Do you even care anymore

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Wilde316, Nov 2, 2010.

  1. Wilde316

    Wilde316 Member

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    After spending about 3 years with my last girlfriend I realize that a long time ago she stopped really mentioning the size of my cock. It wasn't an issue she was still satisfied with it and we both were quite content sexually. It does leave me with a question.

    Is there ever a time when you stop caring about the size of your man. Or when its no longer something you ever think about.

    I know in new relationships its a big deal but with longer term relationships it doesn't seem to be until its over. My ex now has come back several times for booty calls and has started mentioning the size again. Just wondering if this is common.
     
  2. kc2007

    kc2007 Member

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    Yes, it definitely becomes less important or less of a novelty over time. But really it's just like anything else...beauty, sense of humor, intelligence. Although it's better to have any one of these things than not, for your partner needs a reminder every now and again why they fell for you in the first place...whether it be a massive cock plowing into her or something else.
     
  3. aajjxx

    aajjxx New Member

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    Funny, it's become more of a novelty over time w/ me and my woman. We are freaks though. And I love hearing her tell me how big it is, especially when she's struggling to say it because she has me in her mouth.
     
  4. cece

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    Yes. I believe it happens sometimes, especially once a woman learns to accommodate him very comfortably. The feeling and interaction with it becomes second nature much of the time. But that's not always the case for me though - I still do get mesmerized by it from time to time, and do try to let him know how much I appreciate it. Keeping a relationship healthy and happy takes work!

    As with all things in life that are easily accessible to you, you tend to take them for granted, and you don't miss them till they're gone. So I can understand why your long term exes come back to you with a sudden appreciation for you again. As for your girlfriend not mentioning your size these days, it could be that she still appreciates it very much, but is less vocal about it because she assumes you already know.
     
  5. AlteredEgo

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    When I was with my ex whose penis was 10" x 6", I mentioned it a few times early on. It's not like I stopped knowing it was big, but it wasn't something he seemed to need to hear, and I felt no need to say it. It would have been like telling him the sky was blue. We had sex once a year after we'd broken up. By then, I was no longer as familiar with the way he felt, no longer molded to his cock inside, and when I felt that incredible stretch, I did blurt out something like, "Oh, my God, I forgot how fucking big you are!" It was worth mentioning then, because, he felt even bigger than I remembered him feeling. Over our six year relationship, when we were having sex four times a week, sometimes more, and sometimes for a long time, his size wasn't anything new. Other things were new as we got to know our bodies, and each other, and those things I would murmur into his ear.
     
  6. EllieP

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    My answer is sometimes. And if you pardon the pun, every once in a while the topic rears its head. I don't know what happened a few weeks ago, but I just couldn't enjoy things like they were. I don't think I got smaller, and I don't think he got bigger, but he became uncomfortable for me. It put me in a bad mood for days! Seriously.

    I finally made an appointment with my doctor, but it's not until the end of this month. Fortunately, things have settled down and we're good right now, but I don't know what happened or why. Maybe I'll have answers soon.

    So the answer is yes. We've been married for 10 years and the during the first 12 months or so I felt like I had an embarrassment of riches. Then I got used to it. Then I expected it. Every so often I come to appreciate it again, or like lately come to sort of bear with it.
     
  7. petite

    petite New Member

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    There isn't a single time that we have sex when I'm not thinking about his size. I'm either worried that he's going to hurt me or I'm happy and impressed that he's so skilled that he's not, or I'm amazed that he's actually balls deep and I'm taking all of him and loving it, but in one way or another it's on my mind.

    It's never been like that with any other man, though. Like subgirrl talked about in her thread "Do You Even Notice?" and as I described in my post in that thread, unless the guy is too small or too big, I'm thinking about all the other sexy stuff and not about the size of his penis. I wish it was like that with TheBF to be totally honest.

    I don't understand the mysteries of the vagina when it comes to ability to take depth or girth. At least girth is more consistent and predictable. Depth changes can be weird.

    One day he'll keep bottoming out painfully, and the next day he won't a single thrust even though he's balls deep, and then the third day it'll happen again. It was like that occasionally before I got pregnant, very rarely really, but lately it's a dice roll what'll happen and it's totally unpredictable. :confused: :confused: :confused:

    At least girth hasn't been an issue in a while.
     
    #7 petite, Nov 2, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2010
  8. B_crackoff

    B_crackoff New Member

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    It's just the same with tits & looks!

    Familarity if not breeding contempt, does breed a certain apathy.

    Everyone's always astonished when you break up, or suggest you're unhappy with someone extremely desirable, or endowed - but it's not enough is it? Well not if you've got any kind of a mind.

    I remember a truly gorgeous ex, who would have men & women stare at her. She just bored me to tears. It's all about how well you fit together mentally, not sexually in the long run.
     
  9. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    I'm so glad you mentioned that, Petite. I thought it was just me! What is up with that anyway? I could swear that he grows a couple of inches sometimes and others he's holding back. Now, I know that sometimes he's more excited or just gotta get there, so there's a real chance of him hitting the wall. And sometimes it hurts like hell, and sometimes it feel great. Don't know what goes on there too.

    But it makes life interesting.
     
  10. petite

    petite New Member

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    I was also glad that you mentioned it. You are the only other woman here who has mentioned experiencing the same thing. I thought I was all alone before!

