Perhaps verse 18 could be rephrased as, "It is not good that man be independent." Our God establishes principles and patterns in His Word from which we can extract wisdom, the practical application of
truth. Some of the most basic and fundamental patterns for His purpose are established very early in Genesis.
What is He showing here? That, in relation to God's purpose, the most and the best will
not be produced in us if we are alone. If we are independent, we remove ourselves from the circumstances that will produce the most toward His purpose. In this specific context, God is not commanding everyone to marry, but He is clearly showing that marriage is better than remaining single.
I agree wholeheartedly!
Thanks for elaborating njqt (you're such a cutie)...I must admit that my initial reaction to what you said in your earlier post offended me...but when I thought about our previous communications it just didn't add up - hence my asking you to elaborate - I apologise for not giving you the benefit of the doubt... What offended me was it seemed as if you were defining or labelling my own inner truth when in fact there is so much more to me than just the Bible or being Christian. Now at least I see where you were coming from and I understand much better. Thank you for elaborating things a bit more!
I've included a link to a post I made in the thread about the Creation Museum. I don't expect you to accept it, but I include it that you know what my own personal stance and belief structure is when I approach the subject of Genesis and more specifically the Creation.
http://www.lpsg.org/841125-post68.html
I assure you, that what I shared in my first post about loving through each other's faults etc. comes from a place of my own personal history (and that of my wife's). Firstly, let me first say, that though I share from a place of being married, I do not believe that marriage is the ultimate goal. Some of us are meant to be married while others of us aren't...just like some of us are meant to be gay or straight or teachers or doctors...I think that our ultimate goal in life is to live lives that are authentic to who we are and from which we are able to find the most fulfillment and happiness. That for me is the greatest achievement that all of us can strive for - to be true to ourselves and to find complete happiness in the expression thereof.
My whole approach to my sharing comes from a place of my personal history - it is the only facts that I have from which I am able to formulate my own truths and beliefs system. My sharing reflects an understanding that I formulated from my own experience of finding who I claim to be my soulmate - and trying to live up the responsibility of maintaining and nourishing it.
I had a very destructive childhood where I encountered verbal, emotional and physical abuse on a daily basis. To cut a long story short, I spent more than half of my life with the CONVICTION that I was nothing more than a curse, that God had put me on this earth as a form of punishment to my mother...and my older siblings were more than happy to reinforce that belief. I loathed and hated both myself and my existence, and though I didn't understand what suicide meant, I tried to get it right virtually every day - if I had my own way I would have been dead by the age of ten (thank heavens I didn't).
Fortunately through teachers etc (hence my respect and admiration for teachers) I was able to realise that there was a part of me that was lovable and through that went to therapy etc. Hence my embracing myself completely and being the person that I am today (also explains why I can be so sensitive & passionate in my posts).
My wife comes from a different yet also wounded history, where she was raised with the conviction that roles and pleasing others gives her her own identity. She was expected to be the family puppet and yet be blank to herself. Though her family had met me once and really didn't know me, despite us slowly exploring our relationship for about five years before deciding to get married, most of them refused to attend our wedding because she wasn't doing what they wanted, she wasn't who they wanted her to be and so our getting married was wrong. I guess our own sense of wounded history is what drew us together as friends.
My first words to her when I admitted that I had feelings for her and we decided to give things a try was "I want my love to make you happy" that has always been my foremost goal in life...even before getting married. From my own experience I knew just how necessary it is to develop one's own sense of self and acceptance without relying too heavily on others by way of their acceptance or affirmation. Yes, I need you to acknowledge the good in me, that I may know that I'm getting it right, however I don't need it in order to survive!
Even though by the second year of our relationship we had come to the conclusion that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, we only got engaged about six months before our getting married. The reason for this is: I had developed my own identity and she needed to as well - two halves do not make a whole when it comes to relationships. We each need to be complete people in order to make the relationship complete.
If my wife had her own way (and at times it still surfaces today) I would be the "head" of the house...the one to make decisions, to tell her what to do etc. She would allow her role as my wife to define her and give her her own identity and self esteem. At times it feels like I'm fighting a losing battle, yet she then surprises me by just how much she's "getting it". My approach to our marriage is one of though we share one life, we are two seperate people and that is how it needs to be. I encourage her to "have her own life" by way of making her own friends, going out on her own socials with them, finding her own hobbies and interests" not to end up living seperate lives, but when we do come together we each bring our own selves and experiences to the table.
I believe that to some degree we need to live out our marriage in a way where should either of us die, the other person is able to carry on. I don't want to die and she's left asking herself "who am I?" in the midst of her mourning, because she allowed me to be such a pivotal part of her life - that I have become her identity, her interests, her way of doing things etc. I need to have the reassurance that should it happen, though she will be mourning (I hope :biggrin1: ), she'll be able to wake up knowing who she is, able to accept and affirm herself for her identity and her values and to be able to face the world and possibly even another relationship with confidence and happiness...with the gratitude of her experience of me.
I do not profess to mastering these attitudes completely or that I do not make mistakes. I do not try to mislead you into believing that I am perfect or that I am the perfect husband. These are however my standards that I measure myself up against, my beacon and guide as we continue to celebrate and discover the wonderful gift of marriage that we share.
I end with a quote from Scott M. Peck which I used as part of my vows, which I think sums up everything that I've said...and that I use as my standard every day:
"
Do not ask why I love you. Such a question could invite only the response of conditional love. I do not love you because you look a certain wy, or do certain things or practice certain values.
Only ask me this: 'Do you love me?'
That I may answer, 'Yes, oh yes!'"
My friends have often joked that I take my coffee like I take my men: light and sweet. :tongue: Maybe I need to look for men that take their coffee like I do. :smile: 
