Do you ever wonder??

[whatireallywant]

I think that many people will accept you unconditionally... I don't think that just one person is the one, I mean that person could be anywhere on the planet, how are we supposed to find just that one person? I think that people are raised and that they accept and dis-accept certain things, they then transfer that on to someone they like.

I don't think (after a long crappy day) that anyone will be compatible with me, I have so many trust issues, and need to change things constantly to make sure that I still enjoy it as much as I did previously. I don't think that anyone can keep up with me, accept that I'm not all that interested in sex, want as many animals as I do, and live such a secluded life as I do.

Yeah, I used to joke that if each person has only one soulmate, mine probably lives in Outer Mongolia or someplace! :biggrin1:

I have some quirks that make me not compatible with many people too. But, TK, if you're not all that interested in sex, I'm just wondering why you're on this site? (I like you, it's just curiosity here...)

My quirks? Besides the anatomical preference that brought me here, I do not want kids and never have, plus I am very nontraditional in my interests. (Now, the nontraditional interests part may be becoming a bit less of an issue than it used to be, but for some people it is still an issue) And I am a bit TOO interested in sex! :tongue: Then there are the "views" quirks - sticky political and religious stuff. I won't go into this too much here - you may have guessed already where I am. I will say that I have run into problems with this before when I dated guys who turned out to be Bible-thumpers. With all that I despair of finding "the one".

 

[invisibleman]

So, I expect both sides to accept each other but realise that not every fault will be accepted :redface:

You have accepted the person's unacceptable faults though.

 

[Dave NoCal]

This is a very interesting thread. In the last few years my conclusion is that it has more to being a soulmate than finding one. To me it's about becoming the kind of person I aspire to being.
Dave

 

[NCbear]

I think I've found a man who'll accept me -- all of me, faults and all. He jokes about my inability to throw away promotional mailings. He laughs at my abysmal housekeeping skills (I only clean on weekends). He was not intimidated by my arrogant intellectual posturing, when I tried that tack early in our relationship. And he doesn't complain any more when I buy at least five books every two weeks.

In turn, I joke with him about his inability to keep from making a complete mess of the kitchen (including using EVERY single implement) when he cooks. I hold on to the "oh shit bar" in the car every time he goes around a curve a bit too fast. I tease him about the two pairs of wool dress pants he mistakenly washed -- as well as the three pairs of washable microfiber dress pants he took to the dry cleaners -- within the past two weeks because he has lost so much sleep due to starting his photography business. And I'm not intimidated by his wealthier background and exposure to higher socioeconomic classes than I was.

None of us is perfect. I think the goal is to be happy with a person, not to pick someone who seems to be perfect.

Can this person enrich your life? Does this person's presence in your life help you to feel happy, more alive, more real, more yourself? My man fulfills those roles, for me. No amount of cleaning up a messy kitchen (after he cooks fabulous Mexican comfort food, by the way) can change that.

NCbear (who's still in love after three exciting years)

 

[Ethyl]

This is a very interesting thread. In the last few years my conclusion is that it has more to being a soulmate than finding one. To me it's about becoming the kind of person I aspire to being.
Dave

I've come to the same conclusion. Some of my wants and needs have changed enough over the years that my ideal soulmate of 15 years ago would not be my ideal soulmate now.

 

[LouisVauban]

I was told once, "The more you begin to accept yourself, the more you begin to trust yourself, the more you begin to truly love yourself... you no longer seek to be accepted- YOU ARE - and perfect with all your faults. You no longer need to judge the level of trust in others, because you are already trust-worthy ( the "-" intentional)... and the love you will find is a true sharing, not a need to fulfill something missing inside of yourself."

I had a chiropractic healer I was working with once, to whom I had complained, "The big problem is I DON'T TRUST MEN!" He said, "Horse shit! You don't trust yourself. When you start doing that, you won't go looking for all the reasons not to trust others."

I know this all sounds esoteric-ky, schmaltzy and downright Deepak Chopra. But, there is wisdom in it all.

For myself... I believe there are as many soulmates out there for you, as you choose to have. I am a student of the SETH material... it's in my bones.

My problem is that I have a bad habit of trying to please my new partner so much, that I don't allow my faults to display themselves right away. I am "Mr. Perfect." So, I do a viscious cycle thing, whereby my faults come rolling out so fast, the partner has little time to absorb them and FREAKS.

It's not so uncommon, I hear.

It's not intentional and I have no wish to deceive...

I also get bored quickly.... so after 2 years with someone, I start getting REALLY start to notice all of THEIR their faults.... and they magnify.

Therapy, therapy, therapy.

But, yes I wonder and believe and I truly believe that ONE day, I will look up and say, "HEY! Where have you been? I've been waiting for you."

 

[whatireallywant]

I accept my personality. No problem there. I do wish I had better job skills so I could get and keep a job (but need to get a job to begin with, in order to develop those skills!), but the rest of the personality is fine. I do have a few unusual quirks, in that I don't want kids and am a woman with traditionally male interests, but I'm ok with that, especially the latter (if they don't like it, that's their problem!). Not wanting kids is a bigger problem, if I find a guy who I am compatible with in every way except that he does want kids. That would break my heart.

