Do You Ever Think About Someone Else During Sex?

A_dub

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Is it normal to think about or fantasize about someone else when you are having sex? Does it happen often or is it more of a rare thing? Is it less likely to occur within a long standing relationship?
 

Motion-of-the-Ocean

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Both men and women and I hazard to say, all sexual humans in general fantasize about others when having sex at least once in awhile. To me the question becomes not of whether one does or not, but more of if one chooses to hide that fact from one's partner or acknowledge it openly.

That distinction can be the difference in couples with successful relationships versus those that breed jealousy and resentment and talking about the fact we did think about (and look) at others in a sexual way was the first step in our journey in the swinging lifestyle. While of course most relationships will not get to that point just by telling each other you are turned on by other people, but even if it advances no further than in one's own head, it is still important to acknowledge it, both to yourself and your partner and could be the spark that a hum-drum sex life needs (it could also prove detrimental if one's relationship is plagued by too much jealousy or possessiveness so one's mileage may vary).

For me I won't say I think about others often, but neither is it a rare event and is usually not during vaginal sex when I have both an active role and visual stimulation, but during oral. In fact, that is one of the things I love about the wife giving a BJ is I can relax with my eyes closed and think about both the past sexual situations I've been in as well as any I wish would happen (some of which that might not necessary involve her) and along with the excellent job she does, that's usually enough to make me pop with a greater orgasm I can get with regular sex alone.

I think the longer two people have been together it is more likely and natural to think of others, just because when it comes to sex at least, no one person can be everything to each other.
 

Assman1

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After being married to my beautiful wife since 1998, yes and so does she.

My wife explained it to me early in our relationship, I might have a certain flavor of ice cream that is my favorite but sometimes a person wants to try a different flavor to change it up.
 
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paget54

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No. When I'm having sex with my wife, my mind is completely on the glorious feelings I'm getting, the soft moans she releases, the way she strokes my back or spread her legs. I'm completely absorbed in the moments of fucking, the clenching of her pussy on my cock, the sliding in and out. When she sucks my cock, I've got nothing on my mind other than how good it feels to fill her mouth. I'm not focused on anyone but me and her. None of her friends, no slim athletic body young gal I might have seen in a store, etc. are on my mind.

On the other hand, she confessed to me on Sunday morning that she was thinking about her "list" of stuff she had to do in order to get ready for Christmas while we were having sex just 5 hours earlier. Geez, Louise. She did, however, had an orgasm so she must have at least momentarily NOT thought about anything else.
 

thickcockjames

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I do now and again. I'm not sure where I stand on the topic, on one hand I'd feel kinda bad if she ever told me she was thinking of someone else, but at the same time I've done it so...I dunno. haha. I think it's probably fine, it just happens sometimes. I guess I don't really think of other girls when I'm with my gf because I wish I was with someone else, I think of them because of positions we will get in, or just kind of remember things I'd do with other girls and try it with her.
 
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deleted5700751

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actually i prefer to think of somebody else fucking my wife instead of me. it's normal to fantasize to spice things up in your mind.
 

notthatguy

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I would never fuck someone that I need to think of someone else to fuck....But that is just me.