Do you comment other people in front of your partner?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by debeli, Dec 27, 2009.

  1. debeli

    debeli Active Member

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    Old(fashioned) question...

    The other day, a rather eloquent married friend said he would never comment other girls he saw in front of his, supposedly open-minded wife.
    This kind of surprised me.

    I frequently point out a nice girl's ass/body to my woman.
    She doesn't seem to mind and joke. Likewise, she would say if she saw a guy she considers hot.
    Ofcourse, I tend to date girls who are confident about their looks.

    Ladies, would you feel offended if your guy notices another girls?
    Dunno, everybody is aware this happens, I think it's best to be open about it.
     
  2. lvsxy808

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    Well, my partner and I do this all the time. But then one of the great things about being gay is that you're both attracted to the sme kind of people - ie, men. it's fun to comment about hot guys we see when we're out together - is he cute, homo or not, how big do we think he is, etc.
     
  3. mclivin86

    mclivin86 New Member

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    My bf and I are both bi and we do this all the time. For the most part we have the same taste so we don't mind having people pointed out.
     
  4. lilbear

    lilbear Member

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    Well, my husband and I do this all the time. It's fun to comment about hot guys we see when we're out together - is he cute, gay or not. It is not an issue as we both know who we will be sleeping with at night.
     
  5. TheRob

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    he's one lucky dude!

    to me it's a compliment cus I wouldn't point out a hot chick to an ugly chick, if I am telling a girl another girl is attractive, it basically means I think that first girl (the one I am talking to) is attractive
     
  6. shinato

    shinato New Member

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    if i wasn't able to comment on other people in front of my partner i don;t think we'd be together. i don't deal well with close-minded or overly jealous people.
     
  7. D_Smidley Smelliepits

    D_Smidley Smelliepits Account Disabled

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    Yeah, all the time!
     
  8. Countryguy63

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    I'm with Shinato, I wouldn't really want to be with someone that was so insecure that I couldn't voice my comments about other people. It should be able to be a normal discussion.
     
  9. Incocknito

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    Maybe it's okay then...

    I had one girl who enjoyed pointing out guys who she thought were more attractive or taller than me. But would go mad if I was even looking in the general direction of another girl.

    So maybe I am jaded because of that. I think also if I were with someone I would be of the opinion that no one else was better so it would be pointless commenting on other women.

    Hopefully she would feel the same.
     
  10. D_BobN_Weave

    D_BobN_Weave New Member

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    I don't mind it when my wife does it, but apparently it's a double standard when it comes to me saying something about another chick. I still do it and my wife knows that it is unfair for her to hold that double standard about things :)
     
  11. jjsjr

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    We're both guys and generally will agree on similar guys.
     
  12. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    Practically Never. Once in a while, he, I or we might notice a 'beautiful' person but rarely do we comment on it. We know each other well enough to read the instictive reaction. It's only natural. I guess we don't look at other people very much when out and he has never had roving eyes, which I am thankful for. However, there was once a greek waiter who was so stunning in everyway, my hubby said "He's quite handsome isn't he?" I was shocked because he is so straight, he makes a pencil look loopy. The guy was exceptional and anyone would have noticed.
     
  13. AlteredEgo

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    I only mind if he's not discreet. Usually, he's pointing out someone I already noticed, and had found equally attractive. I point out attractive people to him too, but I speak softly, and wait for them to be definitely out of earshot. Sometimes, he talks about women who aren't far enough away for my liking...
     
  14. dolfette

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    depends.
    there's a difference between pointing out beauty and acting like a letch.
    if it were done in a polite and respectful manner, rather than treating others as lumps of meat to be evaluated, then i shall most likely join in.
     
  15. ginger_qboy

    ginger_qboy Member

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    all the time!

    we like different types of guys so when we're out together we will pick out guys the other would like.

    LOL, when having to pee we will intentionally leave one urinal between us so that some poor guy gets checked-out form both sides :)
     
  16. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    I'm straight, and women don't want their man looking at other women. they know we look, but don't look too long, don't flirt back, and sure as fuck keep your mouth closed.
     
  17. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    So very smart! I foresee lots of happy outings with lovely ladies in your future :)
     
  18. eyescream

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    I wouldn't be offended if I wasn't really into my guy, I'd be very offended if I were seriously into him and was thinking of marriage. People can be very insecure about how they look, so pointing out a hot guy/girl to your partner might get them to look in the mirror and highlight their faults.

    At the risk of hurting the feelings of someone I care deeply about, it wouldn't be so classy of me to compliment a stranger who I'm not getting anything from anyway.
     
  19. NotSoDumb_Blonde

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    I have to agree with eyescream to a point. But for me there are variables, if you are secure in your relationship and the man/woman you are with is pointing out people, and you both agree, it's not harmful. If the person you are with enjoys you, thinks you're hot and is all about you, then it's cool. On the other hand, if you're fairly new to a relationship, still treading water so to speak, and not so self assured, then it's painful, I think.

    I don't tend to 'see' hot guys unless I am single, then I might scope a few out, kinda wonder about them, admire them all that. But when I'm with someone, I tend to have tunnel vision -- the person I am with gets all my attention and interest. I have sat around and 'people watched' with a partner, which is a bit different than a man I'm with being like, "damn look at that hot babe!" I think even if I were secure, I might feel a bit ...uneasy? Not sure. But if we are both saying, "wow, look at her breasts, they're perfect, not too big, not too small..." or "damn, look at that guy's muscles!" That's somehow different. I know, I know, I make no sense, but for me there is a distinction. The first comment I think is hurtful, while the second comment is just not.

    Bottom line, if we are both into 'people watching' it can be fun. If only the guy is and I feel like he's some player-- or I worry about him not being honest with me (all reasons not to be in the relationship to begin with) then checking women out is just a one more cinch on the rope he's hanging himself with....
     
  20. nick1014

    nick1014 New Member

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    I've definitely enjoyed talking about eye candy with boyfriends. It can become a fun little game of people watching sometimes. I guess it can cross a line, though, when one person starts taking more interest in the eye candy than in his boyfriend, so it's not necessarily alright in all circumstances. If you feel like your boyfriend/girlfriend is cruising, that's probably a good sign you're with the wrong person.
     
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