Do you avoid sleeping with people, because you are afraid they will fall in love?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_New End, Jun 7, 2008.

  1. B_New End

    B_New End New Member

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    I do. I would sleep with a lot more people, and have one night stands, but I am afraid of telling them to leave the morning after.
     
  2. Awesum9

    Awesum9 New Member

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    Ever hear of Find Them, Feed Them , Fuck Them and say good night?
     
  3. Principessa

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    New End have you tried being less spectacular in bed? It didn't work the 2 times I tried it; but it might work for you. The only thing more awkward than that next morning wondering why they are lingering, is when he calls to ask if you want to get together for a movie or dinner. I can remember stammering out, "uhmm no, I thought that was a one night stand."



    :lmao: So don't bring them home, go to their place. Leave when you want. Problem solved. :tongue:


    No, but I am suddenly glad I am not prone to one-night-stands anymore. :cool:
     
    #3 Principessa, Jun 7, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2008
  4. killerb

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    I'm not the guy who sleeps around anyway, but, yes I do avoid sleeping with some people for just that reason - I think they might catch feelings.

    I've had a couple of friends who wanted to add "benefits" to the friendship & I've avoided it...didn't want to risk the friendships.
     
  5. HazelGod

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    Grow some sack. :biggrin1:
     
  6. nashboy

    nashboy Active Member

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    umm...wow...i can see why. HOT.:redface:
     
  7. art

    art
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    Agree even before the clothes come off the boundaries of the evening. Like say you have an 8 o'clock class, even if you don't. Or you've got to get home early because your brother needs to borrow the car. Or you've go to go to work.

    (BTW, I would use all of these excuses at once!)

    The point if, the guy knows in advance that he's not staying much beyond sunrise, so make the most of the the time you've got.

    If the sex is great, call him back for a date on a night when your next day's schedule is more "open" and maybe you can spend some more quality time snogging and snuggling in the mutual afterglow.

    I never want to spend the next day with one-night stands. The whole point of the encounter is it's a cute guy you don't know, but whom you hope is sexy and sweet. (And showered and wears clean underwear....I could go on for days!)
     
  8. snottybooger

    snottybooger New Member

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    YES. THIS IS MEEEEE. and i would also be more willing to experiment with another guy, except its hard to find another 24 year old in the same position as me... most guys willing to experiment with me are gay or bi with experience. i am afraid of them being too attached. but the same goes for girls... i am not willing to commit myself to anything at this stage in my life.
     
  9. kalipygian

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    No. Rather it is a disappointment when a guy gets off, and then rolls away and ignores me, and does not want to cuddle.
     
  10. Honey123

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    I avoid sleeping with people for fear I might fall in love. I can get terribly attached. That and the risk of disease.
     
  11. strike4

    strike4 New Member

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    I definitely have the problem of people becoming attached...

    It doesn't stop me from having good sex, but it makes me think twice about who I will take home. If you are only looking for sex, a bar is a good place to meet people. When you go home with someone from a bar, there are few expectations for the next day. It gets trickier when it's someone in your social circle.
     
  12. D_Ollyvalle Treegirth

    D_Ollyvalle Treegirth Account Disabled

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    I don't avoid hook-ups, b/c I never assume in advance this (the otehr guy getting a crush) could happen. but it DOES. It's distressing to think that a simple roll in the hay could give someone the worng impression. I can't bear to hurt anyone, and would have avoided the whole tihng to begin with if I'd known. There are a lot of people out there who really are lonely I think. I'm not blaming them, but hunting for sex is probably not the best way to find a partner.
     
  13. maestro071

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    Well, it's not easy if she is hot chick, lol. But, after first sex, i try to put it clear, what I am interested in... Usually after while they accept it well. If not, then goodbye...
     
  14. Rommette

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    I must admit i do get attached easily at times (but only in relationships). If I ask for only sex then its fine. He wont expect a relationship and i surely wont. Maybe fucking partners or something. sex on a regular basis would be fine without being in a relationship if it is agreed to. If the sex with this person is really good i probably would only have sex with that person but because there wont be a relationship i would still flirt, talk and have phone sex with others.
     
  15. B_Demention

    B_Demention New Member

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    Yeah, this has always been one of my issues too. I used to think I was strange for not wanting commitment from girls - like I'd make out with one at a party or something and she'd assume we were together from that moment on, whereas I'd be like "what? I never wanted that". It happened often enough that I thought there was something wrong with me. It's only as I get older that I realize what a faulty system cohabitation/monogamy etc. really is - I can't believe any man is genuinely okay with it. To be fair, I've never been in love or even in awe of any woman, but a lot of guys I speak to have the same reluctance with regards to getting attached. It seems at times that as a man, you can even be perfectly happy with your partner and still want more. Even if I do meet Ms. Right, I still get the feeling that I'll never want to stop sowing my wild oats.
     
  16. Jovial

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    Yes...well, at least I think about it. I like to be wanted. I like that feeling. So I don't want to hold back. I want whoever I'm with to love me. I don't know how to be into someone enough to make sex great for them, then tell them that I don't like them that much. It's less a concern as I get older. I think the key is to just be honest with your partner and remain firm if he/she becomes attached.
     
  17. Jovial

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    I also wonder the opposite: Do any women avoid getting involved with me because they think I will fall in love with them? I'd hate to think that was true since I don't fall in love easily.
     
  18. midlifebear

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    I must be living on a completely different planet. The majority of these posts make no sense to me at all.
     
  19. Lex

    Lex
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    A lot of people confuse sex with love. AlteredEgo made some really good posts about this in another thread. When I dated women, I was totally honest about NOT loving them if I didn't. I never said "I love you" just to get laid and I never said I was dating someone exclusively if I wasn't. With dating men, well, it has never been a problem (confusing sex with love).
     
  20. Lito

    Lito New Member

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    Yes, I've been avoiding some problems lately. Frankly, I feel guilty when I see those 'loving eyes' and all I want is for the person to get out so I can enjoy my own company for a bit.

    And, no matter how clear you are, people do get attached. Red flags all around when I get a call for a movie...

    There's the other side of the coin too... not wanting to sleep with someone so I won't get attached.

    oh well, life was never supposed to be simple, I suppose.
     
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