Do you attract what you project?

pavement

Experimental Member
Joined
Mar 9, 2007
Posts
413
Media
0
Likes
5
Points
163
Location
New Zealand
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
It's a quote from the Beatles song "The End". You can find it, ironically enough, at the end of Abbey Road Lafever...and the first thing that came to my mind. Well referenced Uncut :smile:

It's so simple that i've overlooked it. Could the answer to lifes questions and trials and tribulations be that simple, hidden in songs.

We all live in a yellow submarine.

Row row row your boat life is but a dream.

Hmmmmmmm....... ok, now i'm distrought.

chris[/quote]



I quite liked the variant
"The life you leave is = to the life you lead
 

billybones

Superior Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2007
Posts
3,510
Media
0
Likes
3,148
Points
333
Gender
Male
It's kind of hard to answer this honestly and not sound like an arrogant jerk, but I'll do it anyway.

I project myself as a confident, indifferent and stoic person. In a lot of ways, I am all of those things. But, in a lot of ways, I'm just as sensative and fragile as the next guy. (All guys) These, however, are not the types of guys I attract. More often than not, I attract black holes of emotional need who almost always end up being too sensative. Which has always ended up making me uncomfortable. It would likely be easier if I was up front about my feelings or lack of desire to take it any further, but I don't enjoy hurting people and that's what always happens. In fact, I think the majority of my relationships have been needlessly drawn out one night stands that I didn't have the courage to cut off before they became bad relationships. But, the converse of that is when I have gay friends that I don't want to date or ever sleep with, and I always seem to piss them off eventually, when I do get into a relationship.

All my close friends are the same one's I've had since elementry school, and they're straight. One gay friend of mine and I had known each other for about a year when I started dating a guy, and when he found out, he stormed out of the club we were all at, went home and cut his wrists. Now, he only really did it for show and attention, but it becamse a real eye-opener.

The number of stories I have like that are legion. So, maybe I'm a freak and that's who I attract, but I think I'm a pretty realistic and level-headed guy who tries his best to be fair and honest with everyone, including myself.
 

Chokebloke

Just Browsing
Joined
Dec 18, 2007
Posts
40
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
91
Location
UK
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
It's kind of hard to answer this honestly and not sound like an arrogant jerk, but I'll do it anyway.

I project myself as a confident, indifferent and stoic person. In a lot of ways, I am all of those things. But, in a lot of ways, I'm just as sensative and fragile as the next guy. (All guys) These, however, are not the types of guys I attract. More often than not, I attract black holes of emotional need who almost always end up being too sensative. Which has always ended up making me uncomfortable. It would likely be easier if I was up front about my feelings or lack of desire to take it any further, but I don't enjoy hurting people and that's what always happens. In fact, I think the majority of my relationships have been needlessly drawn out one night stands that I didn't have the courage to cut off before they became bad relationships. But, the converse of that is when I have gay friends that I don't want to date or ever sleep with, and I always seem to piss them off eventually, when I do get into a relationship.

All my close friends are the same one's I've had since elementry school, and they're straight. One gay friend of mine and I had known each other for about a year when I started dating a guy, and when he found out, he stormed out of the club we were all at, went home and cut his wrists. Now, he only really did it for show and attention, but it becamse a real eye-opener.

The number of stories I have like that are legion. So, maybe I'm a freak and that's who I attract, but I think I'm a pretty realistic and level-headed guy who tries his best to be fair and honest with everyone, including myself.
Hey, Billybones. Really feel for you, man.

Have travelled a similar emotional road (with both men and women, whether sexually expressed or not) and eventually realised that the key thing is to be true to myself without constantly hiding the truth from others for fear of 'hurting' them. Fewer mixed messages from me, less confusion in what comes my way.

Express your core, man, and be true to who you really are. That's the best way to relate. Others' shit is theirs, not ours.

Wish you all the best, mate
 

Chokebloke

Just Browsing
Joined
Dec 18, 2007
Posts
40
Media
0
Likes
0
Points
91
Location
UK
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
I have heard more than once, they deserve each other or they were made for each other.
Either way it seems like people attract what they project.

