'touchy feely', women more so - there are always exceptions. I think men need to hear that they are loved, to perceive that they are loved through gestures of consideration, because they receive less physical affection. I think women need more physical contact because they are accustomed to it (or it is the cultural norm and if they lack it they perceive the lack).
That's just a theory - based on the culture I'm familiar with. I'd be interested to know if in cultures where affectionate physical contact between men is de rigeur there is a difference in the levels of non-physical affirmation of affection that men and women seem to require.
(Note: I'm not saying women don't seek praise and gestures of affection other than the physical - I'm just saying they seem to suffer from the lack of it less than men do. Just as men seem to suffer less from the lack of physical (non-sexual) affection. And, I repeat, there are always exceptions.)
Do you mean physical contact? Or do you mean reassurance that they are loved?
I think, if you are going to force me to generalise, men need more reassurance that they are loved in ways other than phyiscal contact. I believe women take physical contact as reassurance that they are loved and therefore need less assurance by other means.
And I'm almost certain it is nurture not nature. Men, generally, are less 'touchy feely', women more so - there are always exceptions. I think men need to hear that they are loved, to perceive that they are loved through gestures of consideration, because they receive less physical affection. I think women need more physical contact because they are accustomed to it (or it is the cultural norm and if they lack it they perceive the lack).
That's just a theory - based on the culture I'm familiar with. I'd be interested to know if in cultures where affectionate physical contact between men is de rigeur there is a difference in the levels of non-physical affirmation of affection that men and women seem to require.
(Note: I'm not saying women don't seek praise and gestures of affection other than the physical - I'm just saying they seem to suffer from the lack of it less than men do. Just as men seem to suffer less from the lack of physical (non-sexual) affection. And, I repeat, there are always exceptions.)
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I have thoughts... and they're a 'no' to that one.
In fact, they are the cuddliest (OK... that was a huge assumption.... of course 'thin' people have self esteem issues too, don't they!
)OK then..... The cuddly ones are affectionate :biggrin1: (but then they have less sex....
)But I also think those with low self-esteem need more hugs and affection too and will probably go look for it more.
Maybe I'll go away and think about this a bit longer.... is the sun over the yard arm yet?!!?
Fancy a crack at why and in what ways?
I have to admit that I have thought about this quite a lot today nd thought I had some interesting things to say, but given the above responses, I am going to rethink.
And no K8, the sun is still up
Oh God, I'm like an ex smoker. Our sailing rule is that somewhere in the world the sun is over the yardarm and therefore in solidarity with our sailing global community, we should drink.
I have found that men tend to need constant assurance that they are sexually attractive to their mates and if they are not getting that assurance at home, they tend to go looking for it. Women, on the other hand, tend to need more generalised signs of affection, such as pet names, cuddles, kisses, etc. In the bedroom, men seem to me to be content if they get plenty of sex (this satisfies their need to be assured of their sexual attractiveness). On the other hand, while women want sex too, they tend to need other signs of affection outside the bedroom in order not to feel objectified in the bedroom.
Principessa
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Grrr, where do you get these cockamamie ideas?!?
midlifebear
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But dear njqt466 (She walks in beauty, as the night), you know it's more complicated than that. Of course women and men both need affection, but women also need more shoes. The latter is sometimes misinterpreted as a sign of insecurity. Of course WE (as in you and me) know better.
Nice sombrero, by the way.
Nice sombrero, by the way.
I am not so sure about that manly, I am currently dating a guy who to needs a lot of physical affection and comfort, he likes to be hugged, petted, kissed and made to feel secure. He's very confident and self-assured not to mention personally sucessful; he projects as very alpha to the outside world.
But when it's one to one, not exclusively in the bedroom, he is very touchy feely. I am the complete opposite but I have learned to enjoy giving him the affection he needs; for example I used to hate just holding hands with guys when out and about but he prefers to have an arm around me. I now find his open displays of affection very charming, enhancing his masculinity rather than detracting from it.
When a guy puts his arm around a woman in public, he is signaling to other males that he possesses her (that is, she is his). It's interesting that you see this as a sign of affection rather than ownership but it just goes to show the different interpretations that women put on things without going into gender differences.
I do see it as a affection and not ownership, he puts an arm around me when we are in the cinema or just chilling in front of the tv and there are no other males around to see it. He certainly doesn't demonstrate any of the other usual types of propriety behaviour.
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