I do have a lot of body image issues, which I have probably bitched and moaned about too much about already. I go into bars and clubs, and am completely ignored. Not fun. Not that I'm trying to find a soulmate in those places, but I'd like to at least be noticed!

 

[B_ironsoul]

I do think that there is the possibility to pair with another and love dispite faults. Everyone has faults, and so many have found that pure, true love. I don't think that everyone is capable of this however, finding that holy grail. Before you can expect anyone to love you completly, you have to love yourself, and accept your faults, workable or otherwise.
The soulmate concept is a little outlandish to me when I really think of it. I think there are several opportunities to find true love, and timing it right is all it really takes. I myself have come so close to tasting it, I know it is a real thing, and I can't help but hope that another opportunity will present itself. If there were only opportunity for a soulmate, I think maybe 1 in a billion people would ever be lucky enough to experience it. I have suprisingly more faith than that in matters of the heart.

 

[naughty]

THank you Ironsoul,

That was said so eloquently...

I do think that there is the possibility to pair with another and love dispite faults. Everyone has faults, and so many have found that pure, true love. I don't think that everyone is capable of this however, finding that holy grail. Before you can expect anyone to love you completly, you have to love yourself, and accept your faults, workable or otherwise.
The soulmate concept is a little outlandish to me when I really think of it. I think there are several opportunities to find true love, and timing it right is all it really takes. I myself have come so close to tasting it, I know it is a real thing, and I can't help but hope that another opportunity will present itself. If there were only opportunity for a soulmate, I think maybe 1 in a billion people would ever be lucky enough to experience it. I have suprisingly more faith than that in matters of the heart.

 

[SeeDickRun]

I've been lucky enough to have people who accept me just as I am. They're a mix of gay and straight people. One is my partner. We've been together 13 years, through thick and thin, and I don't see anything changing in our relationship. If I'm lucky, I'll be dead by the time he changes his mind. (I'm almost 30 years older than he.) Another is an Army buddy. We've known each other 40 years, live on opposite coasts, but have always been there for each other, in every way. I've gone through all 3 of his divorces with him, and he knows I'll be with him through his next one. (I guess I'm the only one who stands by him... lol.) Then, of course there are my two sons, both of whom love me unconditionally, as I do them. (But then, maybe family doesn't count.)

So, Jeffy, fear not. There will be many people in your life who are the absolute best, closest, soulmates in your life. They come out of the most surprising situations, and come along unexpectedly. Some are instantaneous (like my partner and me), others develop slowly, over a period of months/years, and some you just might create yourself.

 

[nudeyorker]

I met that person about twenty years ago, and when he died suddenly, my world feel apart completely!
Over the years I have changed and grown (up) I think I have met that person again. What I'm saying is that the person I have evolved into has allowed me to find that person again.
Also I have never been bitter or angry, I was sad when it was appropriate. But if you fill your world with work and friends and things that you enjoy you put a band-aid on the void. And when you and the cosmos are ready it happens when you least expect it.
Hope this helps!

 

[B_ironsoul]

thanks. Getting all emotional about this stuff has its upsides

 

[bboy24]

The more I think about it, the more I have to believe that there is only one special lady for me. Because of abuse I can't get close to alot of people and I can't ever see myself having casual fuck sessions and sleeping with a whole bunch of girls. So, to get myself thru the day I tell myself that there is one girl and one day we'll meet, get married, have some kids, all that sentimental shit. And that she will love and accept me for who I am and not try to change me.

 

[Lemou]

I had a bf you loved me so much, but I couldn't take it...

Now, I have a bf who loves me, accept me and taking care of me whatever I do... He does everything for me and I do everything for him

 

[D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn]

I personally think that the whole "soulmates" theory is a bit overrated. I think that when you find that special someone the relationship starts out as somewhat infatuation (""falling in love", can't keep the person out of your mind etc. - yet you don't really know who you're dealing with), it then progresses into what I would like to consider "friendship" where you get to know each other on a more personal and intimate level - you confide in each other (what makes the person tick, strengths and weaknesses etc). I think it's only at this stage where the idea of being soul mates crops in. Where the bond is so great and though you see the person for who they really are (not just on the infatuation level where to some degree what you see is based on chemistry, lust etc.) yet you still can't stay away from each other. This then progresses into love, where you see each other for you really are, warts and all, you can't stay away from each other...yet at the same time there are the occasional hiccups - disagreements, misunderstandings, the faults that irritate you - yet with it comes the decision to love the person through their faults. To not only want the person to be happy, but for the person to grow into WHO they are and not HOW you would like them to be.

I think that there is more than one person out there that is compatible for each one of us, but it's up to us to decide who we would like to have as our soul mate. That's my opinion.

well said.

 

[bluekarma]

I think the idea of a soulmate is a nice one, but I don't believe in it. I believe that what we want and need can change over time. So to me, the person who is your "soulmate" is the person who is willing to roll with these changes and needs and not only accept them, but encourage your personal growth and dreams. This goes both ways of course. You become soulmates when you then share in these discoveries and growths and progress together making a greater pair because of being greater individualy. QuiteOne said it much better, see below.