Happy or miserable, do you think we get what we project in ourselves, and if so is that a reflection of where we're at? (spiritual or spiritual bankruptcy)
chris
I'd say we attract not so much what we project but more what is co-relative to what we project.
 

B_Hung Jon

Loved Member
Joined
Jul 4, 2007
Posts
4,124
Media
0
Likes
535
Points
193
Location
Los Angeles, California
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
Yes. we attract people who want to feed off of us.

From my limited experience I think we attract people who also have similar things going on inside of them whether positive or negative. I don't think it's all one thing or the other. If I project coldness then others might relate to that in me. If I project warmth then people may treat me with kindness.
 

DC_DEEP

Sexy Member
Joined
Apr 13, 2005
Posts
8,714
Media
0
Likes
93
Points
183
Sexuality
No Response
I'm not sure about the original question, and I'm not sure what I attract; I try to be as uncomplicated as I can, and that's what I look for in friends and lovers. It took me a long, long, time, but I finally found the partner I was looking for. Over time, yes, I did attract other types, but I rejected them as soon as I realized how scheming and manipulative they were.

Oh, and being complementary helps a lot. We have some shared interests, some individual interests, and our strengths and weaknesses mesh well - in other words, my strong areas match his weaknesses, and his strong areas match my weaknesses. We make a pretty strong couple!
 

B_Bette

Experimental Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2006
Posts
473
Media
0
Likes
7
Points
163
Location
CT
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Female
I think there's some truth the law of attraction as well. On most days, I feel like I'm a positive person and other people will respond to it well if you put it out there. On the other hand, if you're feeling sour, I think you've already pre-programmed in your head that things will go sour outside of you, too. It's a matter of perception. If you feel like crap, you tend to notice crappy things because that's what your focus is on within yourself.

I also think that the things that piss you off about other people are the things, deep down, that you hate within yourself. You get vocal about the things going on external to you because you don't have to take accountability for them. I may not like gossipers, but if I do it, I think I'll learn something if I recognize, "Oh shit, I'm doing it, too."

Well said.
 

Primal_Savage

Cherished Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2007
Posts
874
Media
28
Likes
394
Points
128
Location
Southeast
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
If out of town (because I'm closeted), it seems that if I go into a club in 501's and a white T showing off my bod and bulge it's only a matter of minutes before I'm hit on by guys in similar attire.
 

johnlucas-1

Experimental Member
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Posts
123
Media
0
Likes
8
Points
238
Location
American Southeast
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Think of it in the elementals?

The elements of our physicality (not just talking about body but face, eyes, all that) and the elements of our mentality...

Are some elements complimentary? This type of being gets the inverse of that type. Or are some additive? This type of being gets more duplicates of that type. Or are some tempestuous? This type of being gets a type of being that will always clash by its design.

I really think this can be mapped out if we understood the brain better. There are elements which make up our emotional and mental personas. And then our image (what we look like) and audio (what we sound like) add further layers to the puzzle.
Even our odor and flavor (what we smell and taste like).
Not to mention our auras. (what we feel like).

Elements become composite when all included together which create the situation where certain elements in that composite draw one type of thing while others draws another type. And depending on the elemental makeup what's drawn in can clash with an associate element which causes all the confusion since we don't realize any of this going on.

I don't think it's as simple 'we attract what we project'. There's some individual components inside our being that have a certain relationship with other components and will always behave that way only that we all have varying setups of those components.


The question is what are all these elements and how do they work?
John Lucas
 

Supersized

Sexy Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2005
Posts
913
Media
0
Likes
31
Points
163
Age
51
Location
New Jersey
Sexuality
No Response
I have heard more than once, they deserve each other or they were made for each other.
Either way it seems like people attract what they project.

Happy or miserable, do you think we get what we project in ourselves, and if so is that a reflection of where we're at? (spiritual or spiritual bankruptcy)
chris

I believe that 100%. I have seen it in my life and read about it.
 

SilverSoldier

Experimental Member
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Posts
193
Media
0
Likes
17
Points
238
Location
Salt Lake City, UT
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
I have heard more than once, they deserve each other or they were made for each other.
Either way it seems like people attract what they project.

