It happens. No one can say how or why or when or where. I had a guy I cared deeply about. I put myself through hell on earth for six years trying to help him, trying to save him, but couldn't. I knew he loved me in his own broken way, but his problems ruined it often. He lost his life one month prior to his 33rd birthday, three years ago next week: liver failure due to alcoholism. I was exhausted in every aspect of my being by the time he died, having spent the entire last week when he was in the hospital by his side 24-7, and dealing with that reality going forward was hard. I was hurt. I was angry. I left my job later that year becasue I needed the break and I wanted to do other things.
So I traveled. A lot. Over the next two years, attended events from CLAW to Folsom to Florida Puppy (i'm a leather pup) to DragonCon. Ultimately, I sold my beloved house in Chattanooga and moved to Atlanta. (I am from the big city (FTL, Orlando) and am much more at home in them.) In the three weeks before I moved, I went to Furry Weekend Atlanta. I was attending a pup meet and greet where I randomly met a guy from the local Atlanta pup group that I hadn't met on previous visits to Atlanta. The next day, while talking to one of the other Atlanta pups I had known for some time, I encountered him again. We spent some time hanging out together that day. nd saw each other again the next day. When moving time came, the pup I had known recruited the one I had just met to come, along with one of my long time friends from high school days, and help me load up my 4 bedroom house and move to Atlanta.
Once in Atlanta, he and I started hanging out. Three months later, we decided to call ourselves boyfriends, literally everyone gay and straight who knew us all went "it's about time you two figured it out." Looking back it wasn't surprising. He was even the one whose shoulder I wound up sobbing on in the final moments as the house stood empty and we were minutes away from leaving. We fell into an existence together as if we had known each other for years. We just "clicked." I couldn't tell you why and neithe could he. I can tell you it had nothing to do with the dopamine high of after-sex where so many confuse Lust and Love. We enjoyed sex together (and still do) but that wasn't a driving force to it. We held similar views on things--particularly sex. Neither of us finds any proof that males were made for sexual monogamy--so jealousy and cheating worries that ruin so many relationships were not and are not a concern. We know the other is the most important in our life and he comes first. We aren't duplicates of each other either. His background is computer programming. Mine is Humanities and medicine (with a presence in the sex industry, which he encourages and has done camera on some of my scenes). I am the gym rat ectomorph constantly trying to add size. He is the former very fat kid turned gym guy, who has a "bear" type build that is taking on an (American) football lineman look. I think a lot of the problems guys have is that we are so visual we have to train ourselves to look past the physical attraction and learn to connect with other guys on something other than purely on looks "my type/not my type." We tend to go for who we see that we like rather than being willing to talk to anyone and give them the opportunity to connect.