Do you agree with this article from pink news

[Nomadic]

You're absolutely right. Not everyone's life is the same. And similarly, not all people are the same.

- not all women who go to gay bars molest gay men
- not all straight men intend to beat up gay people
- not all gay people need the company of other gay people to lead a fulfilling life
- not all Muslims want to round up gay people and throw them off buildings.

People are diverse, more than simply by skin colour, gender or sexuality.

Hiding away in ghettos, whether they be gay ghettos, racial ghettos, religious ghettos, etc. achieve little other than to breed rumours, lies, ignorance, stereotypes, fear, paranoia and needless rivalry.

Get out into the world. Step outside of your comfort zone. Befriend people outside of your obvious peer group. You will be surprised, and you will understand better how you fit into the world and what you can bring to the world. Be the person to change perspectives, break stereotypes and challenge preconceptions

Making broad, ignorant, generalisations about vast scores of people based on isolated incidents and hearsay do no good for anyone.

 

[Isiahsin434]

Please go back and reread my entire post. Nowhere did I "try to say that this didn't happened". Nowhere. In fact, after asking you, the person who posted the article link twice, specific questions, IF you can't answer the questions I asked, no problem. Just say "I don't know".

In case you missed it, here's my closing thought:



There was absolutely no need for you to go negative and say: "how sick you must be a gay man who was brainwash feminism". Cuz that tells me a lot about you. And it's not pretty.

Next time, just say "I don't know" when you don't know. It will reflect much more positively on YOU than your post to be above did. Period. Sheesh.

whatever feminists gay boy

 

[Nudistpig]

I have the most fabu idea. How about we throw parties designed to cater to the crowds we think should be? No gay bar is filled with gay men more than two nights a week now. Do your classic men with pit stink n leather laced poppers bum classic (ok I will be there) fetish or denim rules party, do your genderqueer, do your ladies night for the sisters of sappho and the diesel dominion, do drag nights, do trans focused events, so on and so forth and build bridges between the promoters and the spaces and the communities and use the power of special spaces to build not to tear things down. Straight folx welcome at any event as long as they pass and don't come in a gaggle of plaid brad or flecky becky. Like honestly, if they love the beaver or suck the bone, who are we to judge? Drunken bachelorette number 56 getting up to push queen off stage to drunkenly sing "My Heart Will Go On" laced with homophobia? Absolutely not.

This idea that straight women are sexually assaulting gay men is a silly fantasy. “Safe spaces” are a load of wank. I'm delighted if straight people want to come to gay bars and would hope they are happy for gay people to frequent straight bars. It means we accept and are comfortable with each other. It is the breaking down of stigma and sexual identity barriers. Isn't that what we want? Or do you just want segregation?

Actually, drunken straight bachelorettes are assaulting gay men, most often drag queens and most often the hostess who won't let them up on stage. Femme presenting gay men get a whole other range of treatment and BIPOC even moreso. The issue is blown out of proportion, which is unfortunate because the really problematic thing going on is straight women sexually assaulting gay men and vice versa. Many gay dudes drunk grab every boob they see. Not cool. Same women grab my ass balls, cock, nipples, etc. The men do it too, so it's not entirely their fault but... In some ways, it's replicating heteronormative bar behaviour, but in other ways, it's exploration of social taboo, which is not to justify any of it.

As for safe spaces, think of it like this. You might not feel uncomfortable in the world. Bravo. Neither do I. But last year, there was an older trans woman crying in the street at the foot of our village here as construction workers taunted her and hurled insults. People walked on by. No one did anything as she cried "help me, help me". So I yelled at the workers to get back to work, I was taking their shift time and reporting the whole team for hate crimes to their head office, the foreman, and human rights commission. I then had to clear the gawkers who wanted to "help". I asked her if she needed the police or an ambulance. She refused, so I walked with her to the 519 community center where there is a trans drop in.

Safe space, only trans folks, no explanations needed, just support, where else to go? She would have been deadnamed at the hospital, maybe roughed up by the cops or dismissed or laughed at, had endured what turned out to be 20 minutes of verbal assaults while no one did a thing (she had a breakdown during and was panicking, her coworkers among those who walked by), people were laughing, and this in broad daylight in the gay village of Toronto. Yeah, a load of wank.

 

[Nudistpig]

I read this article you linked. I'm struggling with this portion in particular:

"Something fell from the unit and I bent down to pick it up – that’s when she pounced by violently pushing her fingers inside me.”

It took all of his strength to push her away, he added.

“I couldn’t believe what was happening – it was a brutal and painful assault,” he said.

Afterwards he was left bleeding and "felt like he had been raped", he added."

Since you took time to post this article twice in this thread, perhaps you can provide more info than I saw in this link? Cuz I got a few questions that the article doesn't seem to address:

1. What is a "Unit" that supposedly something fell from?
2. Were the people at this party clothed?
3. If so, how then was this woman able to penetrate him through his trousers and undies? She must have one very strong finger...
4. Where his pants and undies ripped?
5. Were there any witnesses?

