do YOU do Essex?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by xLx, Mar 13, 2008.

  1. xLx

    xLx New Member

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    How to speak South Essex!!
    alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item amant - Quantity; sum total ('Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend') assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ('That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day') branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ('Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?')
    cort a panda - A rather large hamburger Dan in the maff - Unhappy ('Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit Dan in the maff') eye-eels - Women's shoes Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: 'Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs at go in the garrij cos it aint working proper') Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island lafarjik - Lacking in energy ('I feel all lafarjik') OI OI! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport


    reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ('I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig') Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday tan - The city of London, the big smoke webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. ('Webbats is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour') wonnid - 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ('I told ya a fazzand times already')

     
  2. Deve1opment

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    Brilliant - thanks pet!

    Here's a few phrases from "Larn Yersel Geordie" just to get you started:

    [SIZE=-1]Geordie: Ah wes pelatick.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]English: I enjoyed myself.[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]
    [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Geordie: Ah scoredwithabord.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]English: I made the acquaintance of a young woman.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]Geordie: Howay doon to the Chinese, pet.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]English: Would you care to dine with me?[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]Geordie: Mindshesweelstacked.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]English: What a stunning figure that young lady has.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]Geordie: Ootside! Yeandme![/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]English: Let us settle this matter in a civilised manner. Man to man like gentlemen.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]Geordie: Gissies tetties and bagies.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]English: I wish to order pork, potatoes and a little turnip, please.[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=-1]Geordie: Worbairn's hacky mucky.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]English: The baby needs a wash.[/SIZE]
    [​IMG]
    ... and a link to the latest version of Windows (Geordie version)

    Brevcom Community Forum :: View topic - Larn Yersel' Geordie

    well who can we laugh at if not ourselves?? lol
     
  3. xLx

    xLx New Member

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    hahahaha oh these are brilliant!

    thankyou!! is there a book of these because seriously ill buy it....

     
  4. Deve1opment

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  5. xLx

    xLx New Member

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  6. Deve1opment

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    ah but Bob and Vic are not geordies!!

    they're smoggies (from Teesside).
     
  7. xLx

    xLx New Member

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    ach, so they've nah reet tae be lampoonin' wah geordie hettige?!

    i've gone off them now. mind you, i'm not technically from essex so i really shouldn't have posted that.....oh well it's not ganna arfend no-one izzit?
     
  8. Deve1opment

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    it'll be reet!
     
  9. D_golden parachute

    D_golden parachute New Member

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    Most of what you posted isn't actually spoken
     
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