Or are they simply more aware of the "power" behind sex than men are? Or do men really just want it more? My question comes from a decades worth of experience with girls/women (I'm 23). I've noticed that in a relationship, there invariably comes a point where the sex slows down to a standstill. It's not that she doesn't want it anymore - I make a point of learning her hotspots and try to play them, getting her breathing hard, but she'll invariably say "don't turn me on, I don't want to now." Of course, none of you know me, and there may be things about my personality causing this. But from what I hear about marriage and what I've seen from other long term relationships, this "he wants to, but she no longer does" story seems to be universal. Is the image of a woman with a libido that matches that of a man, and the mentality of "I want it, you want it, fuck it, let's do it!" a false ideal perpetuated by the porn industry? Is there some sort of power play going on, where sex is being used as a tool of control? Are women saying "no" to themselves?