Cuz from reading the article several times, it sure leaves out a lot of details that must have been considered for the "evil woman" to have been found guilty of sexual assault in August after a trial at Glasgow Sheriff Court and then placed on the Sex Offender’s Register and ordered to do 120 hours of community service.

Not saying it isn't true. I'm saying I'm struggling because of so much missing information.

Just FYI I have had two (well, let's be fair, two while working or clubbing) unwanted rough digital penetrations of my anus. One was a gay man, the other a presumably straight woman. To answer, I was nude the second time in a space designated for that and the first time in leather and chaps.

When I walked the street naked during Pride alone two summers ago, I was spanked groped touched, fondled and otherwise harassed by every straight woman in arm's reach. I just put up with it, except the one lady that decided to run up behind me taking my 100th selfie with tourists and smack my ass hard. That took real class. The only man to touch was straight and he asked. The gay dudes were rolling their eyes and making gagging sounds.

 

[Rarefied]

Most of the "rules" that woman wrote in her article were stupid, but I'd rather gay spaces remained gay spaces. We don't need a gaggle of women on a hen night flooding into a gay bar, and straight men chasing them.

I went to Porn Idol once at G-A-Y in London, and a straight girl got up on stage and stripped, and ended up taking away the money. Honestly, there's a million places where any woman can flash her vag for cash in a city, why can't we just keep our few remaining spaces for us?

 

[Nudistpig]

Most of the "rules" that woman wrote in her article were stupid, but I'd rather gay spaces remained gay spaces. We don't need a gaggle of women on a hen night flooding into a gay bar, and straight men chasing them.

I went to Porn Idol once at G-A-Y in London, and a straight girl got up on stage and stripped, and ended up taking away the money. Honestly, there's a million places where any woman can flash her vag for cash in a city, why can't we just keep our few remaining spaces for us?

I don't know, I spent 25 years of my life creating, innovating and preserving those spaces so I did my bit. When I don't like what's on offer, I throw my own party. BTW I strip at str8 strip bars and get 10 bucks sometimes. Frankly, that is the management's issue but you did go to a night called "porn idol" at a club called G A Y and well past its due date. Horse Meat Disco at the Eagle chap, or for a spot of fisting on the heath.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Gay bars should be gender segregated. Men (including transmen) only or women only.

If people want to mix with other genders they can go to any old straight bar.

What if my gay male friends are not comfortable in straight bars, but do want my company? There was a gay bar in The Village in which I spent so much time that I had a theme song. If I walked in on a Tuesday night and either the hostess or the DJ spotted me, my music qued up. That hostess works in Queens now. I saw a flyer, and thought it would be fun to surprise her last year when I was ironically in town for an intervention for the man who introduced us. I didn't recognize the DJ. I stayed out of the hostess' sight until I had a karaoke request in mind. I asked the bartender if she was still drinking double vodka with a splash of cranberry. I got stopped by an old acquaintance before I could go see the hostess and the bartender must have pointed me out to her. Mid-sentence she exclaimed, "Oh my God, it's my friend [AlteredEgo's real given name]! I don't care how much vodka you buy me, Honey, we're still just friends. Just kidding! Buy me more vodka, we'll see. Raise your glass, or your ass: Cheers to queers, and all who suck dick on Tuesdays."

She is my favorite drag queen in the whole city. And yes, I have drunkenly yelled at a dude at one of her shows to "Show us your tits!" But to be fair, she started it. And, I paid him, and encouraged others to pay him too. I also showed him mine when he asked. Fair is fair. That's another story.

I feel like if I wasn't a good guest, she wouldn't encourage me, wouldn't keep me apprised of her venue changes, wouldn't invite me to exclusive after parties, wouldn't approach me out of drag, wouldn't introduce me to relatives, and definitely would never have given me a theme song. Besides. Have you been to straight karaoke? Not the same animal. At all. No thanks. I don't wanna go. And I've been to lesbian bars. Lesbians hate me. Polite pass. I think the current system is fine. Patrons just need to respect their environment, and the culture of the venue. I look around, start conversations, buy rounds, dance if appropriate, sing if appropriate, share food, you know. Bar stuff.

A lot of my male friends are gay and do not do straight bars. We're going to keep doing what we do when we do what we do.

 

[1241586]

You're absolutely right. Not everyone's life is the same. And similarly, not all people are the same.

- not all women who go to gay bars molest gay men
- not all straight men intend to beat up gay people
- not all gay people need the company of other gay people to lead a fulfilling life
- not all Muslims want to round up gay people and throw them off buildings.

People are diverse, more than simply by skin colour, gender or sexuality.

Hiding away in ghettos, whether they be gay ghettos, racial ghettos, religious ghettos, etc. achieve little other than to breed rumours, lies, ignorance, stereotypes, fear, paranoia and needless rivalry.

Get out into the world. Step outside of your comfort zone. Befriend people outside of your obvious peer group. You will be surprised, and you will understand better how you fit into the world and what you can bring to the world. Be the person to change perspectives, break stereotypes and challenge preconceptions

Making broad, ignorant, generalisations about vast scores of people based on isolated incidents and hearsay do no good for anyone.