I think people spend way too much time worrying about the other person and not looking inward. I'm a firm believer that most people really haven't a clue about who they are and what they want/need out of life. Many people get into the trap of just reacting to life and those around them instead of actively living life. Someone mentioned in an earlier post about a family member who had a wife that worshiped the ground they walked on. I find that creepy and sad. I certainly don't want someone to worship me. To me that implies they are insecure. I want a complete person. One that compliments me. The ideology of "You complete me" is all wrong. You're partner enhances who you are, he/she doesn't fill in the holes in your personality. Which gets me back to my original point (if I had one..LOL). I'm not sure about the whole soul mate thing. I think it puts too much pressure on your partner to try to fit them into that mold. I think if you can love yourself and really know yourself and what you desire, the rest will fall into place. If you look for love, you'll never find it.... it has to find you. (Yes that sounds cliché but I feel it's true.)

Baby?? Is that you?? Haha. Wow! My boyfriend could've written this. And I couldn't agree more with what you're saying here. It was he who taught me that the best thing I could do for our relationship was focus on ME and not US. That the US would come little-by-little as we worked on ourselves
independently and that the final product after all this self discovery and self improvement would be an amazing and beautiful US. I'd love to post some of his emails here for you all to read...he really is amazing, amazing in so many ways, but his perceptive and analytical mind literally make me weak in the knees....he leaves me speechless DAILY.

Anyway, sorry, I got sidetracked there...just wanted to say that I think you are right on track with this theory quiteone (your cock is really huge too BTW:wink: ). Thanks for your post. :smile: CG

This is a very interesting thread. In the last few years my conclusion is that it has more to being a soulmate than finding one. To me it's about becoming the kind of person I aspire to being.
Dave

Again, couldn't agree more....along the very same lines....it really is the simple answer, isn't it???

 

[DC_DEEP]

If you will find that "special someone" who will accept you for all your faults and your perks? Yes, I do; and as I get older I despair of finding that one special person. [/quote]QT, I was exactly your age when I had finally given up and accepted the fact that I would be alone the rest of my life. That's when I found the love of my life...

Jeff---as Cute As You Appear With A Very Nice Cock If You Remain Open It Will Happen. I Was Badly Hurt In My Early Twenties And At 24 Met The Sweetest,cutest Most Honest Well Hung Man And We Have Been Together 23 Years!it Is Not Always Perfect But We Love Each Other And Still Have Earth Shatering Sex! So Be Patient It Will Happen. Thanks For Your Posts. I Find You One Of The Most Interesting People On Lpsg If I Did Not Have A Sweetie I Would Be Calling You!

Please don't take this the wrong way, really, I'm just very curious: Why Do You Capitalize Every Word You Type?

Very well said, biguy2738.

I think it all comes down to acceptance. We may not like all of our partner's traits, but lovingly accepting and deeply appreciating him or her as a whole person is the ideal, IMO.

Unfortunately, most people are too reactive to accept another person this way.

It's the instant-gratification, no responsibility, quick-serve, microwave, everything's-about-me attitude I think, that makes people fail to understand what relationships are really all about. No person is perfect. You have to understand that people DO have faults, you just have to decide what faults, and what degree, is acceptable to you. Expecting someone to be perfect, or expecting to be able to change the parts of that person that you don't like, is unrealistic, and will only result in grief. On the other hand, giving up on an otherwise good relationship because that person won't learn whether the knife goes to the left or to the right of the plate, that's just stupid (and I've know couples that broke up over just that sort of thing...)

My partner frequently gets into his type-a fidgeting mode, and starts rearranging things. Afterward, I can't find a pen or pencil to save my life. It drives me nuts, but that's such an insignificant thing compared to his thousands of positive attributes. And I know I drive him nuts when I leave my shoes next to the door (instead of immediately putting them in the closet.) We love each other and treat each other well, though, and we have an amazing, wonderful relationship. 5 years after we have been living together, and in some ways, we still have a lot of that "first-month-as-a-couple" spark.

 

[LeeEJ]

I've got a friend who said that his grandpa's advice went something like this:

Take a brand-new roll of toilet paper. Whenever you sleep with a woman, tear off another piece. When you get to the end, that's the woman you marry.

:wink: :biggrin1:

Needless to say, if I tried this, my roll would be old & dusty by now.

 

[B_ironsoul]

I've got a friend who said that his grandpa's advice went something like this:

Take a brand-new roll of toilet paper. Whenever you sleep with a woman, tear off another piece. When you get to the end, that's the woman you marry.

:wink: :biggrin1:

Needless to say, if I tried this, my roll would be old & dusty by now.

haha that is so cute. I hope he doesn't mean those single ply 1000 sheet rolls though...

 

[LeeEJ]

haha that is so cute. I hope he doesn't mean those single ply 1000 sheet rolls though...

I'm not sure, but they probably didn't have those yet when his grandpa was a young stallion... :biggrin1: