I have been lurking here for a while (sorry) and I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised at the generally high quality of strong opinions thoughtfully expressed. So, here’s a question for the women (not girls, females):
Do you consider withholding or rejecting sex a form of infidelity?
I am not talking about temporary lover’s quarrels, but a long-term (months, years) refusal to have sex with a spouse or significant other. And to make the problem harder, let’s add children, mortgages, tuition and careers into the mix so that the simple answer of just ending the relationship is not a ready option.
I am asking because I think some men outsource sex in such cases (whether justly or not) as a way of preserving the good parts of a marriage without having to drop the D-bomb, including all of the collateral damage that entails. Simply labeling them cheaters seems to beg the broader question of what constitutes “infidelity” in a relationship.
This is a serious (if long-winded) question that is intended to elicit your most thoughtful responses. Thanks.
Do you consider withholding or rejecting sex a form of infidelity?
I am not talking about temporary lover’s quarrels, but a long-term (months, years) refusal to have sex with a spouse or significant other. And to make the problem harder, let’s add children, mortgages, tuition and careers into the mix so that the simple answer of just ending the relationship is not a ready option.
I am asking because I think some men outsource sex in such cases (whether justly or not) as a way of preserving the good parts of a marriage without having to drop the D-bomb, including all of the collateral damage that entails. Simply labeling them cheaters seems to beg the broader question of what constitutes “infidelity” in a relationship.
This is a serious (if long-winded) question that is intended to elicit your most thoughtful responses. Thanks.