This is why you should explore sexual fluidity and challenge your monosexuality.

 

[Nudistpig]

This is why you should explore sexual fluidity and challenge your monosexuality.

Not everyone can.

 

[1241586]

Not everyone can.

I disagree. It's due to monosexual conditioning and how they understand sex which causes the resistance to accept and explore.

 

[1178303]

I disagree. It's due to monosexual conditioning and how they understand sex which causes the resistance to accept and explore.

Anyone can explore. Not everyone will enjoy as much as the next person.

 

[1241586]

Anyone can explore. Not everyone will enjoy as much as the next person.

If you think of penetrative sex as being the only real sex that would happen. If you broaden emotional and physical intimacy on a spectrum from non-sexual to sexual, you'll find most people do or have or will at some point in their lives participated in non-heterosexual sexual activity, yet don't define it as 'real sex' and still found it pleasurable.

It's like the assumption many people make about same sex attracted men, not all men who have sex with men engage in anal penetrative sex as either/or the penetrative or receptive partner.

 

[Nudistpig]

I disagree. It's due to monosexual conditioning and how they understand sex which causes the resistance to accept and explore.

If it were this simple we'd not have trauma and issues galore about sex and sexuality. Not everyone can make the cognitive leaps this issue requires

 

[1241586]

If it were this simple we'd not have trauma and issues galore about sex and sexuality. Not everyone can make the cognitive leaps this issue requires

Just observe the younger generations with sexual fluidity. It's really interesting what is happening culturally.

 

[Nudistpig]

Just observe the younger generations with sexual fluidity. It's really interesting what is happening culturally.

Sure I am ,this is my area of research and community volunteerism in sexual health and programming all kinds of parties workshops and retreats has given me a front row seat on these shifts. My caveat isn't disagreement with the idea or the phenomenon. it's recognition of the fact that we still have lots to do. I have in recent years seen an uptick of very naive, very insecure and deeply confused LGBTQ2 young men and women.

 

[1241586]

Sure I am ,this is my area of research and community volunteerism in sexual health and programming all kinds of parties workshops and retreats has given me a front row seat on these shifts. My caveat isn't disagreement with the idea or the phenomenon. it's recognition of the fact that we still have lots to do. I have in recent years seen an uptick of very naive, very insecure and deeply confused LGBTQ2 young men and women.

I've noticed that here in Australia as well with young gay, lesbian and gender diverse.

Yet the ones who seem to be most emotionally mature are the bisexual+ youth. I've been flabbergasted at how some young men are open about their bisexuality and how it's been accepted by their peers.

 

[Nudistpig]

I've noticed that here in Australia as well with young gay, lesbian and gender diverse.

Yet the ones who seem to be most emotionally mature are the bisexual+ youth. I've been flabbergasted at how some young men are open about their bisexuality and how it's been accepted by their peers.

Australia has a strong undercurrent of bisexuality as it's the working class' heritage from celtic and germanic cultures, more relaxed attitudes around sex overall. There is broad support for the bisexual male and female, because traditional family goals are maintained and the deviation from the norm isn't as severe. The media landscape rewards these youth in many cases with very positive visions of themselves, and this generation has decided that affection, touch and intimacy are things they do with pride. They are able to maintain some heteronormative privilege while accessing the richness of LGBTQ culture to expand horizons and bring non normative ideas into their lives. Young men in general are much more open (under 25) than they were a decade ago. In reality, I am also bisexual, but choose gayness as the placeholder because it's the one I am most comfortable working with, and the one most disruptive of the moral order when need be.

 

[bwhip1011]

I don't know what to make of any of this. I haven't been to a gay bar/club in years, but used to a great deal and there were no straight people there. I must be very out of touch. I've lived in NYC, DC, LA, and a many other larger cities and don't recall any of it. This was in the 80s. Perhaps I just didn't notice, but I didn't see any such thing and also don't understand why the author says gay bars on the decline. Is this true? I would think the opposite. I'm very out of the loop on all of this.

 

[Sam baker]

How about Pakistan? I spent two weeks there in October with my husband. We made friends (straight friends) who are totally cool with us. In fact, they support LGBT rights.

The world is going to be hateful if you look for the hate.

If you look for peace, love and tolerance, you might find that instead.

Gosh, you're an angry, shouty, aggressive man. Chill out.

View attachment 1421309

I dont want to sound ignorant at all. I dont if i will. But why as a gay man would you want to go to a country like Pakistan and Myanmar, where homosexuality is illegal, as well as with your husband (btw y'all cute). Like i know not all Muslims are homophobes or terrorists and not all gays are queens and james Charles.

I just want to know, what made you want to go there.

 

[linniejr]

I know that this article is old, but I'm going to read it and come back with my opinion. Just from what I read, If a so called straight person goes to a gay bar, he,she, or they should get with the program and act like they have some sense first of all. 2, Realize that if you are straight and in a gay bar, you are going to be read, because, there is a reason why you are in a gay bar. I could say more, but I want to read the article first. Like Arnold said, I'll be back.