    I experienced that a few times before I got pregnant and after I joined LPSG. I've never paid so much attention to the day-to-day changes and differences in my sexual experiences until I joined LPSG, but once I began really paying attention all the time, that's when I noticed it. If I remember the details correctly, it was a long time ago, I wrote about it in the thread RawDog created polling women about the depth of their vaginas because I had this strange experience one week where we had a crazy amount of sex, like 11 or 13 times that week (which I think is a lot!), and one day I was definitely shorter than all the rest of the days that week, much shorter than could be explained by length or hardness changes in TheBF's penis. It didn't make any sense to me, but I felt like I should be totally honest even though I didn't understand it and report what I experienced.

    I attribute the changes now to being pregnant, which made me a lot deeper for a while from my 5th month onward. I first read that pregnancy would cause those changes in a pregnancy magazine, which said that my vagina would become "stretchier" and be able to handle more during sex. The article said that the hormone relaxin and the womb pushing all my organs around enough that ligaments and tissues would cause me to be stretchier than usual. That lasted until about a month ago. Then, sadly, every single time we had sex for two weeks there was some degree of depth pain, either just a little bit so that it was a tolerable amount (probably what other women might consider a Hurts So Good type of pain, but it just made me sad because I thought, "Oh, my fun is coming to an end so soon! Too soon!") and sometimes more than that. I thought for sure that it would continuously and progressively just get worse in a linear fashion, but it hasn't been happening that way. Some days he doesn't bottom out at all, other days, good gracious it's painful! It seems to be unpredictable.

    I wrote about it some here, answering RawDog's question about relaxin and depth.
     
  11. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Well, I wouldn't know about pregnant sex because my husband wouldn't touch me the entire time. And he rarely did after either. And now he's a bad memory.
     
  12. petite

    petite New Member

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    I am so sorry! That would have driven me insane! I was insatiable my second trimester!

    I heard this story so many times that I was genuinely afraid of the same thing with TheBF. He has sweetly refused to confirm that he doesn't find the belly to be very sexy during my entire pregnancy, but he definitely became a lot more cuddly and less horny after we saw the fetus on the ultrasound for the first time. He also lost his erection immediately the first time that the fetus kicked him during sex way back in July, with his cock inside me! And he started being waaay too gentle with me when we would have sex, much more than was necessary, especially since there was no longer a genital incompatibility issue any more! I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to have wild animalistic sex, and he was treating me like I'd break in half if he wasn't careful with me.

    I was aggressive in my approach to the problem. At the next few doctor appointments, I brought up sex every single time. I asked one nurse lots of questions and brought up how TheBF said that he was worried about hurting me or the fetus, and I brought it up to two different OB-GYNs! I embarrassed the heck out of him! But he finally got over it whatever hang-ups he had. I'm not really sure that any of the doctors or nurses actually convinced him. I suspect that he got over it so that I would stop telling people at the doctor's office about our sex life! :lmao:

    Whatever works, right? I'm a practical person. I just care about results. :tongue:
     
  13. EllieP

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Well, I wish that I had known my current husband back then. He makes no secret that he finds pregnant women very sexy and desirable. We can be walking somewhere and a beautiful woman will pass us by - he'll never make a comment. But see one with child and he's full of adjectives! Kinky? I don't think so. He's just sensitive that way.

    He knows I'm not going back into that territory again, but I told him I could give up my gym membership and pack on a few pounds. He politely declined.

    I remember talking with my OB-GYN on more than one occasion, and she even talked to my ex about it. The asshole didn't budge.

    Well, one thing I left out of my story is that he was cheating on me at the time and afterwards. Yes, he was slime, but I couldn't see it at the time.
     
  14. helgaleena

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    It is a symptom of true love to begin to value the entire person, not just their physical equipment. And love is a thing which deepens over time. Yes it can also wane and become boredom or antipathy, but all things need maintenance, including relationships.

    If you miss her exclaiming over your physical, if it is something you require for your happiness, let her know. It is like regular oil changes to the vehicle of your love to help it stay alive-- frank communication.
     
  15. pcghabsy

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    I have never been in a really long relationship (I'm young too) but I wonder if you simply get used to everything given time. Not just the size and appearance of cock, but just about everything. The way you talk, the way you walk, etc. It's all a matter of communication like helgaleena mentioned, to keep things fresh. Do note that much of my post is just speculation and maybe fears as I dont have the experience.
     
  16. helgaleena

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    pcghabsy, it's very easy to take one another for granted after a few years. But at the same time, it is very wonderful to have a person to take for granted! That is the true lure of monogamy, the security it provides. When two people get along so very well that they lose the craving for others, it's a blessing that needs continual gratitude to keep it healthy.

    Now that I am older and have been in many relationships I realize how precious it is when you find it. Monogamy is not our biological default.
     
  17. Drifterwood

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    Every serious GF I had between the ages of 15 and 24 came back for NSA sex when it suited them.

    I am quite proud to say that I said no to some of them.

    I'd probably say yes now though :rolleyes:
     
  18. Wilde316

    Wilde316 Member

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    Its not a huge issue, my ex is the mother of my child. After she got pregnant it was obvious that things didn't fit the way they used to anymore but we worked around it. Our relationship was a good one except for outside influences such as my evil mother in law. I only ask out of simple curiousity, Since most short term girlfriends never stop mentioning it, like it was said I guess you just get comfortable with things. Thank you all for the feedback its nice to have a place where I can have open honest conversations about things like this. I'm not super big or anything not compared to what most guys say they are here, but I'm not playing little league either. Still its not something a guy normally talks about with his friends. Again Thanks for your input.
     
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