Happy or miserable, do you think we get what we project in ourselves, and if so is that a reflection of where we're at? (spiritual or spiritual bankruptcy)
chris


Um yes, a very serious YES. You attract what you are. If you don't like it, envision being the kind of person you want to become and act as if you are that person right now.

It works. You just have to keep practicing it all the time.

But please don't practice being a jackass.
:rolleyes::tongue::biggrin1:
 

lafever

Superior Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2007
Posts
4,934
Media
28
Likes
2,753
Points
333
Location
USA
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Ok, i've read many wise and incitefull posts, there are so many so i'll just say thanks to all who've contributed thus far. From the many incitefull posts i have come to wonder what if. The question i ponder is actually in two parts; What if a person has mastered the art of becomeing what another person seeks, does this make that person a threat to society, (as a person who can get whatever they want at the expense of others) to himself, (losing his real identity over time and forgetting what makes him happy) or both?
And if so, what kind of emotional damage(disabilities of the mind) can occur from said behavior?
chris
 

arliss

Sexy Member
Joined
Jul 22, 2006
Posts
2,660
Media
2
Likes
45
Points
183
Location
New York
Sexuality
69% Straight, 31% Gay
Gender
Male
Ok, i've read many wise and incitefull posts, there are so many so i'll just say thanks to all who've contributed thus far. From the many incitefull posts i have come to wonder what if. The question i ponder is actually in two parts; What if a person has mastered the art of becomeing what another person seeks, does this make that person a threat to society, (as a person who can get whatever they want at the expense of others) to himself, (losing his real identity over time and forgetting what makes him happy) or both?
And if so, what kind of emotional damage(disabilities of the mind) can occur from said behavior?
chris
ummm speaking of emotional damage...have you sought the help you so desperately needed ?
 

lafever

Superior Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2007
Posts
4,934
Media
28
Likes
2,753
Points
333
Location
USA
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
ummm speaking of emotional damage...have you sought the help you so desperately needed ?

I sent you a pm arliss, for anyone else wondering you can read my blog, i try and keep that stuff away from the open forums nowadays, as it attracts............. well you know.
chris
 

lafever

Superior Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2007
Posts
4,934
Media
28
Likes
2,753
Points
333
Location
USA
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Think of it in the elementals?

The elements of our physicality (not just talking about body but face, eyes, all that) and the elements of our mentality...

Are some elements complimentary? This type of being gets the inverse of that type. Or are some additive? This type of being gets more duplicates of that type. Or are some tempestuous? This type of being gets a type of being that will always clash by its design.

I really think this can be mapped out if we understood the brain better. There are elements which make up our emotional and mental personas. And then our image (what we look like) and audio (what we sound like) add further layers to the puzzle.
Even our odor and flavor (what we smell and taste like).
Not to mention our auras. (what we feel like).

Elements become composite when all included together which create the situation where certain elements in that composite draw one type of thing while others draws another type. And depending on the elemental makeup what's drawn in can clash with an associate element which causes all the confusion since we don't realize any of this going on.

I don't think it's as simple 'we attract what we project'. There's some individual components inside our being that have a certain relationship with other components and will always behave that way only that we all have varying setups of those components.


The question is what are all these elements and how do they work?
John Lucas

I had to come back to this one and read it twice, very interesting thoughts.
It makes me also wonder beyond physical attributtes as well, if i'm getting you correctly, your touching the boundaries of as you said mentality.
That's a scary thought, to think that if two bipolar people have children that the children will carry this trait(passed on through DNA).
We can also take that to a spiritual level as well which is a sobering thought.
Hmmmmmm............ much to think about, especially if bad traits are more dominate than lesser ones, and are more likely to have more children than the lesser one thus obtaining the majority.
Let me know if you have any more thoughts in depth on this, my interest is at its peak.
chris
 

D_Coyne Toss

Expert Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2004
Posts
1,750
Media
0
Likes
176
Points
193
Until the girl who now is my wife, I used to attract every single girl with a sort of mental illness, I use this word just because I don't know a more appropriate
one in English.

I am not joking: depressed, bipolar, alimentation disorder afflcted girls all seemed to be looking for a date with me. I don't know why:dunno:: maybe because I looked calm, confident and kind? Because one has to be crazy to date me?

Anyway, luckly then I met miss right, and I am so happy.